Of Unicorns and Boobs

40 Replies

Phew! Wot a scorcher, etc, etc… I am a day late with my promised post, apologies, but I am still wafting aimlessly, and playing around with my curtains/windows as per my last post. It is exhausting.

And, speaking of my last post, Mr Mags enquired about the background paper that I use in my collage photographs. It is this:-

Back in 2012, or thereabouts, I decided it would be a challenge to paint some text from my favourite book – a book that always makes me laugh until tears are streaming down my cheeks and I am reduced to a hiccuping mess on the floor. It is this book:-


I originally bought it for my Dad when I was about 10, and didn’t quite understand it like I understand it today. It is a collection of misprints from the world’s press. And I can’t even read the cover without snorting and getting a stitch in my side.

The clipping I was trying to paint was this one:-

I will zoom in…

I was trying to paint it so that I captured the print quality, and failed miserably. Sadly, today’s press is digital and therefore news-sites are less likely to make such comical errors, however this didn’t stop me from reading this morning that Unicorns Warn on Cost of Living Crisis….

A tune, I think, with a seventies vibe…

40 thoughts on “Of Unicorns and Boobs”

  1. batarde

    Goodness (hic), if the cover’s any(hic)thing to go by I (hic) wouldn’t survive the whole book. Hic.
    Splendid lettering, by the way … I was wondering how you’d done that and still am.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Batarde – It’s a fabulous book! Everybody should have a copy! I can’t get through the whole book without my face hurting.
      The lettering – painstaking, hence why I gave up, though I might have another go – it might involve a very longwinded tracing process and a very small paintbrush.
      Sx

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  2. 63mago

    And I thought it was print ! Kudos ! Hut ab !

    Are the drawings mentioned on the back cover good ? Is the “Steadman” mentioned Ralph Steadman ?
    I know him only for his work on Hunter S. Thompson’s scribblings, but “Private Eye” is totally unknown to me anyway. They must have read an enormous amount of papers, and where can you find the Tanganyika Standard ? BL perhaps.
    I’d love to stroll through this book, put a large grin in my face, thank you !

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Mags – yes, the drawings are good! They don’t detract, they fit in gracefully.
      And the Tanganyika Standard can be found in Tanzania.
      Private Eye has been going since 1961 with connections to Peter Cook, and Ian Hislop.
      I’m very pleased it made you smile!
      Sx

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      3. Scarlet Post author

        Mr Mags – My public toilet posts were years ago; I’m seldom out enough in public anymore to use a public toilet, but if I ever am I’ll look for toilets like the ones in your article. If I can hold it that long!
        Sx

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  3. Mitzi

    I thought it was print too, I suppose you could call yourself a scribe. I have flicked through Private Eye once or twice in Morrisons but decided it was too highbrow and bought Take A Break instead (for the competitions).

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Well, depends what mood I’m in as to which magazines I choose – sometimes only Take A Break will do. This book is simply a collection of misprints – I can’t imagine that it wouldn’t make you laugh!
      Sx

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  4. dinahmow

    Oh! I wish I’d kept my copies of Private Eye!
    Peter and I did start compiling funny ads and signs. One that still makes me giggle was “Ears pierced while you wait.”
    I doubt anyone else remembers Grocer, Wislon and Thorpe-it…

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    2. Scarlet Post author

      Dinah – No, I don’t recall Grocer, Wislon and Thorpe-it! I feel like I am missing out, and Google is not being helpful!
      I love old newspapers!
      Sx

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  5. Jon

    I love Private Eye – I used to buy it regularly, back in those dusty pre-instant news, pre-Daily Mash, pre-pandemic days when one actually went to shops and bought things to read. I even had a letter from the legendary Paul Foot when I submitted a piece for publication, asking me to verify my sources. I couldn’t provide enough for them to publish it, unfortunately.

    That succession of failed attempts by the Tanganyika Standard to correct what should have been a simple classified ad had me hooting! I need to seek out a copy of the book – it’s right up my street. Jx

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Oh Jon! What was your story? – Please give a hint, or a clue!
      Yes, you really would love this book – I’ve read it dozens of times and it never fails to make me laugh.
      Sx

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      1. Jon

        I think it might have been about Wellcome and the dodgy way it promoted the previously banned-for-being-deadly drug AZT as suitable for the wholesale “treatment” of asymptomatic gay men with HIV, who then went on to die. I wrote pieces on the subject for a magazine that was dedicated to exposing many of the myths and lies being peddled during that era of mass-hysteria, but getting into the Eye was a prize I failed to achieve… Jx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. melaniereynolds

    Oh fun! Yes, That book would do quite nicely here. I’ve got a book around here I got for the Mister some years ago caled “Bawdy Language” I’ll have to scare it up and see if it’s worth a mention.

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  8. Inexplicable DeVice

    Things must be bad if even unicorns are feeling the pinch?

    Are your curtains and windows glad to be having a rest from your ‘adjusting’ now that it’s cooled down somewhat?

    P.S. That must have been an absolutely terrifying owl!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – I know! What sort of owl attack causes diarrhoea??? I will try to find out more.
      Meanwhile, I can now look out of the windows during daylight hours – it rained and there was thunder and lightning- a proper show! But, Mr Mags was quite correct when he said it would be like a sauna. Should feel fresher tomorrow.
      Have you had the rain yet?
      Sx

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      1. 63mago

        We got nothing, no rain, hence no sauna – just higher temperatures of 35°C+. It’s too hot to even think properly, forget to do something meaningful. I read a book about le cul.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Scarlet Post author

        Raining solid here in Devon, Mr Mags. The West Country is now threatened by flash floods; I’m up high so I should be alright.
        Your weather will break when we send the clouds across – it’s such a relief when the temperature drops.
        Sx

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      3. Inexplicable DeVice

        It finally rained this afternoon. And then a storm circled around for a bit, grumbling and producing more rain (but no visible lightning), but it’s gone now. We may get more tomorrow, and it is lovely and cool at last!

        35°C+ Mr Mago?? Thats just not on. I’d write a strongly worded letter of complaint, if I were you.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Scarlet Post author

        I think more rain will come your way tomorrow, Mr Devine. Imagine, in a couple of days I will be complaining about the mud and will have forgotten that summer ever happened.
        Sx

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      5. 63mago

        THen there is hope after all !
        To make things interesting I received a massive “update” on my smart phone. All I can see now is that it sucked a lot of my data account, but no real change – in earlier days the computers solved the problems they created, now it’s the phones. I just want a damn portable phone that works !
        HilfmirGOtt !

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Scarlet Post author

      Joey – I know! I really snigger at the ‘very dead Dad’ clipping! I feel I really shouldn’t, which makes me snigger even more.
      Yes, Olivia did have a very pure voice – something I was late to realise as well.
      Sx

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  10. Nick Rogers

    Oops, late to the party as usual. I love the media boobs that turn up in Private Eye. I shall always remember the classic headline “Nut screws washer and bolts”. I like “The sex change lasted sporadically for about one hour.” Damn, and he was hoping it would be permanent.

    I remember Snipcock and Tweed, who incidentally published my no-holds-barred autobiography, Counting The Cost” (872 pages, £24.99 or £12.50 with Tesco Clubcard). I gather they’ve now been taken over by some hedge fund based in the Cayman Islands.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – I am now expecting you to forward a copy of this autobiography within the next hour and I will pay you mates rates, and throw in a pretty penny and a freshly laundered towel.
      Sx

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  11. Nick Rogers

    It’s currently out of print but I understand a reprint is being considered. Your local library might have a copy, probably being used as a doorstop.

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. looby

    I am off to see if that cracking book is still available. Thank you Miss S, those had me giggling like a child, and could be a good Christmas present (aargh, it’s only August!).

    Liked by 1 person

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