After several weeks on the fainting chaise I began to feel better. My recovery had been slow, arduous, and beset with challenges, for example I felt as though an ominous cloud had been stalking me daily, I couldn’t shake it, so instead I decided to take a photograph to illustrate the darkness of my unwanted companion.
To escape the cloud I hid indoors and pretended it wasn’t there, although I could still hear it leaking into my conservatory. I tried to make a note to get my roof fixed, but couldn’t decide whether to use copperplate, italic, or a modern calligraphy style. I concluded that my indecision was because it was all getting a little bit too much. I decided to stick my thoughts together with a drawing of a crow, as this was obviously the best way to make a note.
Though in the midst of muddlement, I knew there was a course of therapeutic action available to me, which was to lay quietly on the fainting chaise and read a pile of books [one at a time, NOT consecutively].
And lo, after several weeks I did begin feel better though less than robust, after all, I did still have a Temporomandibular joint disorder; Tinnitus; and a misdiagnosed knee condition, but, I also had a theory: my chronic ailments were somehow related to that damn wax effigy I’d sealed in a bottle back in 2006. I had unwisely used my own hair, and material from my clothes to make this glorious work of art…. blah, blah, blah… I think we have been here before….
Please note that the pin located on the right of the doll’s head [my left] and the pin stabbed into the left knee [my right], correspond anatomically [within accepted parameters] to my current jaw and knee issues.
I concluded that the only way to be completely well again would be to break the bottle and remove the pins from the effigy – plus, if my theory was correct, then did I really want to find out what the remaining pins would do?
It is now June 2021, and I am still a bit nuts.
Wonky Words 
You obviously didn’t follow the WikiHow instruction manual for Voodoo Dolls properly – apparently the pins can be used for good as well as harm…
https://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Voodoo-Doll
Good to now you’re feeling better, anyway! This glorious weather must help. Jx
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Jon – Oh my goodness, that made this post a little too real. Maybe I should make another doll and smother it in healing vibes? My knee is being a bugger today, just as I thought it was on the mend, still, it’s good to have some sunny weather.
Sx
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They must be slow acting pins … all the same, time to apply the pincers I should say. And a liberal application of Savlon wouldn’t do any harm. Still at least the clouds have lifted for the time being, which has cheered me up too because leaky conservatories are a source of untold consternation when it’s raining. Nice scent bottles, by the way. 🙂
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Now there’s an idea, Mr Batarde, I could squirt Savlon into the bottle?
I know, I do have I nice collection of harmless bottles, thank goodness they aren’t filled with artistic endeavours.
Sx
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Time spent on a fainting chaise is always a lovely thing. But yes, I say break that bottle open and the pins out- SAT! I must say that letter and art work and your writing is one of your best yet Scarlet! I can’t imagine that going through the post!!!
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Mistress B – I love putting these bits and pieces in the postbox, and hope that they intrigue the receiver. I secretly resolved to do more this year – I’m glad it was a secret, because I haven’t done many!
Yes, I think I may have to break that bottle open.
Sx
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Oh, good gods, yes: Get that effigy out of that bottle and unpinned pronto. It’s always made me a little uncomfortable since you disclosed it was made with your own snippings and clippings. And if it makes me uncomfortable, who knows what it’s doing (and going to do) to you!
There. That’s the important bit out of the way – along with that spectacularly ominous cloud, I hope? Now, what’s left? Ah, books on a chair – Yay! I must read some…
P.S. Was the choice of stamp with its crow/blackbird (swooping towards Rupert to have his eye out – Eeek!) a deliberate one because of the crow garnished thoughts?
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Mr Devine – I love that bottle soooo much! It was my first experiment with bottling, BUT, it does seem to be causing mayhem. I will ponder how to dismantle it. Are you not convinced by the Savlon idea?
Yes, I’ve done well with the books this year – I wonder how high my read pile will get?
I think it was a bird themed note and envelope!
Sx
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JessasMArieundJoseph !
(Yes, I repeat meself.)
Can’t you sink that thing in a cauldron filled with consecrated water, or better (but expensive) oil, or Balsam ? So you would not have to dismantle it, but just stop the bad wudu radiation from escaping – like a (atomic) fuel cooling installation, Abklingbecken You could also make a BEUYS tribute and seal the thing in fat. Or clear honey, as long as it is not shown in Oregon or Norfolk, because Brontos & bears.
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I am kinda getting the vibe that people want me to be rid of the bottle, Mr Mags? But it’s soooo cute! I like the Beuys tribute idea – but I think it’s necessary to remove the pins first. Would a strong magnet do the trick?
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Smash the bottle and replace the pins with therapeutic acupuncture needles to encourage healing and then burn it. On the first of every month I like to give my face, neck and hands a good going over with a derma roller 1.5mm needles, it draws blood and gives me a thrill like no other.
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Sounds like a plan, Mitzi. Especially the bonfire bit. You are a star! Apparently the derma roller increases the production of collagen – which is what my knee needs to heal, so I might try it on my kneecap. My kneecap would welcome a thrill. Thank you!
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Mitzi Countess Masoch – who knew ?!
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I think I knew.
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I would loan you mine but it wouldn’t be worth the cost of post. Let’s see if these things are expensive in the UK…interesting that they only seem to sell them as kits these day, or at least there. Suppose you could make a new hobby of it. They’re easy to use, easy with the pressure, let the sharp blade do all the work then give it a tap. Seems to be around $30 in the UK, just search for “glass bottle cutter”.
I like your card. Nice crow!
Yesterday as I stepped out the door to go have coffee with a friend a Swainson’s Thrush crashed into the window and died at my feet. It was terrible. All I could do was stand there and watch as it took its last gasps of breathe. I should like to blame it on your effigy. My friend is paranoid it was a bad omen in regards to her eminent move to California. Here is a link to the bird. It has such a nice song. Very difficult to actually see one when they aren’t laying dead at your feet. I buried it next to the raven. I seem to be amassing an avian cemetery now. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Swainsons_Thrush/overview
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Melanie – Cool website! It is 5.43 in the morning here and the thrush is the perfect wake up call. I’m sorry that my wax effigy has caused more pain, please feel free to blame it for the death of the bird. It probably caused Covid and Donald Trump as well. I will sort it.
Oh, yes indeed! I do own a glass cutter; that’s how I got the wretched thing in the bottle in the first place!! But now I am divulging my secrets and destroying the magic, but maybe in this instance the magic needs to be destroyed!
Sx
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Blimey, have just realised that I need to put the clock forward on this blog.
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It seems to me that if the effigy is cursed and generally putting out bad vibes, then what’s needed is an exorcism to purge the curse and restore its healing powers. Just contact your friendly local exorcist and she’ll sprinkle holy water and chant a few sacred words and Roberta’s your aunty, everything sorted!
I see the drawing of the crow very tactfully conceals my childhood location of Pinner, Middlesex, one of many boring London suburbs that deserves to be discreetly concealed.
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Nick, you seem knowledgeable on the subject of exorcisms! Do you have experience in such matters?
Meanwhile, I had relatives in Middlesex – Edgware. Maybe we have passed in a street, or a park. Yes, I was that tiny tot dodging all the cracks in the pavement; I was the child with the stitched up lip, and the scabby knees, I’m sure you’d remember!
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CBD oil, my mother swears by it and she no longer makes those grunting noises everytime she gets out of the car.
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Mitzi – I will see if I can get some, there are a few grunts in my locality that would benefit from a smear of CBD oil. Thank you, again!
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My mother gets hers from here after seeing the advert on tv she takes 1200mg sublingually.
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Mitzi, I might try it, can’t do any harm, can it?
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I really like that crow drawing!
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Rimpy – A little bit of tracing goes a long way!!
Sx
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