Happy Birthday to Me!!

It is my birthday. I have a buggy head cold sort of bug thing, which is buggy. I am eating cake, so all is well. I think the bug was made worse by this sort of thing….


More snow…

When I looked out my window and saw this I thought it was a rather pathetic attempt at snowfall, it was only when I came to walk Sidney that I realised that the snow had been blown off the fields and into the lanes making them impassable by most vehicles – even 4x4s. Do I have pictures of the lanes? Of course I don’t…. you need fingers to take pictures, and my fingers were frozen within two pairs of thick woolly gloves. I’m actually very sad that I don’t have pictures because it was all very dramatic and rather rare for Devon.

Meanwhile, I am concerned that we have lost Mr Mags, I believe this is due to technical issues, so I shall be trying to contact him the old-fashioned way via pen and paper…. I was thinking that I could buy a card that we could all sign and send on to him, obviously this card would start in Devon, UK, then journey to Norfolk…. it would then spend some time in Texas, HERE and HERE before making its way to Canada, then down under to Australia…. [perhaps Dinah could stand over Ms Prinny when she signs it so that it doesn’t get lost] and then finally to Germany. I’d like Mr Mags to know that we are all thinking of him.

Yes, and while I am on the subject of lost things…. shall I see if I can purchase an item of clothing to replace the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts??? Shall I? Just as a temporary measure until the real ones show up…. but it wouldn’t be the same would it? All the legendary stains/smells/curly hairs would be missing.

Right, I must rouse myself to eat more cake….

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!

But I am still very grumpy, and even grumpier now that I seem to have killed my Loopy Letters website with a flurry of plug-in updates. Apparently I do not have the required internet speed to service a WordPress.org blog. I blame the weather – it is bogging every thing down. ‘Devon’ is such a sweet sounding name, but what it actually means is: vat of mud.

Anyhow, before I accidentally destroyed Loopy Letters, I was going to write a joyous little post about Valentine’s day, which would spread love and…er… joy. There were going to be dancing nymphs; a ray of sunshine; chocolates; flower garlands; love hearts aplenty; fluffy poodles; cute kittens; cashmere mittens; jolly bunting; a toaster; a coffee grinder; and a cuddly toy… BUT, I have been thwarted, and my mood has again been sullied, so my only option is to inflict one of my vintage poems upon you instead…

*Clears throat and tries to speak proper English like wot the Queen does*

Shall I compare thee to a changeable afternoon in June?
Thou art bad-tempered, moody, but thou oft make me laugh:
You may have wind summat rotten and sad elasticated pants,
And that afternoon that doth flashed by a bit quick:
Sometimes you get blinky in the eye and you miss it,
And oft’ it gets tiresome and overdramatic;
And every country fair has a beer tent,
By chance a brisk breeze showing nature’s bush untrimm’d:
But thy changeable afternoon in June shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that wobbly chin and come hither expression;
Nor shall Death wander off and brag about nicking your bling,
When in eternal lines deeply scratched on a tree:
So long as forests are protected, and there are opticians and designer glasses,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

And here is a very poor, deliberately off centred photograph of this stunning piece of literature made real…


Damn, spilt my tea again….

And yes, this will be sent out under the banner of The Loopy Letter Project… yes, it could be winging it’s way to YOU!!!!

Some of you may recognise this gorgeous little verse from HERE. As part of my ten years of blogging celebrations I shall be revisiting some of my most lauded work and republishing for my legions of new followers.

So there you go then, have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, my lovelies!!


P.S Should I keep all the Loopy Letter stuff here??? That site gives me such a headache… and it seems to have vanished completely… apparently I have to access some behind the scene files… excuse me whilst I go backstage.
*Exit, pursued by a bear*

Seriously Grumpy Now

Ifell over again! This time a not so innocent young dog WAS involved in my downfall. My knees are black, blue, light ochre, mauve, and there are also unseasonal shades of orange, but this might be to do with an ink spillage.

AND I AM FED UP. I am fed up with the weather. I feel as if I’m a character living within a cartoon and every time I leave my cartoon house another character comes along and throws an enormous bucket of water over me and then the whole audience watching the cartoon fall about laughing as I stand there dripping from eyelash to well manicured toenail. FED UP I tell you.

Meanwhile, I have completed ONE Loopy Letter. I have written about it on my Loopy Letter website. But, I am fed up with myself for not getting more done. It is an awkward time of year for me though, what with being preoccupied with towels, and hair dryers, and trying to stop the mud from coming through the front door. And when I am not doing battle with what other people fondly refer to as ‘the outside’ I am feeding a wood burning stove a large chunk of forest. Do you know how much dust a wood burner makes???? It looks so cosy on Pinterest – stylish, clean, tidy. The reality is a thick coat of dust over everything, and chips of wood and sawdust trodden into rugs and carpets. Apologies, I am whingeing.

Anyhow, here is a snippet of my first Loopy Letter…..


First Loopy Letter….

Coming Soon….

News regarding The Scarlet Blue Ten Years of Blogging Celebrations!! To be held in June 2018!! Watch the space…. but move aside swiftly if you see a grey cloud clutching a bucket of water heading towards you.

Happy New Year!! And a Mishap.

Apologies for my tardy, and possibly tawdry felicitations. I have been involved in a minor mishap involving Storm Eleanor, a tree, and a muddy public footpath. The dog was also there, but is a blameless innocent creature. It was my own stupid fault for trying to jump down from the trunk of a fallen tree and misjudging the distance from trunk to ground. I landed badly, twisted my ankle, and possibly caused some damage to my knee. I shall gloss over the part where I nearly passed out in a deserted country lane. I am not one to make a fuss, it’s not like I was going to lay there undiscovered for weeks on end – hell, if the worst came to the worst I could have simply pulled out my smart phone and published a blog post to alert people of my distress, failing that I could have rung the emergency services.

Anyhow, all is well now, other than a twinge in my knee, and I still feel a bit odd. As part of my recovery process I have been propped up on the sofa watching box sets. So far I have watched all seasons of Stranger Things; Feud; and The Tunnel. I have become something of a TV drama addict, so imagine how thrilled I was when Killer Women with Pie appeared on my TV guide….

New Bake Off!!!

What could this be? Could it be a new Bake Off programme featuring female serial killers showing off their soggy bottoms? Or was it about dangerous femme fatales with a weakness for pastry nibbles? Even better, was it a new psychological drama whereby a crusty British detective and his French female counterpart race against time to prevent a batch of mince pies from going stale midway between Folkestone and Calais? Sadly, it was none of these, it was Killer Women with a pasty, patronising geezer. Programme makers please note that Killer Women with Pie had so much more potential.

Happy New Year!!!! Here’s hoping that all major drama in 2018 is fictional and confined to our TV screens!

It’s that Time of Year…

….but first let me say a HUGE, ENORMOUS THANK YOU to everyone who responded to my Loopy Letters project!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I am looking forward to getting stuck into the letter writing in the New Year – I have now worked out that all the letters WILL form a loose narrative, and I have begun writing them on my laptop before I write them out in calligraphy. I am excited to get started properly.

Meanwhile, I have been doing some of this sort of thing….


Festive envelopes!!

Mistress MJ has just this minute reminded me of Blue Peter and the annual Christmas Advent Crown – it’s amazing what can be achieved with four candles, two wire coat hangers, a bundle of tinsel, and a handful of golden balls. My mum would never allow me to make one as she perceived it to be a fire hazard. I still remember the excitement I felt when John Noakes lit the first candle, which meant the countdown to Christmas had truly begun. I promised myself that when I was old enough to be trusted with a lit candle then I would make myself one…. unfortunately I am still not old enough, so we will have to make do with this…


RIP John Noakes 1934 – 2017


I wanted to make a grand announcement, I wanted something of a fanfare with trumpets and bunting, but it is not to be. I am underwhelmed by a cold and am feeling wretched. I do have news though. I have a brand new calligraphy blog. Yay. Go me. It is here:- www.loopy-letters.co.uk. And with this new website I begin a new project. This is not a bog standard calligraphy blog, oh no, this is a Scarlet Blue calligraphy blog. Obviously I would like to sell some calligraphy related bits and pieces, but the real purpose of Loopy Letters is to document my new project.

My intention is to write 100 Loopy Letters. Over the years I have found it difficult to combine my interest in creative writing with my addiction to calligraphy. If I sit and scribble short stories then my calligraphy suffers and my hand gets rusty. If I concentrate on calligraphy then my brain feels a bit numb. So I have decided to marry calligraphy with creative writing and write 100 fictional letters. And, these letters will be sent to people. The letters together might eventually form a longer narrative, or each letter might remain an individual flash of fiction. This project might turn out to be as challenging as the Chronicles of Mogwash…. Mogwash may even feature 🙂

modern-calligraphy-white-ink-on black-paper-fine-art-style-uk

Scribbly, fast-hand calligraphy…

Anyhow, if you would like to receive a Loopy Letter in a beautiful calligraphed envelope, and be part of this project, then please contact me so that I can add you to my address list. I am hoping that I will get truly stuck into this project in the New Year.

Meanwhile, things will carry on as normal on Wonky Words. There will be more words. There will be pictures. But not necessarily in that order. Now please excuse me whilst I go blow my nose on the bunting.