Mapped!!!

After being inundated with requests, from places far and wide, and even from Uranus, I have finally made the definitive map of Mogwash. I have spent the past week studying cartography so that I can bring you a map that rivals the Tabula Rogeriana; a map so map like that it can’t possibly be called anything other than a map. Using the finest materials available to me, and working on it for at least 5 minutes a day [Tuesday AND Wednesday] I am now delighted, nay overjoyed, happy beyond ecstatic, to bring you Mogwash the Map. It is rendered in white ink, with the occasional dash of coloured pencil, on the back of a manila envelope. I know, the craftsmanship is exquisite!

map-on-back-of-envelope-in-cursive-calligraphy

My rationale for rendering it on the back of an envelope is so that you can take it anywhere and it’ll never look out of place. For example it looks cute propped up on the mantelpiece; it looks appropriate casually placed on a chair; and it is ideally suitable for resting in a wicker waste paper basket.

Here is Mogwash on my mantelpiece:-

map-on-the-back-of-envelope-on-mantelpiece

And here is a close-up:-

calligraphy-title-on-map-uk

Anyhow, I am sure that you are bored with my pontificatings and are desperate to re-read about all the places listed on the map so I have thoughtfully provided links so that you don’t have to go scrambling up my annuls trying to find the relevant posts. It’s okay, you can thank me later!!

  1. The bizarre woodland adventure.
  2. Mogs Mill
  3. Mogwash Manor
  4. The Mogwash Arms
  5. No.3, Mogwash Mansions
  6. Scout hut and carpark
  7. The bus shelter
  8. The Grade II listed telephone box
  9. Village Green
  10. Viridian Venus
  11. Rose Cottage
  12. The Onion Gallery
  13. Sebastian’s House
  14. Scarlet’s Attic

Now isn’t it good to know where everything happened? I’m sure you are thrilled.

Meanwhile, I have more news from the mantelpiece [my goodness, it has been an action packed week].

empty-macallan-bottle

I finished my bottle of whisky! I opened it at Christmas, it had been languishing in my drinks cupboard for some time and I was too skint to buy a big bottle of Bells, so I opened the Macallan instead. I put a dash of it in my milk at bedtime, or use it to liven up a glass of coca-cola. It tastes really, really nice! Anyhow, yesterday I thought I might replace it so hunted it down on the internet HERE. Oops.

32 thoughts on “Mapped!!!

  1. dinahmow

    Oh double-bugger! My keyboard does not have a symbol for real money (oh, please! dollars are not real money.Goodness me, people, get a grip! Dollars are rubbish. I should know!)
    See, now I forget what pithiness I was about to impart. Um…Mogwash map. Yes! Brilliant! I;ll go back through the links tomorrow. Why delay? Well, shiver me timbers and stap me vitals! I have a bit of catching up to do, don’t I?
    Oh…about the map on the chair…I thought that was reserved for books? I’d better ask the Inexplicable one…

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Double bugger indeed, Dinah!!!
      Please don’t worry about the links, save yourself for Christmas 2019 when I will collating the whole Mogwash debacle into a handy pamphlet for your delectation, it will only cost £499.00 per signed pamphlet – bargain!!!
      Sx

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    2. Inexplicable DeVice

      I have been revived from my faint by the Freemason’s edit of Gusto’s “Disco’s Revenge” over at Jon’s, and thought I’d return to say that, in my humble opinion (as one who only jumped on the bandwagon [several times, it has to be said], rather than the instigator), the Map of Mogwash would look splendid on a kitchen chair, and better still on a car seat (perhaps in a Land Rover, or Jaguar?).

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      1. Scarlet Post author

        I agree, Mr Devine, the map would look superb poised on the seat of a bashed up muddy Land Rover, of which I have access to. Although it would be nice to see how it looks in a Jaguar, wouldn’t it? So if any one would like to lend me a Jaguar for a day I would be grateful – and I promise no harm would come to it. Well, not much harm.
        Sx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. batarde

    Where are we up to? Triple-bugger I suppose. Still no cartographic activity at Batarde Towers, for the excellent reason that it slipped my mind. There’ll be a deadline too, won’t there? Sigh. And of course Scarlet’s map is resplendent, worthy of a place on the finest of chairs. Curses. Time to see if I can’t squeeze another wee drop out of the MacLidl bottle … Slàinte Mhaith.

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  3. Scarlet Post author

    Mr Batarde – Where are we up to? Or even, Where are we? Are very good questions.
    Moving swiftly on, the deadline for map making is the 31st July, after which you can delete the map making directive from your mind and forget it ever happened, although it would be nice to see a map of Batarde Towers.
    I think I should be sent a lifetime supply of MacLidl whisky so that I don’t cause any more damage to the hearts of whisky connoisseurs.
    Sx

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  4. nick

    You seem to have missed out the hill that’s used for the annual cheese-rolling competition. Isn’t it just behind Mogwash Manor? Using an envelope is a splendid idea. Just as long as an elderly relative doesn’t mistake it for a letter and helpfully post it for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – There is no cheese rolling in Mogwash, but there is an event, which at this moment escapes me! I will have to check my notes, of which there are reams.
      I’m sure the postman would find somewhere to deliver it to – he is very resourceful!
      Sx

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    2. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – Ha! I have found the event in my notes. The interesting thing is that it’s in a post that I chose not to include when I republished Mogwash on Wonky Words. Anyhow, the event involved piggy back rides and prize winning potatoes.
      I might upload this ‘missing post’, or I might not, as it is particularly acidic and I have used bits of it in other posts. Thank you for making me look at he notes though!
      Sx

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  5. lisleman

    Wow 500 pounds for a bottle of whisky (I noticed the label has fine calligraphy)! Will the price go up after Brexit? I’m sure the demand for strong liquor will be up after Brexit.
    “…scrambling up my annuls…” along with a reference to Uranus – that whisky brings the worst out of you.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Yes, Bill. £500 for a bottle of whisky. Who’d thought it? Bugger stocks, shares and ISAs, I’m going to invest in whisky in future.
      The label is lovely! At least I can keep it as a momento to remember to check up on things before destroying them or guzzling them.
      And now you bring up Brexit! Don’t do that, Bill! I am already wounded!!
      Sx

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      1. lisleman

        ISAs – Like our IRAs I assume. I’ve often wondered about people collecting expensive liquors and wines. Forgery seems like a likely problem and if this bottle of whatever grows in value you have the problem of deciding if it’s worth drinking. I think these collectors are setting themselves up for a thirsty dilemma. Collecting the label would be better.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Scarlet Post author

        I think it’s best to buy a bottle when it’s affordable and then wait 30 years! Seems like a good plan.
        I imagine that all the labels I collect will end up being collaged!
        Sx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Mitzi

    Well done that lass! Is Mogwash twinned with anywhere and is it a letter to the council complaining about the bins?

    I can see a tenners worth left in the bottle. My Great Aunt Alice gets through a bottle of whisky a week, it’s Aldi’s finest (sometimes not so finest) decanted into a Glenfiddich bottle.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Mitzi! It is a letter to the council complaining about the green bin man racing passed the house at 5am in the morning before anyone has a chance to get the green waste out. Tut. It’s not like my memory permits me to put it out the night before.
      Your Aunt Alice is a woman after my own heart. I will decant the Bells whisky into the Macallan bottle, and all will be well, sort of. The thing is that I now have a taste for the good stuff.
      Sx

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  7. Inexplicable DeVice

    Oh! It is exquisite! The green Village Green is a lovely centrepiece, and the little trees where the bizarre woodland adventure occurred are delightful! I am trying to hold off clicking the links until tomorrow as it is going to rain all day, and I’ll need something to keep me occupied (apart from working on my own map, that is).
    However, I will click the whisky link…

    * click *

    * faints *

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  8. Scarlet Post author

    Mr Devine, I’d offer you a tot of whisky to revive you, but I don’t think I can afford it! I’m glad you like the map, don’t worry about the links – they are a bit of a muddle. One day I will self publish a little book to get it in order, one day when I have some spare cash…. Grrrrr…
    I look forward to seeing your map!
    Sx

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Peter Wells aka Countingducks

    What I really enjoyed was the sight of one of your chums sitting by the map, clearly bowled over by your originality and enterprise. Given the price of the Whisky even more of his companions were clearly taking a well earned rest around the bottle, possibly following a late night sip or two from the bottle using a special over-length straw they designed themselves to connect them with the precious liquid. I have a duck or two who would have loved a swim in it, the dissolute fellows . hick xx

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Apologies, Mr Ducks!! You keep ending up in my spam box!! To be fair it’s rather jolly to find something nice in there.
      Yes, perhaps I can blame my mantelpiece companions for the loss of the whisky – Nice idea, mr Ducks!!
      Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Lulu – I thought the Stop/Go men should have pride of place. They are now in conversation with the tiny bears!
      I don’t think I’ll ever forget the whisky.
      Sx

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