Category Archives: Calligraphy

What is it…..?

I am thinking of changing my career. I believe I have a knack for photography and have been encouraged by Charmaine’s warm, enthusiastic words. She has described my efforts as fitting within the ‘Modern Abstract’ genre of photography and reckons I could even be accepted by the venerable institute of Not On the High Street as a place to display and sell my wares.

Here is my latest effort….

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What is it????

I am not so sure that I should give up my calligraphy aspirations, but Charmaine is adamant that she would be happy to take care of all my nibs and stationery supplies, I almost suspect that she is after my pens, nibs and ink and her encouragement may not be entirely selfless.

Anyhow, here is my most recent calligraphic effort….

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New Envelope!!!

Finally…. Fleetwood Mac…. what’s that all about???

AND…. surely this is Karen Carpenter….But it can’t be…

Promises, promises…..

Well, I did say I would return this week [or was it last week? I have no idea.] Life is complex at the minute, but I would like to re-engage with my blog friends. I will ease myself back gently.

Firstly, I took this pic last week whilst walking Sidney…yes, I do call him Sidney now… and I thought of Mr Devine and his epic coastal travels, which I have always envied – all those cormorants and groynes and lashings of ocean – it is just not fair, BUT, I do have a lot of this sort of thing going on….

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Morning walkies…

Secondly, I have been faffing around with collage and calligraphy. I have so many scraps, including scraps of stories…. so I thought I’d make some jolly storyboards to send to people. You might recognise the tiny text, it is from an old blog post that had nothing to do with being down in a quarry.

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Toodlepippinggrippingstuff,

Sxx

Happy New Year!!!!

Some may notice that I am a little late with my felicitations. Apologies. Better late than never.

My time is being consumed by this….

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I’m on the bed what’ya gonna do about it??????

Please note that it is not advisable to let a Jack Russell on your bed. The Jack Russell is bred to go to earth to flush out foxes and badgers for hunting….so NEVER allow him under your duvet whilst you are still in the land of nod or you may have a very undignified awakening.

Sid is very energetic….. needing 72hrs of exercise per day….which leaves very little time for this….

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Special K

This poor ‘K’ has taken me over a month to complete…. and probably should have been posted to a friend in time for Christmas. I am ashamed of myself.

Anyhow…. 2016 is over. It was not the best of years. There was Brexit. There was/is Trump. On a personal note I found out that the man I sold my old cottage to was brutally murdered in my old home – on this floor that Mr Jimmy described as decidedly grubby. Reports of the murder were in the national press, and I found it both horrifying and disturbing. I have felt withdrawn ever since, and my good humour has somehow been dented. Mogwash began in that old cottage.

I will probably not write much calligraphy in 2017, I am not feeling the vibe for it, it’s a generic sort of art form in any case, and as soon as I tweak my writing to make it look individual somebody comes along and copies my tweaks without a by or leave or a credit. I am fed up with this sort of behaviour, so I give up on it. There I said it. Done with. I am fed up with feeling grumpy about it.

I mean to blog in 2017. I was a grumpy old bat in 2016, and the grumpier I am the less posts I write as I know they will be dismal dull like this one. I also mean to read more books. In between running around after Sid I have managed to read one book so far – YAY!!!

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Look At Me – Sarah Duguid

Apologies for this book not being on a chair, but I read it on my Kindle app. Look At Me is about a grumpy posh girl with an eating disorder and father fixation who discovers she has a common as muck half-sister who has an OCD regarding cleaning. There is a bit of bitching, and some sulking, and the wearing of a very unpleasant silver frock, leading to slapping, flouncing off, and some good old-fashioned setting the bed sheets on fire – literally. It was very well written and I enjoyed it.

2016 RIP

Another Invitation of Sorts [Tales From Luddley-cum-Mogwash, Part 44]

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Bottled Temptation

Moonchild Etherington-Smythe, owner of the Viridian Venus gallery, gathers the post from the doormat as she breezes into her colourful domain causing the tassels on her sequined scarf to fly in her wake. She is no longer just a small time gallery owner; thanks to her huge online profile [13 million followers on Instagram and 50,000 Likes on her Facebook page] she is now also responsible for running a network of crafty workshops across the UK, and Malta. Workshops include: Whittling Abstract Spoons [spoons without handles and vice versa]; How To Express The Sound Of A Vacuum Cleaner Through The Medium Of Paint [ever popular]; How To Write Like A Two Year Old [inky fun, no previous experience necessary, only £60 per head]; AND, Generic Retailing [how to sell new-found skills online within five minutes of learning them]. Moonchild is proud of her artistic success. She is proud to be such a creative inspiration for so many people and, she is proud to be at the apex of the crafting pyramid.

Moonchild flicks through her mail before taking off her velvet coat and flinging it on the counter. A grey envelope draws her attention, she turns it over and caresses her name and address with her stubby ring stuffed fingers. The address feels raised, as if embossed.

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A Peculiar E

Moonchild is familiar with the craft of calligraphy, she smiles and nods approvingly as her eyes settle on a distinctive, wonky ‘g’, and the curvy, very peculiar ‘E’. Someone after my own heart, she thinks. She pauses and decides against tearing the envelope with her fingernails, instead she takes a pair of mini pinking shears from beneath the counter and carefully cuts a neat row of shark teeth across the top of the envelope. She tries to guess the nature of the invitation, because surely this has to be an invitation?
Within the envelope there are two pieces of brown cardboard taped together to protect the inner content. Moonchild snorts and expertly makes short shrift of the tape, she tosses the cardboard into the bin and places a black and white photograph of a bottle on top of her velvet coat.
What sort of game is this? She wonders. She turns the photograph over to reveal a scribbled time, date, and address: 8pm, 21st November 2045, Mogwash Village Hall, Mogwash. As a squally wind causes the gallery door to swing open, a memory recollects, and Moonchild is chilled to the bone.

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A Bad Memory?

The Joy of Lettering – A book on a Chair….

Finally a perk for being an online calligrapher! I have been sent a book to review direct from the publisher. I am chuffed to be asked. The book is The Joy of Lettering by Gabri Joy Kirkendall and Jaclyn Anne Escalera, and ‘joy’ is the operative word.

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A big book on a chair!! 144 pages of lettering joy!!

The book is divided into five sections covering the history of lettering; stylised typography; lettering techniques; lettering with alternative media; and a final section for projects. The projects are well illustrated with easy to follow instructions throughout; they are probably best suited to beginners, although after a casual perusal I did feel inspired to learn how to digitise my lettering, and perhaps make my own Christmas wrapping paper…

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Wrapping paper project!!

I will definitely make the gift tags…

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Jolly Christmas tags!!

…and I will possibly do something artful with an envelope. I was a little perturbed/distressed by pages 82-85…. I would be fibbing if I said I didn’t twitch a little – you will have to grab a copy of the book to find out why, fortunately the project featuring laminated foil made up for this – as I’ve always wanted to know how this is done, AND there is instruction on how to make a hand-lettered typeface, which is something I’ve always wanted to try.

With hints and tips aplenty, The Joy of Lettering demonstrates how all lettering techniques can be applied to enhance a plethora of craft projects. It’s a resource book that encourages the reader to try new ideas, to hone their skills, and, most importantly, to develop their own unique style.

More reviews and where to buy The Joy of Lettering HERE

In other news:-

Over Halloween I had a visitation. This often happens to me in October. A penny dropped. A discarded teabag was discovered in the hallway. A death occurred… and I finally committed myself to finishing my epic pamphlet called The Chronicles of Mogwash. Fear not, I will not randomly publish Mogwash related posts on this blog. I will finish the damn thing first so as not to cause my six dedicated Mogwash fans unnecessary suffering.

May the teabag be with you.

Sx

Lucky You…..

….or not so lucky.

I did used to enjoy writing those old advert posts, but over the past few years I have been consumed by calligraphy, and, to be fair, I haven’t seen many adverts that I’ve felt inspired by. Is it my jaded old brain or the new swathe of boring adverts that are to blame? Bit of both I reckon. Also I have a tendency to be scrolling through my iPad whilst the adverts are on so maybe I should pay more attention?

Anyhow, here is an old advert post from 2011.

Due to the sluggish financial market the Halifax staff have little to do. They are under strict instruction to only authorise two mortgages this year and can only lend to people who don’t need loans. The financial advisers have all been made redundant and now the entire business is propped up by the canteen staff who have diversified by setting up a radio station in the basement of an NCP car park in Buttocks Booth just off Lumbertubs Lane. They broadcast daily, via telegraphic transfer, to five mountain goats on a farm in Southwold, Suffolk.
Scottish widow Sandy and Co-operative Carol provide the morning entertainment with a breakfast show. They are a tight team; they have a mutual interest in investing extra digits in their hedge funds and have bonded over unit banking. Alas, they are so enamoured by one another that they have failed to notice the potential threat of a hostile takeover bid from tea boy, Derek. He has coveted their breakfast slots from afar and, in an effort to remove the women from the helm he has sabotaged Sandy’s liquid assets. He completes the arm’s length transaction by passing Sandy her mug. The mug handle breaks causing hot tea to spill across the mixing desk. Carol and Sandy are unfazed by life’s little dramas. They have each other and therefore the accelerated depreciation is negligible. They smile sweetly and, still laughing, still singing from the same spreadsheet, they tell Derek that life is better with a beaver.

And to finish on a topical note a little gilded insult from Lulu’s suggestion on a previous post,

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Trump?

NEXT TIME: Under the weight of all the books, the chair breaks, leading Ms Scarlet to enrol on a chair restoration course where she meets a man in a bobble hat who offers her a hobnob and a cup of tea from his tartan themed thermos flask….