Until…. [Part 2]

….I went rummaging through my old blog looking for an old advert post for mascara when I found this instead, from 2009. Shocked!!! Did I really write such things??? I’m not even sure if I should republish this…..but I am going to because this blog has been far too gloomy lately, and this is a different spin on toothache.

This is possibly one of my worst posts, EVER. From HERE

Cathy is not a dentist [she states this quite clearly]. She has spent the last 4 months detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure in Holloway as punishment for making films featuring scenes of torture and abuse; she is now unemployed but enjoys dressing up as an air hostess. Cathy has toothache, and an oral fetish; she has now broken into the dental surgery to polish some instruments. Mr Davis [the real dentist] is startled to find her in his surgery handling his scarifying tool, and a tube of toothpaste, but he is impressed by her tonguing action, and he has a professional interest in her misshapen mandibles. Because of his attention, Cathy gets a little overexcited and flashes her Crest. In a fit of wild abandon Cathy slips and knocks out her front tooth on the narcosis apparatus. She is crestfallen. Mr Davis ushers her into his black leather chair for a thorough examination. Cathy sighs as she feels him in her mouth – she is in her element, she begins to froth and lets him poke around until he fills her all of her cavities….

Soz.

40 thoughts on “Until…. [Part 2]

  1. The Mistress

    Frankly, I don’t remember seeing this clip before. Yet I commented on it!

    Some of us are getting to a stage in life where we forget what we (and others) have previously posted. So feel free to have a “Flashback Friday” any day of the week.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Dear Mistress – Flashback Friday seems like something I could actually achieve – so yes, expect more!
      I don’t really remember writing this post – a lot of my old posts raise my eyebrows [what’s left of them].
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Mitzi

    I thought about you the other day when I was watching a gardening programme, I can’t remember which one it was now, either Beechgrove or Gardeners’ World, they showed us an edible flower called Electric Daisy AKA the toothache plant that numbs your mouth.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mitzi – I have Googled, and Electric Daisy sounds like it could be fun. I will try to grow some next year, thus killing two birds with one stone – my toothache, and having something to submit to Mr Devine’s gardening competition.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Inexplicable DeVice

    Gosh! That got a bit saucy, didn’t it. I second (well, third, really, as Dinah got in before me) your motion to write “What a Carry On” type adverts.

    P.S. Extremely good use of the word “crestfallen”. I found myself nodding and smirking at the screen!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – Knowing me, the whole post was constructed so that I could use the word ‘Crestfallen’!
      Crikey, I was saucy back then, but then again I had more hormones.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Scarlet Post author

    You smutty lot!! I shall reply to comments individually tomorrow, but for the time being I am relaxing on my chaise longue after an interesting day. Guess what, good news – I do not have to have any teeth out – turns out that it was my jaw causing the pain all along. Stress and jaw clenching. Tsk.
    Sx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Nick Rogers

    Glad to hear your tooth is safe and there won’t be any unsightly apertures. I’m sure some Carry On style ads would be most entertaining – or even a full-length movie Carry On Blogging, starring Julia Davis, Vicki Pepperdine and Foil Arms and Hog.

    Goodness, that Cathy is a wild one. I’m glad she’s not claiming to be a real dentist, I wouldn’t want her to be tackling my gingivitis. Who knows where her hands might end up.

    I’m equally astonished when I re-read some of my old blog posts. Did I write that? Surely not? What was I thinking?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – Yes, I’m really pleased about the teeth, but I still have to familiarise myself with the jaw exercises or I won’t be any further forward. I still have pain, and I still need to see a dentist about a mouth splint… and I still need a dental hygienist, but yay, I should keep the teeth.
      I know – some of my old posts make me want to crawl under my desk and pretend that they’re nothing to do with me. Honestly, I don’t know where my head was at.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. lisleman

    I’ve reposted my favorite posts. When I pick a favorite I don’t bother with being objective. Sorta like picking a favorite child. Short of reposting, I’ll include a link to past post that relates to the subject. I’ve had a reader tell me that they recall the post so the fact that someone remembers is a good sign.
    Oh that dried out chunk of tartar looks like the calculus that Newton found stuck to his teeth back in 1666.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  7. Scarlet Post author

    Bill – Re the tartar – my mum used to tell me that it was the tartar that kept her teeth in – photographs of her mouth are now being used by the NHS to demonstrate what can go wrong if you don’t look after your mouth – I kid you not, I gave them permission.
    Sx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      No, Sweetie, are you wearing your rose coloured spectacles again?
      Sx
      Actually WordPress have been on the fiddle and have altered my fonts, and possibly a few other things. There was a memo a month ago that I glanced at.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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