Tag Archives: calligraphy uk

Loopy Letters – The Journey Continues….

“What have you done to the Loopy Letters website?” Screamed Charmaine via a text message.
I sighed, and tossed my iPhone into a nearby plant pot.
“Too much faff”, I muttered to myself.
It was okay for Charmaine and her modern ways, she was, at this very moment, sunning herself in the South of France and languishing in luxury on the proceeds of her inky misdeeds. I knew this because she had plastered the evidence all over her Instagram account. I, on the other hand, was staring through a grubby window at the relentless Devon murk and was questioning my commitment to the Loopy Letter project.

Question 1

How many letters have I actually written since November?

a) 20
b) None
c) 100
d) 1000
e) French

Question 2

Why have I written so much?

a) Calligraphy is my lifeblood; I live to sling ink, it is all that I know, without calligraphy I would be a withered husk of a person. Calligraphy is the only thing keeping me alive; every morning I skip to my studio as though I am skipping through a dewy meadow strewn with daisies and buttercups with nothing else on my mind other than letter formation and the universal line of beauty; life would be meaningless without letters…blah, blah, blah, etc, etc….

b) I had nothing else to do.

Question 3

More pertinently, why have I written so little??????

a) Sigh. Do I really have to answer this?
b) It was Winter.
c) Christmas happened.
d) My boiler broke down.
e) It was very cold and my hand fell off.

Question 4

Do I still intend to complete the Loopy Letter Project?

a) Yes!!! Yay!!! Can’t wait to get on with it!!! My nibs are poised and ready to blast off!!! Go me!! #girlboss.
b) Yeah, go on then.
c) Yes. I have closed down the Loopy Letters website and moved it to Wonky Words so that I am more accountable regarding moving the project along.

After questioning my commitment to the Loopy Letters project I decided that I would write a blog post to let those who were waiting expectantly by their letter boxes know exactly what was going on. It was only fair. I also decided to post some pictures of one of my failures… just so they’d know I’d been trying….

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Well, that doesn’t look so bad….

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Ah…. didn’t see that coming…

Right, I’m off now to skip through the daisies….

Happy Birthday…..

…..to me…..

Yep, it’s that time of the year again when I am allowed to sit on the sofa all day and eat cake. I did have a fabulous post planned… but I seem to have lost it.

Meanwhile, isn’t this photograph peculiar?

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Old Benson and Hedges Advert?

This one is not so peculiar… further gilding experiments with silver leaf…

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Silver Leaf

Apologies for this rubbish post. But it is my birthday.

Coming soon:- Charmaine finds out what it means to be British; Aunt Scarlet makes an International faux pas; and we finally find out what was in the picnic basket that Charmaine left in the hallway several posts ago…

gilded-letter-t-contemporary-lettering-and-modern-calligraphy-uk

The Dramatic Entrance….

Charmaine has returned home from her stint at being a genius crossword compiler. Apparently there was an ‘incident’ at Cousin Windsor’s [a right Batarde] that she will not speak of. Knowing my Cousin Windsor, trying to forget about it is the best way forward, and I will not press her further for information. With her she brought a picnic basket, which upon arrival she dumped in the hallway before ascending to her rightful place in my attic. Such a pity that in her absence the attic sprang a leak, so it came as no surprise to hear her shouting, screaming, and possibly stamping a bit before stomping back downstairs to disturb my revelry by bursting into my studio in an overtly stroppy manner.

‘What is the problem, child?’ I asked, barely looking up from whatever I was looking at.

‘The roof is leaking, all my clothes are soaked through and there is bird poo all over my vintage bakelite collection. And I bet you haven’t paid this?’

Charmaine stood in front of my desk waving a piece of paper. It was the electricity bill. I smiled wanly as the lights dimmed and then went out.

‘Obvously not,’ I said.

‘There’s nothing else for it, Aunt Scarlet, you’ll have to reopen the wedding calligraphy business, we can’t carry on living like this.’

And I said, ‘NO, NO, NO!’

I sighed, she did have a point, I had rather let things slide over the past five months, and it was true the roof was leaking, the paint was peeling and, much much worse than this, we were running out of gruel. Thankfully, at the back of my mind I had a spare plan.
I looked Charmaine up and down and considered how much money I could get for her if I advertised her dextrous skills on the right type of Internet site. She could look quite fetching in the dark, it suited her skin tone.

‘NO, NO, NO!’ Shrieked Charmaine as if reading my blog post over my shoulder as I typed.

‘Well, what do you suggest we do?’

‘These,’ said Charmaine, stabbing my latest creations with her stumpy index finger, ‘flog these, everybody loves a bit of gold and a bit of bling.’

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Flog these???

‘How?’

‘Don’t worry, Aunt Scarlet, leave the marketing to me, I have ideas, and Asmodeus will help.’

With the hazy image of Asmodeus hanging in the air, Charmaine flounced out of my studio in a purposeful, determined, #girlboss sort of way. Who the hell was Asmodeus? I shook my head dismissively. The girl had obviously gone a bit peculiar, but still, her positive ‘can do’ attitude had made me feel uneasy. Cousin Windsor had obviously instilled these ideas, ideas that were well above her station, and possibly above the steeple at the end of the lane, which was very high above indeed. I shuddered in my seat and felt a little faint because if she was successful it would mean that I would [heaven forbid] have to work.

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Work in progress…

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Now c ‘ere…

A Brand Spanking New Year

Ihave news!!! I have located Charmaine, after months of traipsing through the internet, following up sightings of her peculiar take on the ancient art of calligraphy, I have located her on a cryptic crossword site run by my cousin Windsor (a right Batarde!). She is masquerading as some sort of genius and giving out clues to fiendishly difficult crosswords like jelly babies. She is also appearing in pantomime as Cinderella at the end of Wigan pier.
I have sent her a letter urging her to return home soon as, with the promise of improved living conditions and use of the black and white telly on Sundays. I have also signed her up for some proper modern calligraphy lessons in London, which I hope she will review for us here. I am sure she will find this offer irresistible as she has had her eye on my black and white telly for some time now.

Meanwhile, there is no news of Harold.

And here is some calligraphy related stuff….

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Four gilded letters…

 

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‘t’

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‘g’

My resolution for 2016 is to glue more 23 carat gold on paper in a meaningful way.

Happy New Year!!!!!!! I will be pissed later and will probably making gruesome advances to all and sundry – apologies in advance.

Scribbly Calligraphy

I am no longer going to write posts. Have decided to slap up pics in an instant way deprived of any explanation. Nobody reads anymore anyhoo. I could write penis, penis, penis and nobody would be any the wiser so long as there is a picture to distract them.
Here is a crap picture of some italic variation wot I did at the weekend.

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Going…..

Tuddlepop,

Sx