Oh, Charmaine!!!

Terrible news, Charmaine has abducted Harold! I am beside myself with worry. They were last seen having coffee in a Little Chef service station near Kettering on the A14, so I am packing my bags and going on a road trip to track them down. I may be some time.
I will continue to try to update this blog every Wednesday with news of my progress, but I think you’ll agree that blogging whilst driving up and down the length and breadth of Britain might be awkward, so apologies in advance for not keeping up with your blogs.
Meanwhile, here is some of Charmaine’s most recent colouring in… I miss her already, she was so handy with the crayons – I can still see her in my mind’s eye concentrating so hard not to crayon outside the edges of the lettering – her little lizard tongue poking out the corner of her mouth as her mono-brow knitted itself into a cardigan…. *sob*…..

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Smoke me a Kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!

Saw this….

….and thought of me.

Yes, when I was tiny I had dreams of being a dancer. I used to practice my dance moves around the house, didn’t we all? Bouncing on the sofa gave my allegros extra spring; the polished parquet floor made me glide like a swan across a lake, and the nylon nets could be ripped down to make a fetching fairy gown.
The towel rail in the bathroom, complete with fluffy white towels, was my own personal ballet barre where I would practice tendus, ronde de jambes, and some frivolous frappés. I would round off my routine with a couple of grand pliés – meaning that I would bend my knees and sink down to the floor whilst keeping a firm grasp of the towel rail… indeed, my grasp was so firm that one day I found myself carrying the towel rail, complete with fluffy white towels, down the stairs and into the living room to explain to my parents how the towel rail had inexplicably detached itself from the wall. My parents were not impressed, nor surprised, as the previous week I had fallen out of the shower taking the shower curtain with me.

Anyhow, enough with the jolly nostalgia, this week I have been pitching for the BBC weather forecast contract. So far I have impressed them with my age, experience, and traditional methods, which include Tarot card reading; an in-depth knowledge of what ladybirds do when there is a snowstorm brewing and, by looking out of the window and sniffing the air. I am aiming to charge them £50 a week – they are umming and ahhing about this as Charmaine is also pitching, she says that when the weather is inclement her nibs perform differently, to quote – ‘they go proper stiff’, and she is willing to demonstrate this by flashing them every evening on tea time telly for only £30 a week and six million extra viewers.

Next week: Charmaine does something interesting with a box of crayons [again] and Aunt Scarlet gets a tattoo….

Pens, Pens, Pens…..!!!!!

Too much excitement for my poor little head to think straight! Mr Lax has started a notebook and favourite pen(s) meme. Dinah has already taken up the baton and now it’s my turn to flash my nibs.

First off, these are my favourite pens on my desk…

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My favourite pens

These include a Bic Biro fine nib (no blobs with this one, Dinah); a 0.4 Pilot G-Tec-C maica; Mitchell Scroll nib 20; Mitchell broad edge nib no.3; Titanium Zebra G from calligraphy buddy Linda Yoshida; Gillott 303; Leonardt EF Principal nib; Brause 66EF nib, and Brause 361 Steno nib.

I am a bit of a hoarder of pens and nibs…

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Nib Storage
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More nibs and pens…
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Nibs, nibs, nibs….

…and I buy my favourite pens/nibs in bulk…

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Mine, mine, mine!!!

….and on a rare occasion I might even put pen to paper…

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Some notes from an old notebook…

…and this is what I must do now – put pen to paper – I still have a pile of envelopes to write out, including those for Mr Mags and Princess – I haven’t forgotten!

Next Week: Charmaine does something interesting with a box of crayons, whilst Harold has a weak moment with a loose flange and a pair of pliers.

Calligraphy Tip no. 34

…and not only a calligraphy tip, but also a beauty tip!!! A double tipped post!!! What could be better????

Apologies. I am a little fraught, having spent the morning trying to sync my wretched devices. They have decided that they hate each other and are refusing to share anything… especially photographs. I have tried talking rationally to them, but in the end I resorted to tricking them into doing what I wanted them to do. I am female, so it wasn’t that difficult… but they shared the relevant information very slowly.

Anyhow, what was the calligraphy tip??? Oh yes…. if you would like to add some subtle colour to white calligraphy simply colour it in with coloured pencil… just make sure that the white is proper dry before you do, or it might get a bit messy.

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A Helpful Beauty Tip
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Colouring in

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How To Shave Safely
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Thighs

A Brief Interlude

Here is an old BBC interlude from days of yore. Please watch from 2.24mins onwards. You may of course watch it all, or none of it, but it features workman digging and playing with their pneumatic drills. I thought this might be of interest for those who feel inspired to dig.

Meanwhile I am up to my eyeballs with poorly executed calligraphic experimentation. There are screwed up balls everywhere…. amongst the discarded chip paper…

Please bear with. Normal service will resume as soon as I’ve gotten the ink out of my favourite T-shirt…

Hello

Aunt Scarlet is refusing to write a post and has told me to do it. She said to say that she is lanquishing on a chase lounge and MUST not be disturbed. Apparently she is writing a long letter to a bloke she refers to as Moogo, or Moorgo, or something like that. She has lots of other people to write to too, such as Princess, and some calligraphy people. She keeps getting in a huff because she is trying to write in her best calligraphy but it keeps going all wrong and she is surrounded by screwed up bits of paper. She is making a mess and is causing a potential fire hazard because she is drinking gin and smoking her horrible fags. She is also swearing a lot.

Aunt Scarlet said that when I write a post I MUST include some photographs. She said to take some pictures of her screwed up balls to show that she is trying to make an effort.

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Screwed up balls

Whilst being locked in the attic and fed nothing but gruel, I found these bottles. I asked Aunt Scarlet what they were supposed to be. She flew into a rage and did more swearing and told me to never ask her about them ever again. I think she is a bit mad.

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Aunt Scarlet’s empties that aren’t so empty…
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A bottle in a bottle

By the way, Harold and I don’t eat the gruel that Aunt Scarlet makes us. We throw it out the window and go up the chippy. We have the spare key to the attic.

Will write soon,

Charmaine.

Er…..

It appears that it is Wednesday, meaning it is time for me to post something. Unfortunately I have been very, very, very, very busy. This is what I have to show for my busy-ness…. I have been working on this for the past month….

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A bit blank….

I know, stunning… one of my best pieces… WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?????
I asked one of my lovely Flourish Forum friends, and she sent me this:-

Erm… yes, this does all feel rather familiar…. So from this day onwards I am going to start writing lists and ticking things off, I feel that this is the only cure… so… I am away… to write a list… at the top of the list it will say: Write a post for next Wednesday…