Dear Doris….

Remember Doris from the previous post… you know, the woman who was chucking things in a skip? Well, there’s a letter on its way to her… and relates to this post: How to Make Money from Art

May 2007

Dear Doris,

I am so sorry to hear that you have been suffering lately. Divorce can be a painful, bitter experience that can leave a person feeling bruised, empty, worthless, rejected, and insecure. May I suggest that you enrol on one of my visionary workshops?
All of my workshops encourage personal enrichment and spiritual enhancement, and are specifically designed to bring harmony where there is discord, faith where there is doubt, and hope when you’re feeling nothing but despair.
For your specific needs I am pleased to recommend: How to Express the Sound of a Vacuum Cleaner through the Medium of Paint – no previous artistic ability necessary! This workshop is person-centred and proactively designed to stimulate the development of personal empowerment. On completion of this workshop 92% of participants report an increase in general wellbeing, confidence, and light-headedness, and all participants are entitled to a 5% discount* on any further workshops offered by the Viridian Venus.
The next presentation of this workshop will be on Saturday 16th June at the Viridian Venus Gallery from 12 noon to 5pm, a deposit of £150 will be required in advance to secure your placement, and a further £150 on the day. Refreshments will be provided, but please bring your own vacuum!!

Look forward to seeing you soon!

Your friend,

Moonchild

*Early Bird Rate – Full payment 30 days in advance to claim discount.

I have been trying to write this letter out in copperplate on Crown Mill textured paper. It is lovely paper, but it does hinder my flow. It’s a slog to be honest, so I might scrap this…

copperplate-letter-writing-uk

….and write it out in modern calligraphy. One of the reasons I started this project was to help me determine which of my hobbies I prefer, would it be creative writing, or calligraphy? I only have so much time and I’d like to dedicate myself to just one major hobby. My feeling is that creative writing wins….SO… I will continue with these letters…. but they might all be in modern calligraphy – far quicker, and less soul-destroying. I have decided that I loathe my copperplate!

I am feeling sad. Sad about lots of things. It’s okay. My parents were whipped into hospital at the weekend. For the past few years they’ve had ongoing medical issues causing them to be regularly admitted to hospital. I feel like a useless daughter. Perhaps I need a life affirming workshop?

21 thoughts on “Dear Doris….

  1. dinahmow

    I do hope Doris stumps up the readies for this workshop.
    I can personally attest to the increase of light-headedness when I left the recent workshop I attended.
    (Also some lightness in the pocket area as I am still awaiting my early-payment discount, but i do understand the difficulties with the postal system.0

    Reply
  2. Scarlet Post author

    Yes, Dinah, it’d be interesting to see what Doris has to say about the workshop… I’m sure she’ll write a letter… possibly a letter of complaint!
    Sx

    Reply
  3. LẌ

    “I loathe my copperplate”

    I arrived expecting vuvuzela news and instead find this shocking revelation! But … but .. your copperplate is so elegant!

    PS: Best wishes to your parents.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Apologies, Mr Lax! I wrote the vuvuzela comment last thing at night… had a funny dream… and then completely forgot. I will dig that old post out in time for the World Cup!
      Thank you for your best wishes!
      Sx

      Reply
  4. batarde

    Oh dear. I had a feeling that something of the sort might be in the offing … thinking of you.

    About that paper: I think it’s meant for the oversized fountain pen, extra broad nib and ink at a guinea a millilitre brigade. It’s lovely, luxurious crackly stuff, but downright spiteful if you write with anything remotely sharp. Which makes your copperplate all the more impressive, so please go easy on yourself about that – and everything else.

    B

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Mr Batarde!! I think I must like the self torture…. I’ll be trying to write 3mm x-height copperplate on handmade paper next with a Gillott 303. I think perhaps I will go the Rhodia route and give myself a break!
      Sx

      Reply
  5. lisleman

    So these vacuums don’t suck the soul from you? Maybe I would vacuum more if I was enlightened by my vacuum cleaner. Will your workshop accommodate a shop-vac? I do have an orange one with a mighty roar. It might run in the next election.

    Wishes for a quick recovery of your parents.

    Reply
  6. llcooljoe

    It’s depressing when our parents get to an age where they spend most of their time needing medical attention. I’m not sure how this makes you a useless daughter though!

    I have two vacuum cleaners, one for upstairs and one for down. One’s a Dyson and the other one is a Sebo. I was only thinking today how much I hate the Dyson. I know they are meant to be the best, but give me a old fashioned dust bag any day. Clearing out the Dyson with a bent hanger isn’t my idea of fun.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      I should visit more, Joey. You were a saint with your mother. I get to the hospital and get fidgety and I feel like a spare part. I know they are pleased to see me, but after 5 minutes they fall asleep.
      I want a G-tech… the disposal of the fluff and stuff looks clean 🙂
      Sx

      Reply
  7. eroswings

    I’m sorry to hear about your parents. If they’re up to it, the next time you visit them, ask them about their childhood, long forgotten relatives, and any memories they might like to recall. Learn and listen to your parents’ story, learn your family history, then write it out in calligraphy, be the keeper of your family’s heritage. Talking is good for both patients and their families. It will bring them closer and reinforce the bonds of love and will to live life fully.
    …*.(@)*(@).*
    *.(@).(@).(@).*
    …*.(@)*(@).*
    ………~|~
    ………\_/
    ………(_)
    ………(_)

    Wishing you the best and good health, a speedy recovery, and much strength to you and your loved ones. Take care.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Mr Swings! My mum can’t speak since she had a stroke in 2015… but she has already imparted the family history. There is a secret in her side of the family – part of me thinks I should find out the truth so that she will know it before she dies. The other part of me fears that by finding the truth I would be opening a can of worms for other, distant members of the family. I probably haven’t got long to make this decision.
      Sx

      Reply
  8. Exile on Pain Street

    All good wishes to Ma and Pa for a speedy recovery. And I hope your fog lifts soon. I don’t like it when you’re blue. No, I don’t.

    I’m not at all clear on what constitutes ‘modern’ calligraphy. Please continue both that and the writing. We enjoy it and I’m sure it does you a world of good as well.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Monsieur Pain! You are very kind…. I have slapped up a more cheerful post from 2010. One day I will write a post demonstrating the difference between modern and traditional calligraphy.
      Sx

      Reply
  9. Inexplicable DeVice

    I like your calligraphy. And I like your creative writing. But which one is better? There’s only one way to find out: . . . FIIIIIIGHT!!!

    No. Hang on. I forgot that Harry Hill leaves you cold. Besides, like you, I’d pick the creative writing in modern calligraphy. With coffee cup rings!

    I hope your parents don’t have to stay in hospital too long (if they’re still there and not already home). Best of health to them. And you’re obviously a good daughter otherwise you wouldn’t worry.

    Reply
  10. Scarlet Post author

    You are kind as well, Mr Devine!!
    And you are right, Mr Devine…. coffee rings! Of course!! Thank you for the reminder.
    Sx

    Reply
  11. Z

    I’ve felt responsible for the death of my mother for fifteen years. i wasn’t, of course, but she wasn’t able to agree to morphine and I did, and she died that night. I wasn’t useless or guilty but I’ll always feel I took a few days of (painful) life from her. I hope things go gently for your parents, whatever happens, and you aren’t a useless daughter. Sometimes, we are helpless, but that isn’t our fault.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you for your comment, Z. It seems that most of us go through this guilt. No, you weren’t to blame for your mother’s death at all. I can relate to how you feel about it though. I definitely feel helpless, and overwhelmed. I always feel that everybody else is better equipped than me to deal with these things – this isn’t true. We are all muddling through it.
      Thank you for making me realise that I’m helpless, and not so much useless.
      Sx

      Reply
  12. Pat Mackay

    I seem to be adept at getting lost. Laughing out loud at your vulva and then stopped short at your sadness. We should all give up guilt- it serves no purpose at all and your parents have each other – never underestimate the value of that – and a caring daughter. Take are of yourself,xoxoxox

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Hello, Pat! It’s just that you’re not so familiar with WordPress, sometimes I wish I’d stayed on Blogger.
      Anyhow, thank you for finding me here and for your kind words… and I am doing my best with the guilt. I’ve been trying to find my way around the care system, but it’s such a knotty mess, and it’s given me a headache… but I know my dad won’t be able to make head nor tail of it so I’m going to have to tackle all the contradicting information again and hope I find some sense in it.
      Sx

      Reply

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