pot-noodle-uk

The Last Post

No, not that sort of last post!! Good gracious! I have promised to publish a post every Wednesday. I am not going to break my promise, unless I am arrested. Or something worse. I am referring to the last post I published.

New commenter, Grouchy, asked: Would this be considered a short story, a serial, or a soap opera (in the works)? I will wait for the flan, but you may have the noodles.

I think this is a fair question, and not only does it apply to the last post, but also to this whole blog. And the truthful answer is: Yes.

And, in further fairness, this blog is a mess. With this in mind I have devised a short questionnaire to aid me with future posts. Please take time to consider each question carefully, the direction of this blog rests on your replies. My questions are numerous with alphabetical intent. Thank you.

1) Would you like me to continue with the Mogwash posts?

a) No, I have had enough of the Mogwash posts.

b) No, the Mogwash posts are far too confusing for readers who are unaware of the ongoing story.

c) No, the Mogwash posts are far too confusing for readers who are aware of the ongoing story.

d) Yes, I would like more Mogwash posts.

e) Yes, I have a crush on Sebastian.

f) Yes, I am hanging on your every word and am desperate to know what happens next.

2) Would you like me to let Charmaine out of the attic and, see more calligraphy?

a) No, I have no idea who Charmaine is.

b) What is calligraphy?

c) What nib does Charmaine use?

d) Yes, I would like to know how Charmaine is getting on with her calligraphy lessons.

e) Yes, but only if Harold is released as well.

f) Yes, I would like to see more calligraphy on this blog.

3) Would you like this blog to continue in a random, haphazard way?

a) Couldn’t care less.

b) No. This blog is a frustrating environment without any cohesive direction, or clear sense of purpose. The author is an unreliable narrator given to writing contrived, misleading, motiveless posts that are published in a non-linear fashion in an effort to appear innovative and challenging. The result of this pretentious drivel is a ramshackle blog space devoid of sense, meaning, or any kind of nourishing reading experience. Although I quite like the pictures.

c) No.

d) Yes.

e) Yes and No.

f) I like noodles.

4) If John has six balls; Emily has nine balls; Samantha has two lemons and a sixpence; Clive has a potato; Malcolm likes playing poker; Jane is a lush; Mary is beside herself, and Julian has delusions of grandeur; then which acclaimed literary author am I referencing?

a) Never.

b) Twelve.

Thank you for taking the time to fill in this questionnaire, the results of which will be analysed and rigidly adhered to.

21 thoughts on “The Last Post

  1. dinahmow

    Scarlet, I didn’t realise you knew how to get into my dashboard! But, now that you evidently have, you can see how muddled everything is so please sort me out as well when you give yourself a workover.
    By the way, I don’t seem to recall Sebastian??
    But my answer to question 4 is “not Louisa May Alcott”

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Oh yes, Dinah, everyone’s dashboard is an open book!
      So far it seems that our random approach is appreciated, and it is fine to continue in a muddle 🙂
      And you are correct regarding question 4.
      Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Indeed, Mr Mags, Old Knudsen always did have a fondness for bowling. Sigh.
      I am delighted with your answers and will be entering them on my spreadsheet.
      Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Yes, Mr Lax! You win! Again!! Your prize is to analyse my spreadsheet data, so far it includes a lot of ‘f’s and a couple of elegant flourishes.
      Sx

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      1. Grouchy

        I had hoped you found my answers as nonsensical as your questionnaire. My original comment was about other characters (entities) that I was not aware of from not reading your writings from the beginning.
        I am following you because one of your favorite movie choices is “Now Voyager”. Ahhhh, to wake up a swan.

        Carry on!

        Like

  2. Exile on Pain Street

    To hell with the readers. The ones caught unawares will just have to catch-up. Is that what Dickens asked when he serialized all his novels?

    Yeah, get more calligraphy up here. I like when you talk about your tips and nubs.

    You’ll just have to decide for yourself how you want to proceed. Don’t put that on us! Do what comes naturally!

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Monsieur Pain!! You are correct!! I will have to accept that I am a badly organised individual with a scatty head. I have a hunch that it will be business as usual 🙂
      Sx

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  3. IDV

    Ooh, I like answering questions – It saves having to think up a witty response!

    1. e & f – even though parts of c apply.
    2. e & f – although, before Charmaine & Harold are released, I’d like one or two more attic-based adventures.
    3. d but definitely not f
    4. b? Is this a reference to Tulip “Tubbs” Tattsyrup’s latest masterpiece?

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      To be honest, Mr Devine, I think parts of 1c apply to me as well!! Which is a little worrying. I am also drawn to the idea of more tales from he attic, so I will enter this on the spreadsheet for Mr Lax to analyse.
      Tulip “Tubbs” Tattsyrup 🙂 Quite possibly.
      Sx

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      1. IDV

        I love our visits to Mogwash, but I’m catastrophically clueless regarding the Clue-like calamities that occur (as I may once have mentioned?). Although, maybe Mr Lax’s spreadsheet will make things clearer for me?

        “Twelvety” by Tubbs – everything’s laid out in “lines and lines and lines!”

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