Oops.

I seemed to have missed Valentine’s Day. Apologies. Obviously I love you, though possibly not enough to give you my last Rolo, and certainly not enough to give you anything from Lindt or Thorntons.
I am still suffering from global angst…. local angst…. and household angst. The garden angst is beginning thanks to the biggest Bumble Bee EVER chasing me across the lawn this morning. Why is it even awake??? It is foggy outside, but the bee is drawn to the exotic scent from the bloomers at the bottom of my garden. There are flowers, which I can’t identify, bursting forth from my Devon bank. I will take a photograph when I remember. Please don’t get too excited.

Meanwhile, I have been reading, and the tomes are now stacking up to be photographed on a chair, but before I do this I will come bang up to date and join in with the showing of shelves – an organised meme started by Mr Devine, and continued by Mr Lax, Dinah, The Very Mostest Mistress and, Mitzi. I hope I haven’t missed anyone??

These are my shelves:-

book shelves

Stuff.

Click to make big, etc. I do have more books, but they are kept hidden in the larder cupboard and the sideboard…. and there are also piles of calligraphy books, which are kept in piles around this room for easy access. Perhaps I will photograph these for my next post along with my bloomers??

Last night I watched the new drama SS-GB, which was about what might have happened if the Germans had won The Battle of Britain. I fell asleep. It was deadly dull in comparison to Apple Tree Yard. To be fair it was deadly dull in comparison to Call the Midwife….

Anyhow, the fog is slightly brighter now and so I am away to wander down dale, and up the khyber, over the meadows and under the mizzle.

Laters, mes amis.

Fuzzy, Big, and Swinging

Yesterday I had a glance at my old blog and was distraught to discover that many of the YouTubes I had embedded into my posts were no longer available to view. Some of the adverts were no longer available due to breach of copyright….Ppfftttt! My poor old blog!! It now makes even less sense than it did before.

Anyhow, I came across this old post from 2009…. the video had gone but the comments were intriguing…. comments such as: With a bulge like that it can only be an advert for Hannigan’s Truss Boutique from Kevin Musgrove. I decided that it was imperative to trawl through YouTube to find a replacement copy of the video. This is the best I could find…. it’s even fuzzier than ever…. now he looks like he’s wearing no pants at all…but we still have the daring use of a light fitting to admire…

Happy New Year!!!!

Some may notice that I am a little late with my felicitations. Apologies. Better late than never.

My time is being consumed by this….

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I’m on the bed what’ya gonna do about it??????

Please note that it is not advisable to let a Jack Russell on your bed. The Jack Russell is bred to go to earth to flush out foxes and badgers for hunting….so NEVER allow him under your duvet whilst you are still in the land of nod or you may have a very undignified awakening.

Sid is very energetic….. needing 72hrs of exercise per day….which leaves very little time for this….

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Special K

This poor ‘K’ has taken me over a month to complete…. and probably should have been posted to a friend in time for Christmas. I am ashamed of myself.

Anyhow…. 2016 is over. It was not the best of years. There was Brexit. There was/is Trump. On a personal note I found out that the man I sold my old cottage to was brutally murdered in my old home – on this floor that Mr Jimmy described as decidedly grubby. Reports of the murder were in the national press, and I found it both horrifying and disturbing. I have felt withdrawn ever since, and my good humour has somehow been dented. Mogwash began in that old cottage.

I will probably not write much calligraphy in 2017, I am not feeling the vibe for it, it’s a generic sort of art form in any case, and as soon as I tweak my writing to make it look individual somebody comes along and copies my tweaks without a by or leave or a credit. I am fed up with this sort of behaviour, so I give up on it. There I said it. Done with. I am fed up with feeling grumpy about it.

I mean to blog in 2017. I was a grumpy old bat in 2016, and the grumpier I am the less posts I write as I know they will be dismal dull like this one. I also mean to read more books. In between running around after Sid I have managed to read one book so far – YAY!!!

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Look At Me – Sarah Duguid

Apologies for this book not being on a chair, but I read it on my Kindle app. Look At Me is about a grumpy posh girl with an eating disorder and father fixation who discovers she has a common as muck half-sister who has an OCD regarding cleaning. There is a bit of bitching, and some sulking, and the wearing of a very unpleasant silver frock, leading to slapping, flouncing off, and some good old-fashioned setting the bed sheets on fire – literally. It was very well written and I enjoyed it.

2016 RIP

Something NEW!!!!…..on a chair……..

Okay, so 2016 has been the most crappiest year ever…. at the beginning of December I felt there was little else to do other than sulk on a massive scale. I am very good at sulking. Obviously my sulking has collided with Christmas, meaning that I don’t really have a lot of Christmas spirit…. so…. no cards and presents for anyone this year…. honestly…. don’t wait by the letterbox expecting anything from me…. my way of rebelling against World events, commercialisation, etc, was to buy NOTHING….. I thought I’d spend my dosh on a Rescue Dog instead….

WOOF!!!!

WOOF!!!!

WOOF, WOOOOOOFFFFF!!!

WOOF, WOOOOOOFFFFF!!!

So, I have a new friend!! I am sulking less, but I’m now suffering from sleep deprivation.
I am thinking that this is how I might always ‘do’ Christmas in future i.e. give money, and support, to a charity of my choice instead of buying junk that nobody really wants….Santa can bugger off and leave my chimney alone…. although, if pushed, I may indulge in a sausage roll and the occasional tipple [let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water] and now that I am in a better, less sulky, frame of mind….

MERRY JOLLITIES TO YOU ALL!!!!!!! LOVE SCARLET AND SID XXXXXXXXXXXX

A Game of Fourplay

I have been tagged to do a meme, and, as is my way, I have decided to do it immediately – granted I have postponed it for nearly a month… but this is as close to ‘immediately’ that I could get. Thank you Mr Nikos for tagging me!!

Okay…. this is complicated….I have to give four answers to four questions, which are:-

1. What is your favourite food?
2. What are your favourite drinks?
3. Places you’ve been?
4. Names that you’re known by?

FOOD WOT I LIKE:-

1) Chips
2) Potatoes
3) Cake
4) Biscuits

I am a cheap date.

DRINKS WOT I LIKE:-

1) Whiskey
2) Irish Coffee
3) Calypso Coffee
4) Irish Cream Coffee

Not that cheap a date.

PLACES I HAVE BEEN:-

1) The King’s Arms
2) The Hung Drawn and Quartered
3) Dirty Dick’s
4) The Crypt, Deptford

WOT PEOPLE CALL ME:-

1) Ms Scarlet
2) Snug
3) Frustrating
4) Impossible

If anyone would like to join me in some Fourplay then please feel free to do so. And, because it is THAT time of year, I will finish with a tune….

Billy Mack – Christmas is All Around (Love Actually) from Christmas is All around on Vimeo.

Another Invitation of Sorts [Tales From Luddley-cum-Mogwash, Part 44]

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Bottled Temptation

Moonchild Etherington-Smythe, owner of the Viridian Venus gallery, gathers the post from the doormat as she breezes into her colourful domain causing the tassels on her sequined scarf to fly in her wake. She is no longer just a small time gallery owner; thanks to her huge online profile [13 million followers on Instagram and 50,000 Likes on her Facebook page] she is now also responsible for running a network of crafty workshops across the UK, and Malta. Workshops include: Whittling Abstract Spoons [spoons without handles and vice versa]; How To Express The Sound Of A Vacuum Cleaner Through The Medium Of Paint [ever popular]; How To Write Like A Two Year Old [inky fun, no previous experience necessary, only £60 per head]; AND, Generic Retailing [how to sell new-found skills online within five minutes of learning them]. Moonchild is proud of her artistic success. She is proud to be such a creative inspiration for so many people and, she is proud to be at the apex of the crafting pyramid.

Moonchild flicks through her mail before taking off her velvet coat and flinging it on the counter. A grey envelope draws her attention, she turns it over and caresses her name and address with her stubby ring stuffed fingers. The address feels raised, as if embossed.

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A Peculiar E

Moonchild is familiar with the craft of calligraphy, she smiles and nods approvingly as her eyes settle on a distinctive, wonky ‘g’, and the curvy, very peculiar ‘E’. Someone after my own heart, she thinks. She pauses and decides against tearing the envelope with her fingernails, instead she takes a pair of mini pinking shears from beneath the counter and carefully cuts a neat row of shark teeth across the top of the envelope. She tries to guess the nature of the invitation, because surely this has to be an invitation?
Within the envelope there are two pieces of brown cardboard taped together to protect the inner content. Moonchild snorts and expertly makes short shrift of the tape, she tosses the cardboard into the bin and places a black and white photograph of a bottle on top of her velvet coat.
What sort of game is this? She wonders. She turns the photograph over to reveal a scribbled time, date, and address: 8pm, 21st November 2045, Mogwash Village Hall, Mogwash. As a squally wind causes the gallery door to swing open, a memory recollects, and Moonchild is chilled to the bone.

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A Bad Memory?