Category Archives: Art

A Portrait of the Universe….

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…..on a chair!!!

For Mr Devine. I hope he has received it by now. I posted it [via a red post box] on Thursday, so I’m guessing he should be, at this very moment in time, overwhelmed by the magnitude of his mail. Or, the postman has dropped it in a puddle and he is now drying out the universe on a radiator whilst eating a ham sandwich. I send these things out and hope for the best, but I do keep a photographic record just in case there is a hideous incident along the way.

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YES!!! The Universe!!! Now available…. ON A CHAIR!!!!!!

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The USS Enterprise….ON A CHAIR!!!

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A CHAIR!!!!!!!

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…sent with an explanatory note….

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….and an appropriate stamp, featuring Ms Norma.

I know that this is probably not the most visually stimulating art, but I so enjoyed making it! I enjoyed making it so much that I even bothered to hunt down an appropriate stamp. I intend to make more, I intend to make more abstract versions of my blogging experience! Yes, the digital made real! Some I will send out to terrify delight a chosen victim recipient, and others I will keep to decorate the downstairs loo. Lots to do then!

Meanwhile, March was a sad month. Many thanks to everyone who left supportive comments on my previous post.

Decades Go by….Rinse, Repeat.

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Between us, Jon and I have cobbled together a new meme, it is called ‘A Decade Ago’ or #adecadeago, which is exactly the same as ‘A Decade Ago’, but without spaces, and has a fancy hashtag slapped in front of it. To take part all you have to do is shimmy through your blog to 2009 and see what you were doing 10 years ago. For example, I was doing this: X-Rated. Yes, I was taking part in a meme!! I was collecting letters, talking about my favourite things, and waxing lyrical about udders, or some such. Mr XL’s comment summed it up best when he said: It’s like a bad Scrabble hand that you’ve made a triple score with, or something.…

In the spirit of favourite things, I have decided that my 2019 is going to be all about FAVOURITE THINGS, and recycling, I know! Hot topic! And I am going to do my part by recycling old blog comments, and bits of old blog. For example, in response to my comment box HERE, I have made this:-

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Repeating Patterns…

It is called: Repeating Patterns 149, and is made from scraps of paper from my studio; a vintage book; and as previous described, old blog comments. It amuses me that I can take what was originally digital and turn it into something with a vintage aesthetic. And I love making these.
So, from the top….

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Little Scarlet….

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Many thanks to Mr Modo, in the guise of Mrs Westicott, for the comments! He is long gone from the blogs, but now he has been immortalised.

It might be your turn next, if you’ve ever left a comment on any of my blogs…

Promises, promises…..

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Well, I did say I would return this week [or was it last week? I have no idea.] Life is complex at the minute, but I would like to re-engage with my blog friends. I will ease myself back gently.

Firstly, I took this pic last week whilst walking Sidney…yes, I do call him Sidney now… and I thought of Mr Devine and his epic coastal travels, which I have always envied – all those cormorants and groynes and lashings of ocean – it is just not fair, BUT, I do have a lot of this sort of thing going on….

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Morning walkies…

Secondly, I have been faffing around with collage and calligraphy. I have so many scraps, including scraps of stories…. so I thought I’d make some jolly storyboards to send to people. You might recognise the tiny text, it is from an old blog post that had nothing to do with being down in a quarry.

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Toodlepippinggrippingstuff,

Sxx

Calligraphy Tip no. 58

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You are a silly old bat, Aunt Scarlet!’ Charmaine yelled down from the attic.
I frowned and considered getting some further insulation so that I couldn’t hear the girl whenever she got in a tis.
‘You don’t need a reservoir on a Mitchell broad edge nib!’ she continued, ‘All you need to do is drop some ink in the dimple on the top of the nib and it writes fine.’
I frowned some more, but I was so concerned by her revelation that I roused myself from my chaise longue and wandered into my light and airy studio to test her theory…

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Dimple on the top side of the Mitchell nib.

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The dimple filled with ink

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It works!!!

I frowned some more. I had always wondered what that damn dimple was for. The girl was correct and the only downside to this technique was that the dimple did not hold as much ink as a conventional underside reservoir, thus it needed to be filled more often. This didn’t bother me as I believed it would be an easier for beginners who struggled with the reservoir.

‘And pray tell me Charmaine, from where did you find this tip?’ I shouted up to the attic.
‘Fink it was from Instagram… fink it was Cheryl Dyer’s feed.’

I nodded to myself as I had long been an admirer of Ms Dyer’s work [website HERE] and it didn’t surprise me that she would know such useful things about the mysteries of calligraphy nibs.
I looked around my studio and feeling inspired I sat at my desk to continue working on my own little project…

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My latest masterpiece…. an extract from my favourite book.

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The Last Post

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No, not that sort of last post!! Good gracious! I have promised to publish a post every Wednesday. I am not going to break my promise, unless I am arrested. Or something worse. I am referring to the last post I published.

New commenter, Grouchy, asked: Would this be considered a short story, a serial, or a soap opera (in the works)? I will wait for the flan, but you may have the noodles.

I think this is a fair question, and not only does it apply to the last post, but also to this whole blog. And the truthful answer is: Yes.

And, in further fairness, this blog is a mess. With this in mind I have devised a short questionnaire to aid me with future posts. Please take time to consider each question carefully, the direction of this blog rests on your replies. My questions are numerous with alphabetical intent. Thank you.

1) Would you like me to continue with the Mogwash posts?

a) No, I have had enough of the Mogwash posts.

b) No, the Mogwash posts are far too confusing for readers who are unaware of the ongoing story.

c) No, the Mogwash posts are far too confusing for readers who are aware of the ongoing story.

d) Yes, I would like more Mogwash posts.

e) Yes, I have a crush on Sebastian.

f) Yes, I am hanging on your every word and am desperate to know what happens next.

2) Would you like me to let Charmaine out of the attic and, see more calligraphy?

a) No, I have no idea who Charmaine is.

b) What is calligraphy?

c) What nib does Charmaine use?

d) Yes, I would like to know how Charmaine is getting on with her calligraphy lessons.

e) Yes, but only if Harold is released as well.

f) Yes, I would like to see more calligraphy on this blog.

3) Would you like this blog to continue in a random, haphazard way?

a) Couldn’t care less.

b) No. This blog is a frustrating environment without any cohesive direction, or clear sense of purpose. The author is an unreliable narrator given to writing contrived, misleading, motiveless posts that are published in a non-linear fashion in an effort to appear innovative and challenging. The result of this pretentious drivel is a ramshackle blog space devoid of sense, meaning, or any kind of nourishing reading experience. Although I quite like the pictures.

c) No.

d) Yes.

e) Yes and No.

f) I like noodles.

4) If John has six balls; Emily has nine balls; Samantha has two lemons and a sixpence; Clive has a potato; Malcolm likes playing poker; Jane is a lush; Mary is beside herself, and Julian has delusions of grandeur; then which acclaimed literary author am I referencing?

a) Never.

b) Twelve.

Thank you for taking the time to fill in this questionnaire, the results of which will be analysed and rigidly adhered to.

An Extract from a newspaper article – November 2045

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…smashed the bottle open only to find a message that read:

To whom it may concern….

Please Mind The Gap.

St. Johnson was adamant that this message proved beyond doubt that the Bottle of Greed was merely a result of Blue’s imagination, and her affection for pseudo-intellectual flimflam. When confronted with St. Johnson’s accusations regarding her subterfuge, Blue was reported to have smiled wryly and hinted at the possibility of there being numerous Truths.

With the benefit of hindsight it is easy for us to mock the doubting St. Johnson, he was, after all, a catalyst character for many of Blue’s improbable plot twists, which saw him drunk and slumped in a bus shelter; performing robust Abba impersonations in the Mogwash Arms, or being arrested for assault. It is easy to understand why St. Johnson has spent so many years trying to discredit Blue, and why he was inspired to write the best selling pantomime script Please Can You Make it Wear Big Pants. And a Knitting Pattern Would Be Nice. Considering the animosity between the pair it came as something of a welcome surprise to see them reunited for the first time in more than 20 years at last night’s opening show.

Peripheral characters at the event included Taramind Dewhurst, Moonchild Etherington-Smythe and Mrs Fitzpatrick, who elbowed each other for paragraph space, and were as eager as the rest of the gathered crowd to hear….