Author Archives: Scarlet

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About Scarlet

A refugee from Blogger.

Until…..

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….until WordPress took away the option to use the Classic Editor for writing posts. Where has it gone??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Hasn’t life been difficult enough lately without having to navigate newfangled formats??? Eff it.

Meanwhile, in the calm serene world of Ms Blue, she is still waiting for her hospital appointment to have a tooth extraction – it has already been cancelled once and she is fighting the very real possibility of becoming a codeine addicted raddled anorexic [kidding-ish]. The good news is that the toothache has subsided due to the death of said tooth – it just feels a bit weird instead of radiating complete agony. Thankfully the codeine is no longer needed although it is still difficult to eat.

Distraction techniques have featured some of this:-

halloween calligraphy exchange

Yes, I signed up for a Halloween card exchange on Instagram. I had a bit of a fiasco with my postage stamps due to my inability to add up properly. Being able to add up helps if you want to use swanky vintage stamps when sending cards to places such as the USA, Australia, and Canada. Sigh. I am now out of vintage stamps. I don’t have a stamp to my name. I will slap some pics up of the cards I made after they’ve reached their destinations – if they ever make it!

Calligraphy-halloween-exchange-2020

calligraphy-halloween-exchange-envelopes

Yep, as well as postage stamps galore there was also collage! Of course there was.

Other distractions featured listening to very loud music whilst being ironic:

 

I have another hospital appointment booked for next week. I shall let you know what happens – or you’ll be able to hear my screams, one or the other. Oh yay – I’ve found Classic Editor again!!! There is a God.

Trying to Flourish….

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I was tired of staring into space, my hands were restless and needed something to do. They were also far too clean – where were the ink stains and tacky bits of glue? And so, I picked up my nibs and tried to write again….

quote-written-in-calligraphy-for-a-friend

Copperplate-calligraphy-address-using-bleed-proof-white-on-red-envelope

And lo, I managed to write 50 words without referring to my toothache, or embedding a weird video about asbestos…. things were definitely moving in the right direction, until……

An update, and a short educational film

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I have an update. How thrilling. My toothache has subsided for the time being so I’m hoping to write a post that doesn’t focus on minor health issues, instead I will focus on Mr Devine’s less than subtle hints that I should get on with the FGES competition, as witnessed here and here.

I have the shorts. They are here, with me. I received them from Tumblr blogger, AlpoJones way back in November 2018. Good grief, have I really had them that long?! Anyhow, Alpo included some goodies with the shorts, as seen here:-

FGES

There was also chocolate, but that didn’t last the week. Gone. Thank you Alpo for the shorts and the extras all the way from Seattle!

If you are interested in the definitive history of the FGES then you can find it on Rimpy’s blog HERE

I will run the competition before the end of the year. I promise!!! So enough with your not so subtle hints, Mr Devine! Though I am sort of dreading putting them on again…. maybe I can work round that? Maybe I should just wrap them up and send them to Mr Devine.

Meanwhile, here is something educational for those who are baffled, and not at all interested in the ever so slightly grubby velour shorts…

Tooth – An Update

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I am just back from the dentist, and as I suspected I have a few loose teeth that need to come out – and also a black area on the X-ray that ‘looks suspicious’ [probably a bit of decayed brain that has fallen through], so I have a referral to the hospital [something I was dreading], but they probably won’t be able to see me until we are in full on pandemic mode again.
I have antibiotics – but I struggle with taking tablets, so I’m not sure how this is going to pan out. I am a bit worried about the ‘something suspicious’. The thing is that when I am anxious I do not ask questions – I am in full flight mode so why would I hang around and drag out a conversation – or listen?

I’m sure it will be fine :-)

*Hides under bed and starts sobbing*

Tooth…

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….as in ache. I apologise for leaving random off-topic tooth related comments all over the internet – this is very bad form, BUT, in my defence, I have very bad teeth. This is a lie, they are not that bad – and the pain may not even be the tooth’s fault.

Way back in 2011 I wrote about my jaw issues, about how I woke up, aged 11, with my jaw jammed shut. I wrote about how my mum, although possibly delighted with the prospect of having a mute daughter, took me to the doctor, and then to the hospital where X-rays were taken and it was concluded that I had an iffy jaw, and that not a lot could be done for it other than a series of exercises to loosen it up.

The problem is that when I am riddled with anxiety I clench my jaw in my sleep. And this is what happened a week or so ago. I woke up in pain with my jaw clenched like a Staffy clinging on to a piece of prime rump steak. I think I might have broken something, I am not sure. The peculiar thing is that when I eat a specific tooth starts hurting, but half way through a meal it will stop hurting and be fine. It is the oddest thing. Also, there is no swelling and my gums look healthy, but my jaw is very stiff. It is putting me off my food and I have already lost weight. I probably need to see a dentist, as the salt water sloshing isn’t really cutting it. Obviously the thought of going to the dentist during the pandemic is making me anxious, having the knock-on effect of more clenching, and more pain. AARRRGGGHHHHH. I promise to ring a dentist on Monday. I will let you know how it goes because I’m positive that everybody finds my tooth related woes as fascinating as I do.

Meanwhile, here is the pretty view from my bedroom:-

And, for relaxation, I have been doing some of this:-

calligraphy-shakespearian-insult

Who is this???

Yes, a new series of Shakespearian insults beckons…..

Headliners

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As a small child my imagination was rampant with images of gorillas armed with machine guns waging war in jungles; call girls innocently making money in telephone boxes; and stubborn mules being stuffed with drugs. My imagination, devoid of explanation, saw fit to fill in the gaps.
With this in mind I thought I would start a weekly series of posts dedicated to recent news headlines that my imagination has seen fit to misinterpret. Sometimes I will have a raft of headlines due to my head being particularly fluffy, and sometimes I will have very few – possibly due to my head being so fluffy it refuses to read anything at all.

My first for this week is:-

Vogue Portugal defends controversial mental health cover

In my head Vogue Portugal becomes a sleek, sophisticated, business woman who has been culturally cancelled due to not allowing her staff access to mental health insurance. Her workforce have taken her to task for this, and she is defending herself by pointing out all the perks they get instead, such as Gucci sunglasses, and access to a jacuzzi during their lunch breaks.

My second misread:-

Coach sex activity figures show ‘law change needed’

My poor little head went into overdrive with this one, i.e. does it mean there isn’t enough sex on coaches? Or too much? Is there so much sex going on in coaches that a law is needed to stop it? I didn’t know that people had so much sex in coaches; are people allowed back on coaches now? Who knew a day trip to Blackpool could be so thrilling… Etcetera, Etcetera….

So there you go, a little insight to the workings of my mind. I am hoping to develop the character of Vogue Portugal so that she eventually has a role in Write Panic. I’m sure she could do something useful with a banana.

[Edit]For Jon, because I am a jolly hostess….