Category Archives: Calligraphy

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Friends, Romans, Countrymen……

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….lend me your wallets….

Old blogging chum Gyppo Byard has designed an Insult Generator, and it works!!! It is fabulous, I used it this morning to yell at the telly. AND, our friends in the US seem to love it too. With this in mind I have come up with a cunning plan to shore up the British bank vaults…. yes, I am stealing Mr Byard’s generator and will be opening The British Insult Shop on Etsy. I am positive that my US chums will be clamouring at my door wanting me to pen an insult for them. Think about it – the pound has fallen so you can get more insults to the dollar. I will also be offering the luxury version – The Gilded Insult. I will be away talking percentages with Mr Byard and working on designs, but for now, here is a preliminary sketch….

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Nigel Farage?

Please wish me well with this new venture.
Sx

Another Book on a Chair

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I thought I would share the view from my bathroom. I was fully dressed when I took this photograph – it is a bit fuzzy because I was trying to zoom in on the flax fields. Yes, I sometimes sit in my bath and pretend these are fields of lavender and that I’m in France.

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A Bathroom with a view….

And here is another picture of a book on a chair seeing as the book on the chair in my previous post proved so popular. I have decided that ‘A book on a chair’ is my new thing. This is The Illusionists by Rosie Thomas – a jolly romp through Victorian London theatre land. As I’m reading I am envisioning Clark Gable in the lead role alongside Warwick Davis and Jenna Coleman, plus my envisioning is in black and white and was made in 1939. I am on page 284 (of 513) and the obligatory reference to Jack the Ripper has just turned up.

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Book on chair…

Meanwhile, I have finished this. I am not happy with it. It is suffering from Kolner Miniatum pucker…. meaning the surface of the gold is wrinkly; this is probably because I applied the miniatum too thickly – or because I didn’t breathe on it correctly and therefore introduced unnecessary moisture to the surface before applying the leaf. Ack. This is a fuzzy photo to deliberately disguise my shortcomings.

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Finished….

I am happy with this though….

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Addressed….

Until next time when I will have another book on a chair.

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Catching Up…..

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As it was sunny Charmaine brought the Rolls round to the front of the house in preparation for a trip to the seaside; after a buff and polish with Mr Sheen the old girl was ready for her first outing of the season. The sun shone, birds pooped on the windscreen, whilst Charmaine crunched gears, narrowly missed hitting small children and got her flip-flop caught on the accelerator. Finally we arrived at our destination in time for our first lesson in stone balancing…..

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Well balanced…

Sadly, after believing I had a natural talent for this sort of thing I was expelled from the workshop. Apparently the use of superglue was not considered to be a viable option.

I returned to the Rolls to read my book, leaving Charmaine to frolic in the surf and hopefully dislodge the pebble that had balanced itself on her forehead.
After 5 hours of solid reading in variable light with no interruptions for ice cream, fish’n’chips, or anything cheerful, I finished the damn book. And it was a damn book. This one…

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The Visitors

The Visitors by Sally Beauman. 540 words of misery; death; more misery; a bit of tragedy chucked in just to make it even more miserable; only one miserly paragraph alluding to sex; grumpy men looking for treasure; posh people stealing from Egyptian tombs; death; more death; typhoid; TB; DEATH. I think the book might have been about death. Set in the valley of the kings it was hardly going to be about the life and soul of the party [she was murdered early on]. Good grief. On the plus side it was extremely well written.

SO…. after finishing the book Charmaine drove me home, sans pebble but with an unsightly weeping wound on her forehead, where I decided that I should photograph this piece of work that has been gathering dust in my studio for the past two weeks begging to be finished….

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Gold witterings…

I am slapping this picture in this post with the promise that I will finish this piece for next week’s blog post. AND THERE WILL BE A BLOG POST NEXT WEEK.

I thank you.

Calligraphy Tip no.17

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Apologies for my extended absence. I have been scrubbing. Specifically, I have been scrubbing the grubby grey tiles in my shower. I am something of an overzealous scrubber, as Charmaine is so fond of telling me, and this has proved detrimental to my lettering. I cite Exhibit ‘A’ – prior to scrubbing…..

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Exhibit ‘A’

And, Exhibit ‘B’ – post scrubbing

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Exhibit ‘B’

As you can see, Exhibit ‘A’ is smooth in line, whereas Exhibit ‘B’ is a shaky mess. This is because the repetitive rhythmic pressure and forceful overexertion of the lower arm, which is needed for a good scrub, causes the muscles to contract and spasm. Therefore my advice to fellow calligraphers and lettering enthusiasts is to learn to scrub with their non-writing arm. This may mean that you have to live with grey grouting in your shower; that your mirrors and windows may look a little smeary; that your teeth may be permanently stained yellow; and that other areas in your life may become less than satisfactory causing significant frustration and complaint from loved ones and casual acquaintances, but I feel that this is a small price to pay for smooth, flowing, confident letterforms.

Meanwhile, I am still up to my eyeballs in gold leaf and calligraphy correspondence. I do mean to post more regularly on my blog – I’ll aim for Thursdays, but sometimes it might just be pictures – it is difficult to type with just my left hand. Please bear with. Thank you.

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Mmmmmmm….

Happy Birthday…..

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…..to me…..

Yep, it’s that time of the year again when I am allowed to sit on the sofa all day and eat cake. I did have a fabulous post planned… but I seem to have lost it.

Meanwhile, isn’t this photograph peculiar?

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Old Benson and Hedges Advert?

This one is not so peculiar… further gilding experiments with silver leaf…

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Silver Leaf

Apologies for this rubbish post. But it is my birthday.

Coming soon:- Charmaine finds out what it means to be British; Aunt Scarlet makes an International faux pas; and we finally find out what was in the picnic basket that Charmaine left in the hallway several posts ago…

Less Dramatic….and unfinished…

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A damp grey day in Devon…

I have no words. Well, I have a few…. Yes, someone has left the remains of an ancient fertility symbol on my driveway. It is huge. I live in fear that a passing chainsaw artist will drop by and carve it into a giant squirrel perched upon an undersized toadstool…. or worse, someone will feel inclined to whittle it into a spoon…. probably a Londoner…probably a Londoner with a beard…. I have seen evidence that spoon whittling is popular in the south-east. Apparently this is an oak burr; whatever it is, it has been on my driveway for 5 months, and has worked well as a bird table.

I am not going to speak of Charmaine in this post, she has upset me too much… something to do with ‘not taking myself seriously’…. and she has been insistent that I ‘get a proper blog wiv nicer photos done by someone proper’…. you get my drift.

I will deal with her later.

Meanwhile, I do seem to have accumulated a few unfinished projects….

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Work in Progress