When not composing her much loved symphony in D minor, which she did often and wisely, Fanny Mountjoy-Williams could be found picking up stray boys from the streets of Dungeness. Her mission was to round them up and escort them to school, thus ensuring that they received an education of sorts. Some people mistook Fanny’s activities as being purely altruistic, and seldom suspected that Fanny had an ulterior motive. Few people knew it, but during the early sixties Fanny had been recruited as the International Global Universal Ambassador for Persil soap powder. Fanny took her promotional duties seriously although she was not adverse to mischievous tinkering.
In her role as ambassador, Fanny would locate a random urchin, preferably grubby from playing on the bomb-sites, and then clothe him in a shirt that had been soaked for several months in a solution of 5 parts hydrogen peroxide, 7 parts ammonia, 4 parts baking soda, 9 parts arsenic, and 1 part plutonium [do not try this at home]. This recipe would guarantee that the shirt would glow brilliantly with a blinding whiteness.
As we are all aware, Fanny Mountjoy-Williams was a formidable woman – by the age of twelve she had already written a groundbreaking thesis on high wire acrobatics and aerial fire eating, which in turn led to her being nominated for a Nobel prize in chemistry, so it is of no surprise that other women were easily impressed by her lofty demeanour, and by the luminous urchin that would often accompany her on her jaunts around town. Who could blame these women for peeking into Fanny’s basket and, on seeing the box of Persil, jumping to the wrong conclusion. Thanks to Fanny Mountjoy-Williams and her novel approach to marketing, Boxes of Persil flew off the supermarket shelves, but sadly these new consumers were left dismayed and disappointed because their children refused to glow, they instead remained dismal, dull, and decidedly grim in comparison to Fanny’s urchin.
Not a woman to miss an opportunity, Fanny realised that she could make a pretty penny from selling her secret recipe to laundry obsessed mothers at the school gates. Eventually, due to demand, she formed The Fanny Club, collectively known as The Fannies. They were a large group of discerning women [think Tunbridge Wells] who would meet every other Tuesday for Fanny workshops to discuss folding techniques, and what to do with two large sheets in a high wind. The club motto, which they would recite at the start of all club meetings, was as follows:- Persil washes whiter and it shows, but with a touch of Fanny it really, really glows.
In 1975 the Fannies were disbanded after a member complained that the secret recipe had been the cause of an unsightly rash on her rear. Overuse of baking soda was believed to be the cause.
Originally posted HERE
Also, none of this will make any sense until you watch the Youtube 🙂 And then it’ll make even less sense.
COMING SOON:- Something new!!! Maybe.