Panic!! My bloomers have dropped off and I know not what to do! My orchid has been flowering since it came to live with me in March, but now the flowers are falling onto my mantelpiece. I knew they wouldn’t last forever, but what am I supposed to do with the two stalks I am left with? My first thoughts were to ask Jon and Dinah as they are knowledgeable about all things exotic, but being an impatient soul I couldn’t wait for replies to this post, so I have also consulted the internet.
I am now calm. My orchid is being normal and is doing normal orchid things.
In other news:- I am still making my collage alphabet for my shop – I know, I am taking ages to fill it, and there has been only one item available since May? I will stock it properly when the alphabet is complete, the good news is that I am up to the letter ‘p’. Here is some evidence of activity….
I am not sure when the alphabet will be complete as I keep being distracted by other things to do, such as practicing italic…
This is the first italic calligraphy I’ve done in over a year. I used the scroll nib because I thought it would be more forgiving. Ha! I am certainly inconsistent!
Next Friday: The FGES. Where are they now? Are they clean? And when will the film be made?
Wonky Words 
Some people would find their bloomers dropping off a pleasant experience, but I understand your concern.
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Joey – It depends on the weather. Today is a day for dropping the bloomers. Next week I forecast a thermal vest and a utilitarian rubber ensemble.
Sx
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It’s completely normal for one’s bloomers to drop off once the weather warms up… But seriously, folks – they’ve just finished their season, that’s all. Lop off the old stalks and let the little buggers have a rest (just the occasional mist spray, no water for a while, put them somewhere like the bathroom or a north/east-facing windowsill) and your bloomers will soon shoot up again. Jx
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Thank you, Jon. I knew you wouldn’t let me down! How far down the stalks do I cut? Right at the bottom?
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Once the last flower’s gone, yes – right to the base. I got a Phalaenopsis (like yours) for our friend John-John, and his put out a new stalk within a matter of weeks. Jx
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Blimey, mine seems to have more bud stems at the top, I should have taken a pic.
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Pfft. At least they’re erect. My hollyhocks have been flattened I tell you. 😦
Your pheasant is very natty – dim birds but likable. I note that Waitrose will no longer be selling them if they’ve been dispatched with lead shot, which makes me wonder what alternatives they had in mind. Curare-tipped blowgun darts? Roadkill? Or perhaps they have engaged a throng of grizzled old poachers in moleskin trousers who will get them drunk and stick them in a sack. My apologies … rambling even more than usual. There was a plumbing emergency in the small hours last night and I am frazzled. Your scrollery is lovely, as per, as is the sentiment.
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Hollyhock dysfunction is to be expected after a certain age… Jx
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Aren’t they slug fodder?
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I want Lupins! I love Lupins.
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Hollyhocks don’t seem to be affected by slugs or snails too much – Lupins and Delphiniums (and Dahlias) on the other hand can be obliterated by the sods. We have had just about everything attack our garden this year: molluscs, caterpillars, flea beetles, aphids, you name it. But with so much planting to go round, and so many wee beasties (and birdies) that prey on them, nothing has been completely destroyed. Jx
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Delphiniums! Yes of course! I get them muddled up. Delphiniums are so pretty if they survive.
Too many birds here for the bugs I reckon, but then the birds eat raspberries, blueberries etc.
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I wouldn’t sacrifice any space in a garden to growing stuff that can be bought from a greengrocer, to be honest. Just flowers. Jx
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Ha, Ha!! I guess that’s true.
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A plumbing emergency, Mr Batarde? There is nothing worse, other than an electrical emergency at the same time.
As for the pheasants, maybe I can make some pennies by flogging roadkill pheasants to Waitrose? Do you think they’d be interested in roadkill rat as well – seems to be plenty of them about!
Thank you, My scrollery is very rusty!
Sx
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No electricity involved, and all mopped up now. Much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth at the time at the time though.
If the old blunderbuss is out of the question I imagine simply running the dozy wotsits over is the simplest option so perhaps there really is a nice little sideline in it for you. Presumably the Mogwash area is swarming with putatively edible fauna. Think I’d sooner put badger or stoat on the menu than rat, personally, but we’ll see how I feel about that after Halloween.
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I had an incident with a grade II listed cistern once. It was at the top of the wall and overflowed in a spectacular squirty fashion, and then the pipework started behaving like a garden sprinkler.
Actually I like pheasants, and I’ve never eaten one. I don’t understand the hanging up process – it seems a little unhygienic.
Halloween! Oh yes, I’m sure we’ll eat anything then. I’ve started a baked beans collection.
Sx
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Sounds dramatic. Wish we had an old-fashioned cistern because I understand them.
Once upon a time I visited a wildlife place in Herefordshire (?) where they had a variety of deluxe pheasants with remarkable plumage, and it’s been unthinkable to consider them in culinary terms ever since. An absolute menace on the roads, however! I believe the idea is that you gibbet them until they’re just about ready to drop off the meathook under their own weight. Ewwww.
No baked bean stockpile here yet, but we have been laying down olive oil and sun dried tomatoes for some time. 🙂
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D’you know, I don’t think I eat anything worth stockpiling.
I had a visiting peacock at one place I lived. He was adorable. Pheasants are related to peacocks, so no, it’s not likely I’d eat one. I’ve never eaten duck either.
Sx
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Peacock quills are absolutely lousy for writing with – about as good as overcooked pasta quills in fact. Not that I’ve tried the latter, you understand.
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Don’t get peacocks (or pea hens) if you value your garden.We had SEVEN of the brutes and when in season, ie, randy, the cocks chased each other, then chased the hens, then each other…and do not repeat NOT, allow the buggers indoors.Especially if you have lovely shag pile or flokati.
Orchids…yes, John has put you on the right path.Yours does not have more flower spikes so when the last petals have dropped, cut the stems and be very careful not to cut any of the roots. You can see some, crawling over the rim and just poking out.They are vital.
And our formers neighbours had a high-mounted cistern. The chain was a bit loose or something so T. said to give it a good firm yank. Italian friend had a bit of trouble with it and said he was “having a good wanking, but nothing happen”
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Well something was obviously remaining erect then.
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Apologies, Looby – I almost missed your erection. You snuck in here and I was expecting you down the bottom [to clarify: of the comment thread].
Sx
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Is and erection a Chinese election? Ha. So racist.
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Dinah – No, I will not let any peacocks indoors!!! These days there is a higher likelihood of a cow invasion, which would also be detrimental to the soft furnishings.
The Italian friend obviously needs time to develop a good technique, bless’im!
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Glad to know you’ve sorted out your orchid problem. I’ve had a few orchids, and never had much luck keeping them going once the flowers started dropping off. I gave my mum an orchid once but clearly she disliked it because she paid it no attention whatever and it died a miserable death within weeks.
….And patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
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Probably Samuel Johnson’s most overused (and most inappropriately applied in the majority of cases) quotation – as discussed here. Jx
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Jon – It is 7.52 on a Saturday morning, and I find myself up to my eyeballs in false patriotism and William Pitt the Elder…..
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Nick – My mum was unsuccessful with orchids, which surprises me, because she was generally good at caring for houseplants and the garden. I reckon she probably overwatered and fussed over the orchid too much.
I like the occasional scoundrel. Or scone.
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I’m just reading Popism by Andy Warhol and Pat Hackett. Andy was always surrounded by scoundrels of every possible hue – freeloaders, carpetbaggers, kleptomaniacs and all sorts.
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I bet he was!
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San Francisco has a climate that is apparently perfect for orchids. When I had a garden, I would just stick them outside, tell them “Good luck” in an airy tone of voice and let them have at it. They thrived.
Glad to hear about the store, I’m looking forward to browsing about and then sniffing and murmuring something about Waitrose having a better selection last year.
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Mr Peenee – I believe orchids like a bit of sweet neglect, which is fine by me.
Oh my goodness, I must do a Christmas selection and fashion something fetching with a couple of baubles and a yard of tinsel – it will be ready in time for Easter 2020.
Sx
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This is a very timely post, Ms Scarlet, as my Phalaenopsis (copied & pasted from Jon’s earlier comment as I couldn’t be bothered to remember how to spell it) also needs seeing to.
I am intrigued with the mention of “visable (visible? are these two separate things?) mending”, and whether it’s good or bad. Is Celia an expert in such matters, or is she flaunting a mended item inappropriately?
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Mr Devine – See how my spelling goes out the window when I am scribbling notes!
Celia Pym is indeed an expert in visible mending. I learnt of her from Lulu Labonne back in 2017 HERE, and have been meaning to mend my jeans using a visible repair method ever since. On Thursday, only 2 years later, I fixed those jeans – trouble is they feel really tight now. THEY WERE ALWAYS TIGHT!!! But I don’t generally wear my jeans so tight anymore. I will have to wear a long top to cover the offending area.
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P.S I only have one episode of Another Life left. Sob. And so begins the relentless search for a decent box set.
P.S2 Looking at my notebook I seem to have written ‘visiable’, so I was hedging my bets.
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Rimpy here. I’ve deleted “Spanish Tater” and re-established Rimpy’s Pinkeye here on WordPress. Just letting you know.
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Well hello, and welcome to WordPress, Mr Rimpington! Thank you for letting me know, I will sort out my links when I’m on the laptop.
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Tsk. I can’t find your new blog Rimpy. What has happened? Is WordPress being a mare?
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good to know you have a normal orchid. An abnormal orchid would only be a disturbing sight that could lead to nightmares.
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Bill – Triffids are the stuff of nightmares! I will find a clip of them tomorrow.
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I have a white four stem orchid, it flowers twice a year without fail, I water it with Buxton sparkling water and sometime with the dregs out of a Dandelion and Burdock can, I feed it baby bio (for ordinary houseplants) once a month and when it gets dusty I polish it’s leaves with anti-bac wipe, it thrives. However, all but one stem have produced flowers this year and I’m afraid that is not good enough, I’m toying with the idea of buying a purple one like yours and grafting it à la Dr Frankenstein onto the stem that hasn’t produced flowers, I don’t know if it’ll be a success or not, but if so, I will create a monster.
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Mitzi – Are you going to use wax and tape method, and then whip it all together? Or the superglue method?
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I’m distracted by the Mavis Cheek books on your shelf. Which reminds me… could you do a “If you like Mavis Cheek, you’ll like (name of author)” post?
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Ms Mistress – I should re-read my Mavis Cheek books! Have you read Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman? I loved it so much that I’ve not been able to read anything since! I think you would like Eleanor.
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Yes, I’ve read “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.” So that and the Mavis Cheek books gives you an idea of the sort of thing I enjoy. Of course, there are plenty of other writing styles I enjoy but that sort of quirky, whimsical novel is especially welcome on my bookshelf.
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Erm…. Jonathan Coe – House of Sleep, and What a Carve Up! These are very good.
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Thank you for the Coe recommendations.
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Orchids terrify me, I catsat for a lady in Dartmouth last year, her house was like a tropical forest of orchids and orchid instructions. I love Celia Pym – are you doing one of her classes? xx
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Lulu – I am also a little afraid of orchids.
If only I was doing a Celia Pym class! I have you to thank for knowing about Celia Pym, Lulu! And the reason she is scribbled on my pad is because I finally got around to darning my jeans, and I was reminded of your Celia Pym post back in 2017.
Sx
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was it a celia-style mend? Can we see it? pleease xx
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Erm…..put it this way – it is an extremely visible mend!!! Kind of clumsy, because I am not very neat or patient with a needle. It works though! Maybe I will show it 🙂
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Of COURSE Dinah would know what to do. My God. Who else?
Why no Pat? She hasn’t posted since June. I don’t like it. Not one bit.
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Apologies, Monsieur Pain, you ended up in my spam folder again.
As it’s you I will go and check up on Pat on Facebook as she is often active there. I will have to cleanse my laptop of cookies when I return. Hold on, I won’t be a minute.
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All is well, Monsieur Pain, Pat is at a family wedding. She has posted some lovely photos on FB of the event, I’m sure she will return to us at some point.
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