A Realm Beyond Comprehension and a Shortish List

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Iawoke realising that I had failed. Not only had I failed in my mission to become an internationally acclaimed artist with medals and an OBE, but I had also failed in my attempt to achieve world peace.

‘There is still time.’ Whispered a distant voice from a realm beyond comprehension.
‘You’re optimistic,’ I replied, strangely unperturbed by this new aural phenomenon, ‘my deadline is 21st November 2045, I only have 23 years and a bit and then the crowds will descend on Mogwash village hall expecting some kind of spectacle/experience/miracle/wonderment/world peace/artistic extravaganza [delete as applicable].’

The distant voice offered no further advice so I heaved myself out of bed and decided that today would be the day that I would start to get things done. I had to be positive, I had been dribbling stupor for long enough, and maybe the distant voice had a point – there was time – so I washed, dressed, ate a bowl of gruel, and hauled myself up to my garret at the bottom of the garden.

My garret was much as I left it, though a bit more dusty. On my desk was a list [please see exhibit A]

After removing a pile of books from my chair, I sat, and tried to gaze out the window – I couldn’t, it was far too grubby so I added ‘clean window’ to the list.
It appeared that I had my work cut out, or at least written down. But there was something I’d forgotten – something very important, and I swear I could hear the words: Did I win yet? being typed on a keyboard. My reverie was interrupted when I felt a cool presence brush against my left elbow, and from the sound of glass bottles rattling in a cardboard crate. This was all rather startling, but even more so because of the Blackbird  standing on the bottles with its wings outstretched in a cormorant pose, as if perched on a groyne. There was only one thing I could do in the face of such terrorism, I passed out, hitting my head on my desk as I slowly slumped to the floor.

To be continued over the cusp.

40 thoughts on “A Realm Beyond Comprehension and a Shortish List”

    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mistress B – You will be fine with the FGES! Though the longer you leave it the harder it gets!!
      Today started with mist, then sun, but now it’s a typical UK grey day – chilly with rain.
      Sx

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  2. savannah49

    Your list is impressiingve, sweetpea! I can barely read mine after writing it if I even remember where I left it! I have an idea of what photo I want to send to IDV, but like the list, I’m not sure of I remember what I had planned. *sigh* xoxo

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Savvy – So many blogging things to do! All year I’ve tried to remember to take pictures of the garden, I have a few, but I missed it at its best. I also need to go through old garden pictures.
      It’ll be fine! Meanwhile, any suggestions for the world peace issue? And for my obtaining of an OBE, of course.
      Sx

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  4. Jon

    I love that list! I look forward to seeing your pictures from RHS Rosemoor, sorry, your garden! At least we did have a summer to speak of, so I’m sure your pink bush has been splendidly blooming… Jx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Jon – My pink bush was glorious, but I missed the photo opportunity, which I feel very bad about. I have a few other blooms to present, but they are not in the same league…. hence a trip to Rosemoor might be in the offing!
      Sx

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  5. Inexplicable Device

    Ah, so that’s why I received a strongly worded letter from RHS Rosemoor!

    Hooray! Books on a chair, distant voices, the Bottle of Greed, and a Mogwash adventure! I can’t wait to find out what happens next.
    Hang on a minute… “continued over the Cusp”? I can feel a headache coming on…

    :: narrows eyes at the blackbird and tries to exit without being followed ::

    P.S. If you’re eating gruel, what’s Charmaine going to eat?!?

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – I recommend writing a list!! A headache you say? Think of me sitting in front of the TV and eating chocolate as you continue over the Cusp.
      Maybe I should write a list every week as a blog series – I could probably manage that!
      Sx
      P.S Charmaine has a nifty way with a couple of fish fingers and a family sized bag of crisps stuffed in a bread roll. Sigh – the stuff of dreams – my poor jaw is better off with the gruel. Charmaine thinks this is poetic justice even though she’s now as big as a bus.

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  7. dinahmow

    I wasn’t sure why you want to put in writing your thoughts on Mr.Putin. Why would you call him a tusat? So I asked Google Translator. Of course, it was all in Cyrillic script and I’ve forgotten most of that. So I went down the cheap route and Silly Con Valley helped out. .. I do hope you haven’t given him any ideas about launching any nasties our way.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Dinah – So much gets lost in translation! I shall demand a group of precision translators as part of my world peace package – though I haven’t worked out who to demand them from yet.
      Sx

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      1. Scarlet Post author

        Jon – It is true I’m not always a sunny smiling soul! Sometimes I get cross and call people names, such as twat, or often something stronger.
        I would love to be a Dame!
        Sx

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  10. Nick Rogers

    Good grief, you haven’t yet achieved world peace? But the deadline was December 31 2019. I suppose you’ll claim you’ve had much more important things to do, like dusting your garret and stockpiling gruel. If you haven’t achieved world peace by 2023, serious consequences could follow. Very serious consequences indeed.

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  11. llcooljoe

    If you did write to Putin, I’m sure he’d immediately be ashamed by his behaviour and end the war. Maybe he doesn’t realise what a twat he really is. Can you write to King Charles too, and tell him his tantrum about his pen made him look and sound like a little spoilt brat and you would never see his darling mummy act that way.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Joey – I have had my spoilt brat moments, too! Pen’s can drive you to the brink of insanity, trust me, I know!
      I am still pondering my letter to Putin, so far I only have twat, and bigger twat!
      Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mitzi – Got to say that Kelly Holmes rocks that dame hood though, maybe I could too? Or would I go all twinset and pearls under the weight of a title? Hmmm, worrying. Maybe I will save the Dame hood for 2045 – I don’t want to age unnecessarily.
      Sx

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  14. melaniereynolds

    You should have put “Send Photo of a tree for Melanie” and then promptly marked it Done! As you have already done so. It’s important to count the small wins! I would wash the grubby window and then promptly lose five hours staring out of it for no good reason.

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  16. lisleman

    Great goals, long lists, and awarded chivalric codes leaves me overwhelmed. I do know you get empty wine bottles by drinking more wine.
    Oh since you are my best British connection at the moment, I ask this.
    I read that your King has released his Royal Cypher. I think you with your pens could have made it more distinguished. Could you offer your King some help with his penmanship?

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Bill – Hahaha!! I did look at the cypher and did think it was a bit blah, but then again it’s got to be fairly simple as it’s got to go on post boxes and the like. I would like to be anointed Royal Pen Keeper though. I would make sure all the pen lids were on so there were no further leaks.
      Sx
      Sx

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