It had been many weeks since I had last posted on my internationally acclaimed Wonky-Words blog. Why had I let my blogging prowess slide? Was I afraid that my legions of fans had abandoned me? Was it because I had too much to say and couldn’t fit it all into the white posting box? Or was I simply giving my readership time to savour my previous witterings?
It was none of the above. Sadly my time had been consumed by watching the pandemic death graphs, I had convinced myself that should my eyes waver, even for a second, then the graphs would shoot upwards and kill everyone – it was, after all, my singular vigilance that kept the UK graphs on a steady decline. It was an arduous task, but I was committed and dilligent in my determination to lower the figures, and not let any snippet of Covid news pass me by. And then, on the 15th June I got bored and decided to commit myself to something else instead.
I turned my head away from the graphs, switched off the news; started reading a book; looked out across the meadows; marvelled at the dancing flamingos on a nearby millpond; watched a couple of good films; started taking multi-vitamins; realised my tinnitus was easier to ignore when I stopped masking it with noise; and I remembered that I was a great artist of considerable merit.
And so I returned to my turret at the bottom of the garden, where, for many hours, I toiled over vintage documents; read previous blog posts; dabbled with specialist inks and papers; sampled fine whisky; so that I could bring my loyal readers an untimely art piece entitled: The Lost Trevor – A combination of vintage imagery and previous words.
Finally I had some artwork to slap up on my blog….
I shall leave you to enjoy. BUT, I hope to bring more thrilling, yet possibly random, words to this neglected blog next week.
Not only have I been scrubbing, and opening shops, but, since last Wednesday I have also been practicing my calligraphy every morning. I do it whilst listening to the news and write phrases and headlines that pique my interest.
My practice includes all my mistakes, spelling and otherwise. I have a calligraphy confession – after 9 years of practicing copperplate I still can’t form a proper capital ‘D’. I use a simpler version when I write a D. In today’s practice we can see that my struggle is real, and rather ugly.
I also have a problem with numbers….and lowercase x – which is a bit of an issue when writing UK news headlines. I am working on the x. And the numbers. On the plus side, because I am writing down bits of news, I am learning stuff…. like the fifty pence piece was introduced in 1969 and was generally disliked. I always rather liked it because it was a funny shape and I could buy a lot of sweets with it.
I tend to switch nibs and ink whilst I practice; I am trying to note down which nib and ink I’m using, but I don’t always remember. Today I opened a fresh bottle of Ecoline – hence my writing went a bit blobby cos the ink was runny.
I apologise for the poor quality of the pictures – I have no idea what to blame for that – too much fiddling with the light controls whilst editing perhaps?
My next mission is to start reading books again so that I have something exciting to put on a chair.
Right, I must be away because I need to do something urgent with a sonic scrubber….
Iam now available to buy on Etsy!!! Not me personally [that would be illegal], but my collages. It has taken me forever to make enough collages, photograph them all, and then tackle the steep learning curve that is Etsy, and although my shop isn’t the slickest in town, it is open, and it’s enough for now. I have added a link on my sidebar.
Other news: I have been scrubbing. My house is now a dust free zone, and I have very shiny taps. I had let things slide a little since March and I suddenly snapped – my inner domestic goddess came alive and found there was fun to be had with a flexible hose and a long-nosed crevice attachment. She even moved the furniture.
So that’s what I’ve been doing. Apologies for the blog neglect. I am back now.
Ihave been unwell this week, meaning the post I meant to bring you is still languishing in my notebook, unfinished and untyped. You are not missing much. There are two references to chocolate, and something about having several flirtatious encounters by 1pm. Nothing new there then. I believe I began writing this post back in May, what are the chances of me finishing it in time for next Friday? We shall see.
In other news: Brexit = headache + sore eyes + raging tinnitus ÷ hope = despair
So, with this in mind here is a picture of my latest collage. The pictures aren’t the best because I had already framed the collage before remembering to take some pictures. PLEASE NOTE, the drawing of the tree is not by me. It is something I’ve had in my care for many years and I’m pleased to finally have it on display.
Next Week:- How to wear an inappropriate dress in November and not feel the chill.
Thwarted in my attempt to buy Greenland, I have spent the week searching for an alternative purchase. I travelled far and wide, up hill and down a dale; I navigated dangerous terrains; I fought with malicious insects; until finally I was desperate for the loo and wound up here…
An Island!!!! Just sitting in the sea waiting for me to invade! Perhaps I could turn it into a golfing resort? Imagine – a sprawling hotel featuring a multitude of sandy bunkers with those cute mini flag poles planted over the plush green lawns. And there will be holes!!! [what do I know about golfing terminology?]. I’m sure the puffins wouldn’t mind. Or Perhaps I should give up on this buying an island malarkey, after all, I only have 60p and a dog-eared luncheon voucher in my purse, perhaps a feud with Denmark would be easier to instigate?
Meanwhile, I have some pictures of summer leaving Devon….
Now, let us speak of more pressing matters, like why is this blog post a day late? Because I was bitten on the ankle by a Horse Fly, so obviously I could do nothing other than sit on the sofa with my leg up to reduce the huge itchy swelling. Nothing could possibly be as itchy as a Horse Fly bite – it gave me a couple of sleepless nights and made me very grumpy.
Next week: How to start a feud with the golfing fraternity – A beginner’s guide.