Tag Archives: Mrs Fitzpatrick

Dear Doris….

Remember Doris from the previous post… you know, the woman who was chucking things in a skip? Well, there’s a letter on its way to her… and relates to this post: How to Make Money from Art

May 2007

Dear Doris,

I am so sorry to hear that you have been suffering lately. Divorce can be a painful, bitter experience that can leave a person feeling bruised, empty, worthless, rejected, and insecure. May I suggest that you enrol on one of my visionary workshops?
All of my workshops encourage personal enrichment and spiritual enhancement, and are specifically designed to bring harmony where there is discord, faith where there is doubt, and hope when you’re feeling nothing but despair.
For your specific needs I am pleased to recommend: How to Express the Sound of a Vacuum Cleaner through the Medium of Paint – no previous artistic ability necessary! This workshop is person-centred and proactively designed to stimulate the development of personal empowerment. On completion of this workshop 92% of participants report an increase in general wellbeing, confidence, and light-headedness, and all participants are entitled to a 5% discount* on any further workshops offered by the Viridian Venus.
The next presentation of this workshop will be on Saturday 16th June at the Viridian Venus Gallery from 12 noon to 5pm, a deposit of £150 will be required in advance to secure your placement, and a further £150 on the day. Refreshments will be provided, but please bring your own vacuum!!

Look forward to seeing you soon!

Your friend,

Moonchild

*Early Bird Rate – Full payment 30 days in advance to claim discount.

I have been trying to write this letter out in copperplate on Crown Mill textured paper. It is lovely paper, but it does hinder my flow. It’s a slog to be honest, so I might scrap this…

copperplate-letter-writing-uk

….and write it out in modern calligraphy. One of the reasons I started this project was to help me determine which of my hobbies I prefer, would it be creative writing, or calligraphy? I only have so much time and I’d like to dedicate myself to just one major hobby. My feeling is that creative writing wins….SO… I will continue with these letters…. but they might all be in modern calligraphy – far quicker, and less soul-destroying. I have decided that I loathe my copperplate!

I am feeling sad. Sad about lots of things. It’s okay. My parents were whipped into hospital at the weekend. For the past few years they’ve had ongoing medical issues causing them to be regularly admitted to hospital. I feel like a useless daughter. Perhaps I need a life affirming workshop?

Dear Esther….

calligraphy-letter-to-Esther-loopy-letter-project-2A Loopy Letter has been sent out and received!!! I can confirm that the postal system in the UK does work!! This letter relates to: The Only Eccentric Artist in the Village… To be fair this doesn’t really help, does it…?

Esther,

Just a quick note to ask you to tell John that I have cleared out his things. The clothes and belongings he left here have been sent to the church for the Summer Bring and Buy Sale. The vicar was grateful, though I think he has nabbed the cashmere jumpers for himself. For the items that nobody wanted, I have ordered a skip, it is on the driveway and contains most of the shed. Perhaps John would like to rescue some bits and pieces? You know, like the vintage gardening implements he is so fond of accumulating for no reason whatsoever. And that cricket bat signed by Shane Warne and Liz Hurley. There are even some things that you might like, for example: the hideous, tacky gold frock that John bought for me for my last birthday, it would suit you, although perhaps it would be too small? Also, I no longer wish to be called Mrs Fitzpatrick, so you are more than welcome to claim this mantle at some future date.
I’ve asked for the skip people to come and collect before the weekend as the neighbours are taking advantage by either using it as a public waste receptacle, or snaffling all the ‘good stuff’, so don’t leave it too long!

Doris

envelope-addressed-in-copperplate-style-calligraphy-script-to-mrs-esther-robinson-crown-mill-envelope-and vintage-stamps-uk

This was not the first Loopy Letter set free to cause confusion and befuddlement. I am still awaiting news of the first – it had a long way to go so perhaps it is lost?
Anyhow…. I have wedding cake to eat…

The Only Eccentric Artist in the Village…

bottled-air-calligraphy-price-tag-within-bottle-devon-uk-left in-skip

Hot air….

During my absence it appeared that some members of the Mogwash community had wholeheartedly embraced the ideas of contemporary art. For example, Mrs Fitzpatrick, who lived on the fringe of the village in the six bed-roomed neo-Georgian barn conversion known as Rose Cottage, had obviously benefited from our little chats because she had casually assembled and installed a startling piece of sculpture on her block-paved driveway. As a trained artist, with trained artist skills, I could comprehend and appreciate her efforts on a much deeper level, efforts that to the uneducated eye may have been mistaken for the unwanted contents of a dilapidated shed in a skip. With my artist’s eye I could appreciate the exquisite juxtaposition of gold lame evening gown and broken pitch fork as being a subtle metaphor for a society in crisis, emphatically highlighting the intrinsic cruelty of cultural disinclination and disintegration.

I was envious and slightly in awe of her talent, she had even gone as far as to cleverly leave her art piece unmanned so that any passing artist could redefine her vision by adding or subtracting objects, meaning that the piece was continually in a state of flux, forever evolving . . . The addition of a moldy mattress brought a whole new perspective to the project . . . it was enthralling to witness this mutating masterpiece. I contributed in a minor way by donating a bottle of air.

I had to accept that times were changing and I was no longer the only eccentric artist in the village . . .