When I grow up….

Before I continue with all things bottled I have a question: Who did you expect to be when you grew up? As a child I took it as read that I would grow up to be a sophisticated middle-aged woman who would travel the world wearing top of the range frocks from House of Fraser and make polite conversation, late into the night, with the occasional French gentleman. I believed my future would look something akin to this……

If this was not to be then I at least expected dinner party invitations for every night of the week so that I could stuff my face with After Eight mints whilst wearing the aforementioned top of the range frock, although perhaps something more slutty from Debenhams or British Home Stores [RIP]……

In a nutshell I expected a glittering, glamorous future, full of fancy frocks, and worthy enough to merit a pithy voiceover. When the transition from eating fish finger sandwiches from a tray on my lap in front of the telly to being an internationally adored lady of leisure with an inexhaustible expense account would happen I didn’t know, but happen it would. Only it didn’t. I am still waiting.

The problem is that the future I imagined is impossible because this future is very much set in the past. I was set up for disappointment the moment these adverts hit my TV screen. Did anyone ever live like this? In any case, the dinner parties I have attended have had more in common with this…

No fancy frocks, just best jeans and a paper napkin to protect a nice top from gravy staining. Sigh. Obviously I was a gullible child when I was suckered by these adverts, although in fairness, I was more taken with the lifestyles promoted than the actual products; we always had After Eights at Christmas and we were allowed to eat them for breakfast whilst wearing pyjamas.
Anyhow, before I get on with my bottle project let us return to my question: Who, or how, did you expect to be when you grew up? I am not expecting anyone to be as shallow as me, hopefully you all aspired to greater things than living life in an advertisement for After Eight.

49 thoughts on “When I grow up….

  1. batarde

    I am still unsure about who I am going to be, but the setting was going to be like The Jetsons. Bright, whizzy and oddly two-dimensional. I am still waiting for my hover car and the electricity which is too cheap to meter, and the gloss has gone off the idea of robots doing all the work. Sadly that future also seems to be quaintly old fashioned.

    Citronella, conversely, is still working the Cointreau and Ferrero Rocher circuit.

    B

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      I suppose I did also imagine myself as Uhura from Star Trek, Mr Batarde…. I think this is as conventionally futuristic as I got! Can Citronella get me an invitation to the Ambassador’s Ball?
      Sx

      Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Jon – no I haven’t either…. but I no longer have any desire to be middle aged in a chocolate advert…. I suppose this is some sort of progress.
      Sx

      Reply
  2. LẌ

    I was sold on the space race. From the shaky start in the late 50s, to the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo successes of the 60s that put the astronauts in space and ultimately on the moon. On that rapid trajectory, civilian travel to space and to the moon as shown in 1968’s 2001: A Space Odyssey seemed like a very plausible future.

    I am still waiting for my space ride.

    Reply
  3. 63mago

    Honestly, it never ever occured to me to have fishfinger sandwich – and from a tray !
    This may be a nice illustration of some gender thing or so, why, you know, kebab sauce is tin-foil-licking good, and no need for a tray at all ! Nevertheless I’d like to knock back some Congdroh with that lady.
    I forgot who or what I wanted to be, that needs same introspection and autopsy, maybe I’ll find the right trailer.

    And btw, you are great, in chocolate or not.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Yes, Mr Mags, I was forced as a child to use a tray as the table was too far away from the telly. How dreadful this all sounds now…. I was though, always destined to be a screen addict.
      Sx

      Reply
  4. Inexplicable DeVice

    A long, long time ago (towards the end of last century/millennium) I remember being in my grandma’s garden with my sisters and a couple of friends having this conversation. I recall, that by the year 2000, I expected to be married (to a woman!) with at least two children, a nice house, car and a good job. I don’t remember any details, just that I assumed that was what my future was going to be.
    And then, sometime in the late 80s/early 90s, hormones kicked in and put paid to that little “Domestic Bliss” eventuality.

    I do have a nice car now, though.

    And I could quite easily eat a whole box of After Eights in one sitting.

    Reply
    1. Inexplicable DeVice

      Oh! I’ve just remembered that I wanted to be a pilot and fly Concorde! However, my eyesight was too poor to fly, so I thought I could be an Air Hostess on Concorde instead, but I was too tall.

      I’d like that box of After Eights now, please.

      Reply
    2. Scarlet Post author

      Oh, Mr Devine! How strange! I never had the domestic bliss dream….. I just wanted to go to parties…. and my hormones kicking in didn’t seem to change anything. Also, I watched far too many Bette Davis films, which probably led to me desperately wanting to go on a cruise with a fabulous wardrobe of clothes….
      Sx

      Reply
  5. dinahmow

    I’ll let you know when I do grow up!Oh, wait! Maybe this is my SECOND childhood.Oh dear…
    I flirted, briefly, with the stage, but the reality was that I needed a job that paid the rent.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Growing up is an illusion, isn’t it, Dinah?! Some sort of mythical place where everything falls into place and we know how to find a good plumber when we need one. Meanwhile, in my juvenile state I worry constantly about the boiler breaking down and the slates missing from the roof..
      Sx

      Reply
  6. savannah49

    An interesting and intriguing question that seems to be floating around Blogville these days! I hesitated to answer the other day because I was “out of sorts” and knew that any answer I gave would be far more negative than honest. Today? I can honestly say that when I was young I wanted to be “Brenda Starr, Girl Reporter” just like the comic book character! It did not happen and I am OK with that. xoxo

    Reply
    1. Scarlet

      Awww… Savvy…. I’m glad you answered in a positive mood…. I too fancied my chances as a reporter at some point…. then I fancied being a reportage photographer…. there are many things I wanted to be that might have led to evenings sat around a dining table scoffing After Eights.
      Sx

      Reply
      1. savannah49

        We were at a local grocery store yesterday when I saw a package of After Eights and I almost bought them, but the MITM pointed to the halloween candy in our basket and simply said, “Really?” xoxo

  7. lisleman

    I was influenced by the British during my youth. The British invasion of the Beatles and Rolling Stones. Then at the movies it was this super cool spy, James Bond. No chocolates were involve in my dreams.

    Reply
      1. lisleman

        thanks for sharing that youtube find. Dropped off a box of chocolates without even staying around to see her happy face? Seems like a missed opportunity. Oh that shark didn’t have a happy face.

  8. lululabonne

    Have you ever done that party game where you tilt your head back, pop a cold After Eight on your forehead and move it to your mouth using only facial expressions? It works well as a race xx

    Reply
  9. nick

    I had very few expectations about adult life. I think (rather unimaginatively) I just expected it to be mainly more of the same. I certainly didn’t expect a glittering future replete with untold luxury and a giddy social whirl. My only specific ambition was to be a famous writer. It took me some years to admit that my writing abilities were limited and literary fame was not to be.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Oh yes, Nick, I had ‘famous writer’ on my list too! Now I doubt that I can even manage being an infamous writer. Although…. at least a few of my words have been printed on perfume bottles.
      Sx

      Reply
  10. Peter Wells aka Countingducks

    Planning in a practical way has never been a strong point so I might well say. “I’d love a holiday in the Caribbean drinking pina coladas and enjoying conversations with a range of nimble beauties who are in awe of my abilities at table tennis, but I never found out how to get to the Caribbean in a way I could afford. I never had a life plan but somehow thought things would be “Alright in the end.” That is still my hope. I cling to optimism 🙂

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Same here, Mr Ducks! It’ll be alright in the end…. I no longer dream of much more than my next cup of tea or favourite soap episode. I really ought to buck my ideas up.
      Sx

      Reply
      1. Scarlet Post author

        I have Googled; this very cheering quote is from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and I believe it was said by the Judi Dench character.
        A very good quote!
        Sx

    1. Scarlet Post author

      I think my dreams were somewhat limited, Monsieur Pain…. I don’t think I put much effort into achieving much. I am rather lazy, and laziness is limiting 🙂
      Sx

      P.S I did comment on your recent ‘Bruce’ post, but I tucked myself under Savvy and Dinah I think and didn’t start a fresh thread, so I am in the mix somewhere.

      Reply
      1. Exile on Pain Street

        Back in the day we were called ‘lazy.’ Today, we’re called ‘slackers.’ It has more of a poetic panache, don’t you think?

        Yup. Saw your comment. Might’ve said something in return. I don’t remember and I’m too lazy to check.

  11. Eryl Shields

    I firmly expected to travel by sea-plane (goodness knows where to) with the kind of luggage that became furniture on opening: a vanity case that turned into a dressing table complete with a swivel mirror, a suitcase that turned into a wardrobe full of cocktail frocks. I have a vague recollection of thinking I’d have a pet leopard who would sit in the passenger seat of my sports car as I drove very fast along narrow mountain roads, while handsome men on carts smiled forgivingly as their donkeys reared in fear. And there was a typewriter in there somewhere, too, which I saw myself bashing away at as fine gauze curtains fluttered in front of my beautiful travelling desk. I also thought I wouldn’t live past 21, which seemed ancient. I’d forgotten all this, so thank you for making me remember, I think I want to return to that fantasy. X

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Eryl – I think you must have been watching the same films as me! I’m sure I remember Gina Lollobrigida speeding around hairpin bends up some Italian mountain and scaring the donkeys. And the men. I also recollect a huge suitcase turning into a wardrobe on a cruise ship, although this memory is in black and white! I bet nobody under 21 has memories in black and white.
      Sx

      Reply
  12. Riot Kitty

    Good question! I have to say, things didn’t turn out exactly the way I expected, but overall I am not disappointed. And not surprised that I am in a job that allows me to essentially agitate at work.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Joey – Adverts made me crave a tiny waist whist stuffing my face with chocolate…. dream the impossible dream….
      At least you achieved your dream. Kudos to you.
      Sx

      Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Ms Kitty, you have now been released from the Spam Box, and now have full approval to comment here. Apologies for the over zealous security. I will be having words with my staff.
      Sx

      Reply

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