Sigh. Mutter. Squirm. I am in a quandary. For my collages I have been thoughtfully curating illustrations from a vintage book. I bought the aforementioned book at a flea-market in 1991 for £3.00, and for the last eighteen years the book has been kept in a variety of cardboard boxes; occasionally I would flick through it and admire the pictures. There is text in the book and I did mean to read it, honest, but I never did. Anyhow, today I thought about getting another copy and I checked it out online – replacing my trashed book might cost £25+

I feel guilty about trashing the book. I grew up respecting books. BUT, if I hadn’t trashed the book then it would still be sitting in a box, unopened, unread, unappreciated. I would’ve never gotten around to selling it on Amazon or Ebay – I wanted to keep it because I like the pictures so much, and with the collages it is getting a new lease of life, and if I frame and display the collages then I can always look at the pictures…

And the reason I wanted another copy? So that I could trash it, of course. Sigh. Mutter. Squirm. At ease, I can’t afford to do that right now.

To add to this quandary is a further quandary relating to a vintage newspaper – the very first edition of The Sunday Telegraph – which originally belonged to my dad. I was going to take my scissors to the print, but I checked online, and it might be worth £100 – £200. Sigh. Mutter. I am not squirming yet because I haven’t cut it up. It is so gorgeous. Even a full page framed would look good. Damn it. I would love to cut it up and use it. Anyhow, it is now in a box with nobody looking at it. Excuse the colloquialism, but this quandary has done my head in. Of course I would take £200 if offered, but what is my price? How much lower would I go? Or in other words: How much money does someone have to offer me so that I don’t cut it up? Would I give it up for £40? No. But nor would I spend £40 on a vintage book or newspaper to cut up. Do you see my issue? I’ve not really spent any significant money on the items I’ve cut up. Yet.

I am sighing, muttering, stomping my feet, and huffing all over the place. I love making the collages, and when I put them together every component has to be just so. Making copies of the pictures from the book would not have worked for me – I did try, but I could see that the originals looked so much better. There is something special about aged book paper, it’s just so infused with existence [whatever that means].

Perhaps I should remind myself that generally art materials are expensive, and that these vintage bits and pieces are, for the time being, my materials.

So, should I cut up the vintage newspaper? Or try to sell it?

Next Week: More Map News!!! Are we there yet?