How To Make Money From Art

2nd November 2006

When I had at last mastered the art of bottling I focussed my energies on artistic creativity; I retreated to my purpose built garret at the bottom of the garden and awaited inspiration. Crawling through the back passage of my emotions, I re-experienced hideous moments of my life that are probably best forgotten, it was a long painful journey, not without misgivings, but I was determined to suffer for my art, if I had to lie on a bed of nails and walk bare foot over burning coals, then so be it. Finally, when the sun was parallel to Pluto and Uranus was rising, my work was done. Ten bottles of feeling stood before me and I was a shadow of my former self, but there was no time for me to rest on my laurels, I had to show these masterpieces to the world….



‘Viridian Venus’ is a small local gallery run by Moonchild Etherington -Smythe, who in her own words is a ‘Visionary Artist’, to quote further, her works are ‘a product of innate personal vision’. In Moonchild’s case, these visions manifest themselves as childlike impressions of angels. Appearing well-groomed at all times, she strikes the perfect balance between ethnic charm and middle England authority…


Bottled Temptation

Moonchild was not overly keen on my bottles, she exclaimed that my soul was barren, that it was imperative that I release my bottled feelings immediately if I was to ever re-connect with my inner child. All I needed to do was sign up for one of her Visionary Workshops, it would only cost £500 and she would teach me to express the sound of a vacuum cleaner through the medium of paint.
I declined, I left her gallery leaving her to re-arrange her crystals; I was worried, confused, slightly disturbed whilst at the same time seriously impressed by her visionary commercial sense.

11 thoughts on “How To Make Money From Art

  1. Scarlet Post author

    Bonjour, Mr Dip! It is indeed… and also disposable!
    Google translate: Bonjour, M. Dip! Il est en effet … et également disponible!

  2. 63mago

    I could swear that I met Moonchild in one or another “artistic” village around here. She now and then wears blue “ethno”-clothes ? And otherwhile there is a wiff of incense cones, but only when she’s particular melancholic or reminiscent of her times in Matala. One of her daughters is doing shamanic healing in the woods.

    1. Scarlet Post author

      There are many Moonchilds…. they are as ubiquitous as Sharons and Tracys… and don’t we all reach for the incense when cloaked with melancholy? Or vodka, or whiskey. It’s all Greek to me.

  3. dinahmow

    Moonchild and her ethereal children (usually known as Sky, or sometimes Sunshine) do seem to travel widely. But I’m sure, if her crystals lose their aura, her hyphen will protect her. 🙂

  4. Exile on Pain Street

    Please tell me that Moonchild Etherington-Smythe is a pseudonym. There’s no way someone is running around with that moniker, is there? How precious. There’s an actress here in NY named Tiffany who spells her name Typhanie. It’s too much.

    1. Scarlet Post author

      I think that if you Google ‘Moonchild Etherington-Smythe’ that you will end up here or, HERE. So I reckon she must be a figment of my imagination.
      Crikey, I don’t remember putting this on my old blog… and my niece…. one day I must let my niece take over my blog again, she was so much more fun than me!

  5. Pingback: Dear Doris…. | Wonky Words

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