Sniff

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I wanted to make a grand announcement, I wanted something of a fanfare with trumpets and bunting, but it is not to be. I am underwhelmed by a cold and am feeling wretched. I do have news though. I have a brand new calligraphy blog. Yay. Go me. It is here:- www.loopy-letters.co.uk. And with this new website I begin a new project. This is not a bog standard calligraphy blog, oh no, this is a Scarlet Blue calligraphy blog. Obviously I would like to sell some calligraphy related bits and pieces, but the real purpose of Loopy Letters is to document my new project.

My intention is to write 100 Loopy Letters. Over the years I have found it difficult to combine my interest in creative writing with my addiction to calligraphy. If I sit and scribble short stories then my calligraphy suffers and my hand gets rusty. If I concentrate on calligraphy then my brain feels a bit numb. So I have decided to marry calligraphy with creative writing and write 100 fictional letters. And, these letters will be sent to people. The letters together might eventually form a longer narrative, or each letter might remain an individual flash of fiction. This project might turn out to be as challenging as the Chronicles of Mogwash…. Mogwash may even feature :-)

modern-calligraphy-white-ink-on black-paper-fine-art-style-uk

Scribbly, fast-hand calligraphy…

Anyhow, if you would like to receive a Loopy Letter in a beautiful calligraphed envelope, and be part of this project, then please contact me so that I can add you to my address list. I am hoping that I will get truly stuck into this project in the New Year.

Meanwhile, things will carry on as normal on Wonky Words. There will be more words. There will be pictures. But not necessarily in that order. Now please excuse me whilst I go blow my nose on the bunting.

Calligraphy for Halloween

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This calligraphy site is still under construction, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t start adding my latest projects to my new blog!

Scribbly Calligraphy

For Halloween I signed up for an exchange with some UK calligraphy friends from Instagram. I wanted to attempt a new style of modern calligraphy… the scribbly unreadable variety where the lettering goes a bit wild and overlaps. This was tricky for me as I’m usually a stickler for making my writing legible – I will sometimes trash an envelope if there is an unsightly letter clash so making deliberate clashes made me wince. I used white Ecoline ink as it is less opaque than my preferred Dr Martin’s Bleed Proof White, and it achieved a ghostly effect I was after. My nib of choice was a Brause 66EF and this is how it turned out…

scribbly-modern-calligraphy-for-halloween

Suitably creepy…

I wasn’t happy writing it, but I was reasonably pleased with the result and I now feel encouraged to use this style on a larger piece, possibly using a variety of colours. The text I’ve used here is a short black magic spell that I found on the Internet – I think the scribbly treatment worked well with it, although I decided against using it for the envelope… I don’t believe in being mean to Postmen or Postwomen, so I wrote my usual copperplate script for these…

white-copperplate-lettering-on-black-envelopes-for-halloween-uk

Addressed-envelopes-exchange-with-fellow-calligraphers-for-halloween-2017-uk

Christmas is Coming!

My next project will probably be Christmas related, if I don’t start addressing my envelopes soon it’ll be the week before Christmas and I’ll be sitting at my desk dashing off addresses with a Bic Biro – and that simply won’t do! I intend to dig out the gold ink and make merry with the red envelopes! Although I suppose I ought to get on and finish this website…. I have a page about gilding to build…and there might be a flash of gothic and a wink of foundational…

Not so muddy….

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It is November 2nd and of course the weather here is glorious….

glorious-devon-in-november-2017

Mud??? What mud???

Remember this view back in July look at it now that it’s November!!! I thought I ought to redress the balance as I’m always complaining about the endless rivers of mud, but sometimes… often…it is beautiful here.

blue-sky-in-november-and-mustard-crop

BLUE!!!!!

The yellow flowers?? A mustard crop. Right… I am busy doing things… I will tell you later. And I got a bath mat. It is in the bath.

Sxxx

Life in the fast lane….

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Who would have thought that purchasing a new bath mat could be so complicated, and that it would lead to me trawling through online dictionaries, wasting hours of time, when I could have been soaking in a…er… hot bath. It all started at Boots.com [the UK department store, which sells lotions and potions and all things smelly – talking of smelly, Mr Beastie has briefly resurfaced], whereupon I entered the words ‘bath’ and ‘mat’ in the search box.

Please see exhibit A – click to make big.

stupid algorithm

Exhibit A

‘Did you mean to search for Bath Mat? Showing results for ‘max”, replied Boots.com. BUT I DID SEARCH FOR BATH MAT, I howled at the screen. I looked at the search box carefully. I scrutinised it, perhaps I’d typed in ‘enormous maximus’ by mistake as I am wont to do. It seems that Boots were not used to me enquiring about anything so prosaic as a bath mat. Why was I not indulging myself with cosmetics and tooth whitener as I usually do? Boots obviously thought it knew me better.

Please see exhibit B – click to make big.

stupid algorithm

Exhibit B

I then had a brain wave, perhaps ‘bath mat’ is all one word… et voilà…. I found the virtual bathmat aisle. So I thought: fair enough, now I know that bathmat is one word…. but of course I had to check AND ALL THE DICTIONARIES DISAGREE. *WordPress doesn’t seem to like it; my Apple dictionary says NO. My Collins Gem dictionary has no trace of ‘bathmat’. Google seems confused. I am none the wiser…. but does it really matter? Who cares how it’s spelt, all that matters is that I don’t slip in the bath and bruise my buttocks whilst taking a shower. I CARE. I BLOODY CARE. WHO AM I KIDDING TO SAY THAT I DON’T???????????? I WANT A DEFINITIVE ANSWER AND I WANT IT NOW. AND IF BATHMAT IS TWO WORDS I CAN WRITE TO BOOTS AND TELL THEM THEY ARE WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WHAT RIGHT HAVE THEY GOT TO BASTARDISE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR NONSENSICAL STUPID FRUSTRATING STUPID DAFT BUGGERING ALGORITHMS?????

…and breathe. Life has been a tad stressful lately. I will now log off and feed the dog.

*To be fair, WordPress doesn’t seem keen on ‘Bastardise’ and ‘Buggering’ either, so it doesn’t know everything.

When I grow up….

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Before I continue with all things bottled I have a question: Who did you expect to be when you grew up? As a child I took it as read that I would grow up to be a sophisticated middle-aged woman who would travel the world wearing top of the range frocks from House of Fraser and make polite conversation, late into the night, with the occasional French gentleman. I believed my future would look something akin to this……

If this was not to be then I at least expected dinner party invitations for every night of the week so that I could stuff my face with After Eight mints whilst wearing the aforementioned top of the range frock, although perhaps something more slutty from Debenhams or British Home Stores [RIP]……

In a nutshell I expected a glittering, glamorous future, full of fancy frocks, and worthy enough to merit a pithy voiceover. When the transition from eating fish finger sandwiches from a tray on my lap in front of the telly to being an internationally adored lady of leisure with an inexhaustible expense account would happen I didn’t know, but happen it would. Only it didn’t. I am still waiting.

The problem is that the future I imagined is impossible because this future is very much set in the past. I was set up for disappointment the moment these adverts hit my TV screen. Did anyone ever live like this? In any case, the dinner parties I have attended have had more in common with this…

No fancy frocks, just best jeans and a paper napkin to protect a nice top from gravy staining. Sigh. Obviously I was a gullible child when I was suckered by these adverts, although in fairness, I was more taken with the lifestyles promoted than the actual products; we always had After Eights at Christmas and we were allowed to eat them for breakfast whilst wearing pyjamas.
Anyhow, before I get on with my bottle project let us return to my question: Who, or how, did you expect to be when you grew up? I am not expecting anyone to be as shallow as me, hopefully you all aspired to greater things than living life in an advertisement for After Eight.

Whatever Happened….?

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bottled up revenge

Bottled Revenge

“Whatever happened with the messages in bottles? I am new to this blog – so the answer may be posted somewhere – but I’m not sure what direction to go to find it.” Asked Jean, several posts ago.

As I read the question on my screen a single tear rolled down my cheek from my left eye. My right eye is somewhat lazy, not so prone to gratuitous displays of emotion and thus remained dry. I often think about the bottles and wonder if I should dust them down, discover what they were all about and follow the direction they were taking me. Even Charmaine is now burning with curiosity after she stumbled over them in a blog post way back in 2015. Thankfully her stumbling didn’t cause any breakages. No cuts. No grazes. No electrocutions.
Perhaps it is time to publish some explanatory notes? Perhaps now that everyone has lost interest, now that everyone is fevered with the evils of politics and buffered by the occasional hurricane, perhaps now it is time to examine the bottles in more detail?
Anyhow, it is something to ponder on…something to face.