Monthly Archives: June 2021

Notes to Self…. [A pertinent list featuring Aidan Turner]

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1) Write a blog post before the end of June.

2) Reply to comments of previous blog post.

3) Think about strong language. Strong language is defined as swearing – surely it isn’t strong at all? It is lazy, easy, weak? Surely it is stronger to find more meaningful words rather than to rely on a predictable fuck? I mean, who wants a predictable fuck?

4) Do some calligraphy. Do I really want to do more calligraphy? If I make a point of giving it up then maybe I’ll be desperate to do it?

5) Take another photo of a pile of read books on a chair.

6) Try to decimate Mr Devine’s sideboard with a giant picture of Aidan Turner. I don’t think my method works anymore, but at least I can have a picture of Aidan Turner on my blog.

7) Why hasn’t Aidan Turner been considered as the next James Bond/Dr Who/presenter of The One Show – write to the relevant organisations and suggest his inclusion on their shortlists.

8) Cut toe nails.

9) Think about 1938.

10) Publish this list as a blog post – but isn’t that cheating a little?

Notes and Pictures and a Big Pink Bush

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I have a new series of posts to delight and entertain! Following on from my globally popular series such as A book on a chair, Loopy Letters and Scarlet’s Guide to Public Toilets in the UK, I bring you: Notes From My Journals 1971 – 2021. These will include digital notes; handwritten notes; and photographs from my photo journal. For example here is a note from June 1975:-

And from more recently…

4th June 2021

Honestly, I am shaken by my encounter, but pleased I didn’t get into a slanging match. No point with people like that, is there? And I realise I haven’t explained what happened. In a nutshell: tractor with agricultural equipment being pulled behind, was hurtling towards us in a narrow lane; it stopped, but I didn’t think there was room enough for us to pass by; I walked back to a large passing point, so did my friend and her dog; the tractor then came to a halt beside us, and the driver ranted on about us not walking past when he’d stopped; I said that my dog wouldn’t and he replied that I shouldn’t be on the road then; he then made a point of staring at me; I didn’t reply and stared back, matching his aggressive eye contact; he then pretended to be about to let his snarling dog out of the tractor cab; I didn’t flinch; in the end he had to drive away with me still staring after him.
Guess I was cool really, but I didn’t feel it. I reckon he will deliberately try to kill me if he ever sees me again – I got that sort of vibe. Glad I wasn’t wearing the onesie.

And from my photo journal – My glorious pink bush….

Yes, this year I am determined to be ready for the Garden Competition.

Knee update: Saw Doctor on Friday, he claimed to be baffled and referred me to physio. Perhaps I should have shown him the wax effigy to explain the condition of my knee? Maybe next time.

What happened in May?

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After several weeks on the fainting chaise I began to feel better. My recovery had been slow, arduous, and beset with challenges, for example I felt as though an ominous cloud had been stalking me daily, I couldn’t shake it, so instead I decided to take a photograph to illustrate the darkness of my unwanted companion.

To illustrate a post featuring a sky.

To escape the cloud I hid indoors and pretended it wasn’t there, although I could still hear it leaking into my conservatory. I tried to make a note to get my roof fixed, but couldn’t decide whether to use copperplate, italic, or a modern calligraphy style. I concluded that my indecision was because it was all getting a little bit too much. I decided to stick my thoughts together with a drawing of a crow, as this was obviously the best way to make a note.

Though in the midst of muddlement, I knew there was a course of therapeutic action available to me, which was to lay quietly on the fainting chaise and read a pile of books [one at a time, NOT consecutively].

And lo, after several weeks I did begin feel better though less than robust, after all, I did still have a Temporomandibular joint disorder; Tinnitus; and a misdiagnosed knee condition, but, I also had a theory: my chronic ailments were somehow related to that damn wax effigy I’d sealed in a bottle back in 2006. I had unwisely used my own hair, and material from my clothes to make this glorious work of art…. blah, blah, blah… I think we have been here before….

wax-effigy-in-bottle-on-mantelpiece

Please note that the pin located on the right of the doll’s head [my left] and the pin stabbed into the left knee [my right], correspond anatomically [within accepted parameters] to my current jaw and knee issues.

I concluded that the only way to be completely well again would be to break the bottle and remove the pins from the effigy – plus, if my theory was correct, then did I really want to find out what the remaining pins would do?

It is now June 2021, and I am still a bit nuts.