Category Archives: Calligraphy

Of Unicorns and Boobs

Phew! Wot a scorcher, etc, etc… I am a day late with my promised post, apologies, but I am still wafting aimlessly, and playing around with my curtains/windows as per my last post. It is exhausting.

And, speaking of my last post, Mr Mags enquired about the background paper that I use in my collage photographs. It is this:-

Back in 2012, or thereabouts, I decided it would be a challenge to paint some text from my favourite book – a book that always makes me laugh until tears are streaming down my cheeks and I am reduced to a hiccuping mess on the floor. It is this book:-


I originally bought it for my Dad when I was about 10, and didn’t quite understand it like I understand it today. It is a collection of misprints from the world’s press. And I can’t even read the cover without snorting and getting a stitch in my side.

The clipping I was trying to paint was this one:-

I will zoom in…

I was trying to paint it so that I captured the print quality, and failed miserably. Sadly, today’s press is digital and therefore news-sites are less likely to make such comical errors, however this didn’t stop me from reading this morning that Unicorns Warn on Cost of Living Crisis….

A tune, I think, with a seventies vibe…

Hot and Bothered

It has been too hot to do anything other than to waft about in loose clothing opening and closing windows as per instructions via the BBC weather people. Open a window during the wrong part of the day [God forbid] and there is the threat of being turned into something resembling a dry roasted peanut, or such like. Anyhows, this week has been tropical in Devon, despite appearances….

But thankfully it is fresher and a lot less humid today.

I have a nagging thought that I’m supposed to be taking pictures of my garden for the Great Blogging Gardening Competition 2022. I am also supposed to be supplying Melanie with a picture of a tree, and of a secret path. I must remember to do these things.

I do have this picture of my very first family garden that I can’t resist publishing before Mr Devine’s big event….

I have no idea why my aunt is wearing heels to weed, nor why my mother saw fit to wear slippers to use the concrete roller thingy. This is the only time I’ve seen the concrete roller thingy in action – as a child I used to climb on it to try to see over the big fence at the end of the garden [not the same garden or big fence as in this pic]. I think this picture only serves to underline the eccentric nature of the Blue family – see what I had to grow up with!!!

Moving on, I have made a couple of collages, the first is for a calligraphy exchange…

using calligraphy scraps in art.

….and the second is not going anywhere….

collage-and-calligraphy

I have made a lot of collages, and most of them get sent away to far off climes, or just down the road, but I am going to keep this one. I will frame it, and I will make more in a similar vein. I have a big one planned that will break copyright laws. Tough. It’ll worth it.

Next week [or the week after?]: Scarlet makes merry with a scalpel and some gold leaf. And also takes more photos.

Attention….Attention!!!!!!

Well how bloody quiet is it in my blog reader????? The only person making a daily effort is dear Jon! Nick pops up once or twice a week, but the rest of us are a complete blogging shambles – we are flickering in and out of the Blogosphere like a dying candelabra, and we are about to be snuffed out if we are not careful.

I will try to make amends. Since January I have made a few collages, including this one that has finally reached Maddie….

….I wasn’t sure if it was going to arrive – I send these collages out there never knowing for sure if they’ll reach the intended target. I’m pleased this one did as it’s one of my favourites.

And for my Copperplate Special Interest Group recipients, I sent the following….

….a self involved madam….

….a potential murder suspect….

….and an unbroken ink bottle….

….with added flashy calligraphy.

Obviously some of these little narratives are more melodramatic than others. I am liking the ink bottle for being short and sweet and for not meriting the need to feature in a novel.
I hope my CSIG friends don’t find my offerings too peculiar!

In other news: It is Spring. It is warming up. I have shaved my legs. I will be back on Sunday to share something riveting and not to be missed – though I haven’t yet made up my mind what that will be.

Bursting in at Bedtime?

Time for a new, and possibly vague post, and what could be more fitting than a comforting little bed-jacket, hmmmm?

To be fair I think this lady is better equipped for critical girlfriends bursting into the sleeping chamber unannounced…

I have some exciting news [especially for Rimpy] – the FGES have arrived in the US and are safely in the hands of Mistress Maddie. I am wondering if there is a FGES curse, as those who win them seem to go to ground at the very sight of them, and sometimes the winners are never seen again. Let’s hope this isn’t the case with Maddie.
Along with the shorts I also sent Maddie a little something that was sort of British. I should have sent Devonshire scones with jam and cream – or at least a picture of this produce, but I made a collage instead.

Meanwhile – HAPPY EASTER!!!!! Have a wonderful weekend and if you intend on spending time in the garden please remember to protect yourself with a substantial 4 ply woollen.

P.S Please ignore the top ‘feature’ picture, as this is for the benefit of Mr Devine, he has left his blog unattended, and this is what happens if you leave your blog without the necessary security. I’m crossing my fingers that his sideboard will be disturbed, which will prompt him to at least pop by for a little light dusting.

NEXT WEEK: Easter bonnets, or woollen swimming caps? You decide!!!

A Trail of Splinters….

Charmaine glared up at me, her eyes glowing from a small dark hole in the floor, which we referred to as the cellar, but was actually just a small dark hole in the floor capable of concealing two bodies, or Charmaine.

‘Why have you stopped writing The Sunday Ketchup?’ She hissed.

I shrugged. It was a fair question.

‘Am bored with it; nothing has happened; and I don’t like the word ‘Ketchup’,’ I replied, ‘it’s so Daily Mail.’

Charmaine heaved her way up through the floor and stood in front of my desk dusting herself down.

‘That’s ridiculous, Aunt Scarlet! Just post some pictures! Any pictures!’

And then she stomped off, leaving a trail of splinters in her wake and forgetting to lay the rug back over the hole.

It was true, I did have pictures, but I had no words. The best I could find from my very secret journal was: I think Estee Lauder discontinued Double Wear Light foundation because a little went a long way, hence it wasn’t generating enough repeat buys often enough – that’s my theory. Bastards.

I had written few emails, and the best line I could find was: My walks are fairly long for someone with short legs.

By comparison my calligraphy practice had taken an inventive turn:-

I had also thought ahead regarding The Great Gardening Blogging Event 2022, and had taken a photograph of some Snowdrops:-

AND, I had been sorting through my mother’s old knitting patterns in view of using them for future collages, and I’d found this:-

Maybe Charmaine was right, I did have enough content to make a post. All I had to do now was to spin it together and make some sense of it all….without using the word ‘ketchup’.

Next week: Will Aunt Scarlet write something more interesting? Will her calligraphy become legible? Will she trip on a misplaced rug and fall down a hole? Or will she see sense, stop trying to write sentences, and simply slap up pictures from knitting patterns instead? All will be revealed in the next enthralling post on Wonky Words! Bet you can’t wait.

Sunday Ketchup – The Cancelled Week

Who would have thought that cancel culture would catch up with Santa and cancel him?! That’ll teach him to invite small children into his grotto. Anyhow, Christmas has not yet been cancelled, but it could be on the cards, and talking of cards – mine are in the post!

Admittedly, I am too late for Italy and the US, but as Christmas might be postponed then I guess these cards still might get there in time.
It was a joy to ink the name ‘Borghese’ – ascenders and descenders in all the right places!

AND, my tree is up!

In my very secret journal I wrote: The sofa has arrived!!!! The delivery men launched it into the hallway and fled, hopefully leaving no time to exchange particles of Covid.

And in the very last email I wrote I said: I honestly could have slept from the moment they jabbed me in the arm – I sort of glazed over, and although still functioning I didn’t feel quite right. Much more myself today.

BUT, that was on Monday, and to be fair the rest of the week was a bit of a spaced out blur, and I only really started feeling okay yesterday – though I’m still pleased I had the booster, BUT, not so keen on the idea of having one every 3-6 months.
Because I have been indisposed, I think I now need to catch up with my blog reading…..

A tune….