A Mogwash Newsflash

News reaches us of the strange disappearance of Richard Etherington-Smythe. Speculation has it that the sat nav system on his ride on mower malfunctioned and he was last seen by friends and neighbours mowing his way through the Butterfly Sanctuary and Bee Reserve at Moggins Meadow, 5 miles south of his 25 acre ornamental gardens at Mogs Mill Manor. In the unlikely event of anyone finding Mr Etherington-Smythe, please telephone the news desk at The Mogwash Mouthpiece immediately. Please note, he is not thought to be dangerous.

Also worthy of mention is the aspiring graffiti artist who, in an attempt to emulate the popular artist Banksy, has been using his mother’s Cath Kidston stenciling set to leave his tags across the village, most extensively in the bus shelter, in the grade II listed phone box, and all over Mrs Fitzpatrick’s hand built alpine rockery [with water feature]. Please note that we at The Mogwash Mouthpiece will not tolerate such blatant misbehaviour; we know who is responsible for these senseless acts vandalism and will be passing on the relevant details on to the appropriate authorities in due course.

Finally, we have received several complaints regarding a website known as Wonky Words. Does anyone know what this site is supposed to be about? The Mogwash Mouthpiece feels that this site is in some way responsible for the German archaeologist who has begun excavation work in the car park next to the scout hut. His name is Mago and he claims that he has been given permission to dig for ancient artifacts in the area known as Mogwash. We would like to assure residents that we are looking into this matter and will report our findings in the Christmas edition of the Mogwash Mouthpiece – on sale in the newsagents from October 21st.

10 thoughts on “A Mogwash Newsflash

  1. I am happy to report that the “Wonky Words” Blog is a very amusing read, and not to be missed if possible. As for the crazy Sat-Nav lawnmower man, I’ve no idea where he is, but then nor does his Satnav most probably. Mine is always getting lost, poor thing, and ended at the back of the fridge recently, possibly training for some polar exploration exercise.

  2. That explains that! I was mysteriously contacted via e-mail this morning by someone claiming to be a bail bondsman from Mogwash EZ-Bail inquiring if I would be willing to co-sign a bail bond for Herr Mago in the event on an arrest. I am currently checking with my credit card company regarding my credit limit versus the currency exchange rate. I am confused by the math involved!

    • Mr Lax! We must start up a petition immediately to save Mr Mags from the Mogwash Mafia. I will need funding for this so will send you a PayPal request for £1,500.00 [about $10.00], I will look forward to your remittance soon as.
      SX

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