Tag Archives: FGES

Bursting in at Bedtime?

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Time for a new, and possibly vague post, and what could be more fitting than a comforting little bed-jacket, hmmmm?

To be fair I think this lady is better equipped for critical girlfriends bursting into the sleeping chamber unannounced…

I have some exciting news [especially for Rimpy] – the FGES have arrived in the US and are safely in the hands of Mistress Maddie. I am wondering if there is a FGES curse, as those who win them seem to go to ground at the very sight of them, and sometimes the winners are never seen again. Let’s hope this isn’t the case with Maddie.
Along with the shorts I also sent Maddie a little something that was sort of British. I should have sent Devonshire scones with jam and cream – or at least a picture of this produce, but I made a collage instead.

Meanwhile – HAPPY EASTER!!!!! Have a wonderful weekend and if you intend on spending time in the garden please remember to protect yourself with a substantial 4 ply woollen.

P.S Please ignore the top ‘feature’ picture, as this is for the benefit of Mr Devine, he has left his blog unattended, and this is what happens if you leave your blog without the necessary security. I’m crossing my fingers that his sideboard will be disturbed, which will prompt him to at least pop by for a little light dusting.

NEXT WEEK: Easter bonnets, or woollen swimming caps? You decide!!!

And The Winner Is……..

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Oh thank goodness… Mr Devine has written this post for me, which is a summary of the best captions left for the legendary Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts competition, and reads as follows…

So many great captions! I think they’re all fabulous – especially one or two that probably aren’t captions – here are some of my favourites so far (not that my opinion means anything, of course):
Batarde’s “Nice boots and sofa.” – I imagine it said like Worf does, HERE

Norma(n)’s “Why would I want anything from someone who gives enemas to their xmas ornaments before storing them?”

lisleman’s “Scarlet taps into her secret cache of Cognac.”

Maddie’s “This will only be a small prick, I promise.”

Rimpy’s “These damned vape pens are so hard to refill!” (And I LOVE “Dr Scarlet Jinglepants”!)

and Savvy’s “Scarlet, so lithe, winsome, and delicate had to resort to using her hiking boots and dog to avoid sliding off her fabulous furry sofa whilst wearing the World Famous Freaking Green Elf Shorts which are made from the finest polyester velvet!”

You have your work cut out for you, Ms Scarlet. I’m so excited to find out where the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts will end up next!

Well, Mr Devine, the wait is over!!! I am boxing the shorts up as I type [no mean feat], and collecting other bits of British tat treasure from around the house to send on to Mistress Maddie!!!!!!! I might even include a frozen Codfangler!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS MISTRESS MADDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My question is: Does Mistress Maddie ever do small pricks????

How Maddie might look in the FGES!

*BTW, My favourite Mr Devine caption was:- ‘Desperate for a wee – and using the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to soak up any unintended leakages – Ms Scarlet applies the final speck of glitter to her artisinal Christmas bauble that she started making six months ago. She should finish the set of six by 2024…’

**AND, even though Mr Devine wrote most of this post I still had to do all the links, and I am very tired now.

Resolution no.1 – Get rid of THE SHORTS.

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Happy New Year!!!!! And welcome to THE FREAKIN’ GREEN ELF SHORTS COMPETITION!!!!!!

A rough guide to the competition:-

The legend of the FGES [Freakin’ Green Elf shorts] began in Ohio, USA in 2004 when Andrea Knapp (a British ex-pat) bought a pair of novelty Elf Shorts for her husband George as a gag gift. For a laugh, Andrea took a photograph of George wearing the shorts and posted the pic on her blog. Andrea then decided to turn it into a caption competition, not thinking ANYONE would want to win them…. and the rest is Blogging history.

The general idea of the ‘Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts’ Caption Competition is to post a photo of yourself on your blog, wearing THE SHORTS.

Whoever comes up with the best caption wins THE SHORTS.

The current holder of THE SHORTS then sends the winner THE SHORTS and a few souvenirs from their country.

A definitive history of THE SHORTS can be found HERE. Many thanks to Rimpy for this incredibly detailed history!

So, without further ado, here is my photograph for you to caption…..

You have until Saturday 15th January 2022 to caption the photograph by leaving a comment on this post with your entry. The winner will be announced on Sunday 16th January 2022 [GMT].

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Sunday Ketchup – The Omicron Week

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So, December started well then, with a brand new Covid variant to send us into panic mode, and Storm Arwen, which plunged many of us into darkness, ahem. Things can only get better?

Meanwhile, I have been pondering my blog – if I am to keep the mantle of ‘Blogger’ I really ought to blog more often; more regularly; MORE CONSISTENTLY! With this in mind I have devised a new hook to hang regular posts on. I will attempt to post every Sunday like wot I used to, and my hook will be called: Sunday Ketchup. It will be a random account of my week and will include quotes from my journal [my very secret journal that I show no-one ever!]; photographs; collages; calligraphy; and, of course, the obligatory piece of Sunday music. How thrilled you must be to read of my good intentions. Again. Let us proceed…

The week began so well, and looked so pink and pretty….

I managed to do some calligraphy for Christmas cards, all was going well…

calligraphy for christmas cards

….but then I wrote this in my journal…

I swear I saw the Grim Reaper, he was driving an old black Audi; he had long black hair, grey skin and very blue eyes. He waved as he drove past – slowly and deliberately. It wasn’t my turn.

….and mid-week I found myself writing this in an email…

This means that on Monday I will ring the Omni Supplier team again, and have another Groundhog conversation with them. I actually don’t think I can bear to do that!

By Friday I was creating collages like this…

…and now I just I want to listen to this…

And that was the week that was. Let’s hope next week turns out better.

Oh, please make a note in your diary – The FGES caption competition will be held on 1st January 2022 and the winner announced on 31st January 2022. Thought I ought to mention that.

An update, and a short educational film

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I have an update. How thrilling. My toothache has subsided for the time being so I’m hoping to write a post that doesn’t focus on minor health issues, instead I will focus on Mr Devine’s less than subtle hints that I should get on with the FGES competition, as witnessed here and here.

I have the shorts. They are here, with me. I received them from Tumblr blogger, AlpoJones way back in November 2018. Good grief, have I really had them that long?! Anyhow, Alpo included some goodies with the shorts, as seen here:-

FGES

There was also chocolate, but that didn’t last the week. Gone. Thank you Alpo for the shorts and the extras all the way from Seattle!

If you are interested in the definitive history of the FGES then you can find it on Rimpy’s blog HERE

I will run the competition before the end of the year. I promise!!! So enough with your not so subtle hints, Mr Devine! Though I am sort of dreading putting them on again…. maybe I can work round that? Maybe I should just wrap them up and send them to Mr Devine.

Meanwhile, here is something educational for those who are baffled, and not at all interested in the ever so slightly grubby velour shorts…