How to make friends and influence people (Tales from Luddley-cum-Mogwash, part 2)


For Sale

My newly acquired status as a forlorn, slightly crazed misfit with a bottle fixation, at last endeared me to the bosom of village life, and I became a prime candidate for Sebastian’s care in the community initiative – a vehicle for him to explore the potential creative diversity among the villagers of Luddley-cum-Mogwash. To showcase our talents the first village fete for over three hundred years was organised in the grounds of No.3 Mogwash Mansions, a mock tudor art deco semi to be found at the edge of the village near the skate park.
Prioritising my position, Sebastian gave me a trestle table set back from the rest of the fete – just down wind of the port-a-loo, so that I could display my bottles in an area that, in his own words, ‘would highlight the strong pervasive feel of alienation inherent within my work, encouraging the viewer towards sympathetic generosity’.
From this I could only deduce that he was finally on my side, obviously finding my work as life enhancing and worthy of promotion as I did. I welcomed his support and flashed him a come hither smile; unfortunately, at this very same moment, he must have gotten an insect in his eye as he appeared to recoil in terror in response to my friendly overture.
Evening entertainment was provided by George, a mild mannered post office manager with a large gnome collection, who for this one night made a miraculous transformation into Georgina, a dangerous diva with an unparalleled talent for outdoor operatics. With an ear splitting heartbreaking rendition of Don’t Stop Believin’, he brought the day’s events to a close.
Finally I felt as if I belonged.

9 thoughts on “How to make friends and influence people (Tales from Luddley-cum-Mogwash, part 2)

  1. 63mago

    Oh Georgina …
    I hope nobody tripped over the tape recorder’s power line while she reached her climax – ?
    And as I learn Taramind did not grace the event with her attendance ? How sad. But Sebastian clearly has a potential for development.

    You’ll find me at the cake bar.

    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nothing can stop Georgina at full throttle, she is a legend in her own living room, and a giant amongst gnomes! As they say, you had to be there.
      Poor Sebastian, it was all looking so promising…

  2. 63mago

    Don’t be sad, Sebastian will find his way. A start could be to carry a nice glass to the bus stop. And there are always the gnomes – he could venture into Bambies per chance.

    1. Scarlet Post author

      That would be superb casting, Mr Pain!
      May I take this opportunity to thank my blogging chums for sticking with this torrid tale. I am grateful to you. I know that I am being horribly self-indulgent by uploading all this old stuff…but, I think it’s something I need to do.

      1. Scarlet Post author

        Yes, it is!! But I’m aware that these bottled ramblings are for a niche audience… I have already been unfollowed by someone who was possibly more interested in calligraphy and has gone off in a huff 😦
        This blog will revert back to calligraphy eventually… but not quite in the same presentational format as it was before 🙂

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