The Big Idea (Tales from Luddley-cum-Mogwash part 5)



As Sebastian sat huddled in the bus shelter, drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Campari, hiding from marauding Mogwashian Mimers; Moonchild Etherington-Smythe was conversing with her ironing board and was expressing ironing boardness onto canvas. As Taramind Dewhurst took delivery of twelve pink sponges decorated with assorted plugs and plugholes and puzzled over the instability of representation; I was sitting at my kitchen table next to an ancient Rayburn, in my cosy country kitchen designing a website as an exhibition space for my bottles.

Although viewing life from different perspectives, what Sebastian, Moonchild, Taramind and myself all shared was belief in our own personal vision. At long last I had conceived what I considered to be ‘The Big Idea’. In my hands I held a glittering bottle, a smorgasbord of treasured trinkets, a bottle filled with priceless family heirlooms. This was a bottle of ‘Greed’. It was time (1.05am) to hide this bottle within the vicinity of Luddley-cum-Mogwash . . . time to put my cunning plan into action . . . of course it’d been done before, but what the hell . . .

Overwhelmed with gleeful delight at my sheer brilliance, I buried the bottle of Greed. It was sometime later that the fatal flaw, or to be more precise, flaws in my plan became apparent to me. In my excitement I had neglected to tell anyone of my fiendish scheme, furthermore, even if I had, I had left no indication as to how the bottle could be located. I hung my head in shame, how could I have been so stupid?



And so was born the cunning plan within the cunning plan. Via my excellent website I would leave my faithful loyal viewers a series of ingenious clues, engaging them in a fascinating, insightful, often informative, and some might say challenging journey, which would eventually lead to the ultimate reward, the bottle of Greed . . .

29 November 2006

11 thoughts on “The Big Idea (Tales from Luddley-cum-Mogwash part 5)

  1. Jon

    Well, this is getting quite thrilling. A new Eldorado, a new “Quest of the Grail”. “The Lords of the Bottle”, “The Scarlet Code” or something like that. I hope the Illuminati won’t find out about this otherwise they’re going to screw up everything.

    Uh-oh! Do I see a change of avatar? The “grumpy” avatar, eh? I hope it’s not too bad. Take care of yourself, ma très chère.

    Shall we wear some protective gear whenever we come over here?


    1. Scarlet Post author

      It is a thrilling tale, Jon! Sort of 🙂
      I’ve been messing around with my Gravator… I like this one with WordPress… it is my WordPress serious face. Maybe I should find a new pic…


  2. IDV

    Consider me enthralled!

    On a different note (although also enthralling), I have just realised that Jasper Fforde’s writing reminds me very much of your own. I think he must be a fan of yours.


      1. IDV

        Ooh, I’ve finished The Eyre Affair, and it’s very good! I don’t feel like I need to read Jane Eyre, now. I think you’ll like it very much when you do find time to sit down and read it.


    1. Scarlet Post author

      Ha Ha!!! No, Taramind is not Damien!!
      You will have to read to the end to find out what happened to the bottles… don’t worry there is an end…!!


  3. Pingback: Mapped!!! | Wonky Words

Say hello and stuff.....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.