Tag Archives: calligraphy

What is it…..?

I am thinking of changing my career. I believe I have a knack for photography and have been encouraged by Charmaine’s warm, enthusiastic words. She has described my efforts as fitting within the ‘Modern Abstract’ genre of photography and reckons I could even be accepted by the venerable institute of Not On the High Street as a place to display and sell my wares.

Here is my latest effort….

a-very-blurry-photograph

What is it????

I am not so sure that I should give up my calligraphy aspirations, but Charmaine is adamant that she would be happy to take care of all my nibs and stationery supplies, I almost suspect that she is after my pens, nibs and ink and her encouragement may not be entirely selfless.

Anyhow, here is my most recent calligraphic effort….

calligraphy-collage-uk-vintage-envelope

New Envelope!!!

Finally…. Fleetwood Mac…. what’s that all about???

AND…. surely this is Karen Carpenter….But it can’t be…

Promises, promises…..

Well, I did say I would return this week [or was it last week? I have no idea.] Life is complex at the minute, but I would like to re-engage with my blog friends. I will ease myself back gently.

Firstly, I took this pic last week whilst walking Sidney…yes, I do call him Sidney now… and I thought of Mr Devine and his epic coastal travels, which I have always envied – all those cormorants and groynes and lashings of ocean – it is just not fair, BUT, I do have a lot of this sort of thing going on….

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Morning walkies…

Secondly, I have been faffing around with collage and calligraphy. I have so many scraps, including scraps of stories…. so I thought I’d make some jolly storyboards to send to people. You might recognise the tiny text, it is from an old blog post that had nothing to do with being down in a quarry.

collage-calligraphy-uk

Toodlepippinggrippingstuff,

Sxx

Happy New Year!!!!

Some may notice that I am a little late with my felicitations. Apologies. Better late than never.

My time is being consumed by this….

jack-russell-UK

I’m on the bed what’ya gonna do about it??????

Please note that it is not advisable to let a Jack Russell on your bed. The Jack Russell is bred to go to earth to flush out foxes and badgers for hunting….so NEVER allow him under your duvet whilst you are still in the land of nod or you may have a very undignified awakening.

Sid is very energetic….. needing 72hrs of exercise per day….which leaves very little time for this….

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Special K

This poor ‘K’ has taken me over a month to complete…. and probably should have been posted to a friend in time for Christmas. I am ashamed of myself.

Anyhow…. 2016 is over. It was not the best of years. There was Brexit. There was/is Trump. On a personal note I found out that the man I sold my old cottage to was brutally murdered in my old home – on this floor that Mr Jimmy described as decidedly grubby. Reports of the murder were in the national press, and I found it both horrifying and disturbing. I have felt withdrawn ever since, and my good humour has somehow been dented. Mogwash began in that old cottage.

I will probably not write much calligraphy in 2017, I am not feeling the vibe for it, it’s a generic sort of art form in any case, and as soon as I tweak my writing to make it look individual somebody comes along and copies my tweaks without a by or leave or a credit. I am fed up with this sort of behaviour, so I give up on it. There I said it. Done with. I am fed up with feeling grumpy about it.

I mean to blog in 2017. I was a grumpy old bat in 2016, and the grumpier I am the less posts I write as I know they will be dismal dull like this one. I also mean to read more books. In between running around after Sid I have managed to read one book so far – YAY!!!

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Look At Me – Sarah Duguid

Apologies for this book not being on a chair, but I read it on my Kindle app. Look At Me is about a grumpy posh girl with an eating disorder and father fixation who discovers she has a common as muck half-sister who has an OCD regarding cleaning. There is a bit of bitching, and some sulking, and the wearing of a very unpleasant silver frock, leading to slapping, flouncing off, and some good old-fashioned setting the bed sheets on fire – literally. It was very well written and I enjoyed it.

2016 RIP

Lucky You…..

….or not so lucky.

I did used to enjoy writing those old advert posts, but over the past few years I have been consumed by calligraphy, and, to be fair, I haven’t seen many adverts that I’ve felt inspired by. Is it my jaded old brain or the new swathe of boring adverts that are to blame? Bit of both I reckon. Also I have a tendency to be scrolling through my iPad whilst the adverts are on so maybe I should pay more attention?

Anyhow, here is an old advert post from 2011.

Due to the sluggish financial market the Halifax staff have little to do. They are under strict instruction to only authorise two mortgages this year and can only lend to people who don’t need loans. The financial advisers have all been made redundant and now the entire business is propped up by the canteen staff who have diversified by setting up a radio station in the basement of an NCP car park in Buttocks Booth just off Lumbertubs Lane. They broadcast daily, via telegraphic transfer, to five mountain goats on a farm in Southwold, Suffolk.
Scottish widow Sandy and Co-operative Carol provide the morning entertainment with a breakfast show. They are a tight team; they have a mutual interest in investing extra digits in their hedge funds and have bonded over unit banking. Alas, they are so enamoured by one another that they have failed to notice the potential threat of a hostile takeover bid from tea boy, Derek. He has coveted their breakfast slots from afar and, in an effort to remove the women from the helm he has sabotaged Sandy’s liquid assets. He completes the arm’s length transaction by passing Sandy her mug. The mug handle breaks causing hot tea to spill across the mixing desk. Carol and Sandy are unfazed by life’s little dramas. They have each other and therefore the accelerated depreciation is negligible. They smile sweetly and, still laughing, still singing from the same spreadsheet, they tell Derek that life is better with a beaver.

And to finish on a topical note a little gilded insult from Lulu’s suggestion on a previous post,

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Trump?

NEXT TIME: Under the weight of all the books, the chair breaks, leading Ms Scarlet to enrol on a chair restoration course where she meets a man in a bobble hat who offers her a hobnob and a cup of tea from his tartan themed thermos flask….

Friends, Romans, Countrymen……

….lend me your wallets….

Old blogging chum Gyppo Byard has designed an Insult Generator, and it works!!! It is fabulous, I used it this morning to yell at the telly. AND, our friends in the US seem to love it too. With this in mind I have come up with a cunning plan to shore up the British bank vaults…. yes, I am stealing Mr Byard’s generator and will be opening The British Insult Shop on Etsy. I am positive that my US chums will be clamouring at my door wanting me to pen an insult for them. Think about it – the pound has fallen so you can get more insults to the dollar. I will also be offering the luxury version – The Gilded Insult. I will be away talking percentages with Mr Byard and working on designs, but for now, here is a preliminary sketch….

calligraphy-British-insult

Nigel Farage?

Please wish me well with this new venture.
Sx

Another Book on a Chair

I thought I would share the view from my bathroom. I was fully dressed when I took this photograph – it is a bit fuzzy because I was trying to zoom in on the flax fields. Yes, I sometimes sit in my bath and pretend these are fields of lavender and that I’m in France.

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A Bathroom with a view….

And here is another picture of a book on a chair seeing as the book on the chair in my previous post proved so popular. I have decided that ‘A book on a chair’ is my new thing. This is The Illusionists by Rosie Thomas – a jolly romp through Victorian London theatre land. As I’m reading I am envisioning Clark Gable in the lead role alongside Warwick Davis and Jenna Coleman, plus my envisioning is in black and white and was made in 1939. I am on page 284 (of 513) and the obligatory reference to Jack the Ripper has just turned up.

rosie-thomas-the-illusionists-review-2016

Book on chair…

Meanwhile, I have finished this. I am not happy with it. It is suffering from Kolner Miniatum pucker…. meaning the surface of the gold is wrinkly; this is probably because I applied the miniatum too thickly – or because I didn’t breathe on it correctly and therefore introduced unnecessary moisture to the surface before applying the leaf. Ack. This is a fuzzy photo to deliberately disguise my shortcomings.

gilded-word-graffiti-miniatum-epic-fail-2016-calligraphy

Finished….

I am happy with this though….

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Addressed….

Until next time when I will have another book on a chair.