The deed is done and I am home!! AND, I have dragged myself from the fainting chaise to bring you an exciting new post!!
Oh my goodness, that was a scary weekend!! What did I learn from my experience ‘teaching’ [crikey those guys knew more than me, who am I kidding?] via Zoom? I learnt quite a bit about what not to do with lighting – and that the silence of a crowd is the most baffling thing on earth. Anyhow, I did a bit of this….
….and once I got over my nerves I think it went okay – I have had some very kind feedback on Instagram. As previously mentioned – calligraphers are notoriously nice. Would I do it again? Ha! Probably not. Why not, I hear you scream – because a) I’m actually not supposed to talk at length because of my jaw issues – hell, I am still struggling with chewing, talking is simply adding insult to the injury, and b) My flipping awful South East London accent.
I watched and listened to some of the recording made of me demonstrating calligraphy. To put it simply, there is a vast disparity between the voice I use in my head and the voice that comes out of my mouth. In my head all the vowels and consonants are present, I speak clearly, I could almost be a BBC presenter. In reality – the vowels are rounded, some are complete circles, and, well, there are a lot of consonants missing in action. Unbearable. With this in mind, I am flirting with the idea of becoming entirely text based and giving up speech forever. I will still speak to the dog though, because he can’t read. I will save my jaw for eating food.
On the plus side, I can do a pretty mean Kate Nash impersonation.
You know how they say you should get out of your comfort zone every now and again? Well, at the end of February this is exactly what I will be doing. Erm…. I’m not sure how this happened, I blame the pandemic, BUT I have agreed to explain my calligraphy process to some lovely calligraphers via Zoom. Gulp. I know, crazy talk… I have been signed up by the European Pointed Pen Collective and details of my ‘course’ are HERE – soooo out of my comfort zone that it almost hurts! I’m sure I will be fine. Calligraphers are notoriously nice, AND THEY WILL forgive the squeaky voice, the peculiar accent, and hopefully for the hour they lose discussing where best to place a well turned tittle [tittle details are very important].
Anyhow, this is my big, scary news! What does this mean for my blog in February? Well I might put up some videos of me actually writing words, if WordPress is agreeable; and I might go missing in action for a bit as I will need to prepare; AND, I will probably also need some time on the fainting chaise with the smelling salts, or the gin, or the Diazepam….. IT WILL BE FINE – I am blind as a bat and can barely make out what the hell is going on on Zoom with or without my glasses! [This is a good thing]
So in February expect a bit more of this:-
Finally – Sunday Music!! I’ve chosen this, cos Jon gave me an ear worm.
I bring pictures! I bring calligraphy! I bring tidings of joy! I bring a couple of heartfelt messages! I bring a toaster; a cuddly toy; a can of baked beans, and several vintage maps of Blackpool on a sunny afternoon. Never say I bring you nothing. But be aware that my hands are full.
Firstly, as promised, here are a couple of my Halloween collages:-
And a little calligraphy:-
My heartfelt messages:-
1) If you are a nighttime jaw clencher [bruxer] then NEVER EVER sleep on your back! Don’t even dream about it. It could possibly bring you no end of excruciatingly painful problems. And ruin your teeth.
2) Over the past two months I have become aware of some unusual activity in my blog stats, as in hits on old personal posts that rarely get read after they’ve been published and commented on. Posts featuring calligraphy are always popular, but the personal ones – not so much – years can go by before some poor soul alights on one of those, but recently they have been much sought after. At first I was flattered! Yay, somebody loves me! And then I stopped taking the drugs, and wondered if someone was profiling me for nefarious purposes? If so then please note that this blog is a minefield of misinformation, the truth is that I am 37 years old, I am French [hence the surname: Blue], and I live with five cats on an Alpaca farm somewhere near Newcastle. Just so you know.
3) If you are not profiling me for nefarious purposes and you are actually Aidan Turner, then don’t be a stranger – give me a call! My email address is right there!! There on the front page!!! Oh, for goodness sake HERE – at the bottom of the page!
Shall we have some Sunday Music? Why not? I have just finished watching The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix and now want to download the soundtrack.
….until WordPress took away the option to use the Classic Editor for writing posts. Where has it gone??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Hasn’t life been difficult enough lately without having to navigate newfangled formats??? Eff it.
Meanwhile, in the calm serene world of Ms Blue, she is still waiting for her hospital appointment to have a tooth extraction – it has already been cancelled once and she is fighting the very real possibility of becoming a codeine addicted raddled anorexic [kidding-ish]. The good news is that the toothache has subsided due to the death of said tooth – it just feels a bit weird instead of radiating complete agony. Thankfully the codeine is no longer needed although it is still difficult to eat.
Distraction techniques have featured some of this:-
Yes, I signed up for a Halloween card exchange on Instagram. I had a bit of a fiasco with my postage stamps due to my inability to add up properly. Being able to add up helps if you want to use swanky vintage stamps when sending cards to places such as the USA, Australia, and Canada. Sigh. I am now out of vintage stamps. I don’t have a stamp to my name. I will slap some pics up of the cards I made after they’ve reached their destinations – if they ever make it!
Yep, as well as postage stamps galore there was also collage! Of course there was.
Other distractions featured listening to very loud music whilst being ironic:
I have another hospital appointment booked for next week. I shall let you know what happens – or you’ll be able to hear my screams, one or the other.
Oh yay – I’ve found Classic Editor again!!! There is a God.
It had been many weeks since I had last posted on my internationally acclaimed Wonky-Words blog. Why had I let my blogging prowess slide? Was I afraid that my legions of fans had abandoned me? Was it because I had too much to say and couldn’t fit it all into the white posting box? Or was I simply giving my readership time to savour my previous witterings?
It was none of the above. Sadly my time had been consumed by watching the pandemic death graphs, I had convinced myself that should my eyes waver, even for a second, then the graphs would shoot upwards and kill everyone – it was, after all, my singular vigilance that kept the UK graphs on a steady decline. It was an arduous task, but I was committed and dilligent in my determination to lower the figures, and not let any snippet of Covid news pass me by. And then, on the 15th June I got bored and decided to commit myself to something else instead.
I turned my head away from the graphs, switched off the news; started reading a book; looked out across the meadows; marvelled at the dancing flamingos on a nearby millpond; watched a couple of good films; started taking multi-vitamins; realised my tinnitus was easier to ignore when I stopped masking it with noise; and I remembered that I was a great artist of considerable merit.
And so I returned to my turret at the bottom of the garden, where, for many hours, I toiled over vintage documents; read previous blog posts; dabbled with specialist inks and papers; sampled fine whisky; so that I could bring my loyal readers an untimely art piece entitled: The Lost Trevor – A combination of vintage imagery and previous words.
Finally I had some artwork to slap up on my blog….
I shall leave you to enjoy. BUT, I hope to bring more thrilling, yet possibly random, words to this neglected blog next week.
You see what I did there? Okay, so I am no longer the hostess with the mostess trolley on a Sunday, but instead I will be here on a Friday bringing you….GLORIOUS….stuff! All sorts of stuff, the stuff that you’d rather shove in a kitchen drawer and ignore, but you never know, one day it might come in handy.
There will be this sort of stuff:-
There will be calligraphy….
There will be vague witterings taken from my autobiography, of which I seldom speak, and of course there will be music!!!
I heard this the other day, I was watching Just Go With It because I needed something to send me to sleep. It worked a treat, but when I woke up towards the end of the film, this was playing:
And I thought, yay, that’ll be great for Sunday Music, forgetting that I no longer do the Sunday Music thing…
So, anyhow, whatever, expect STUFF from me on a Friday. There may even be a vague reference to a map next week.
This post was brought to you in a rush by Scarlet Blue.