They don’t make adverts like they use to. Why is that? We were spoilt in the eighties, although the drinks being advertised were probably the forerunners of alco-pops, and really weren’t that nice.
I did indeed want to grow up to be Lorraine Chase, or Joan Collins. I dreamt of a future wafting around in floaty frocks and being invited to house parties to sup Campari with suitable beaus.
It wasn’t to be. These adverts weren’t made for me. Turns out that my future was a little more rugged and mud filled – more wellies and waterproofs than sequins and pearls. Never mind. I can still look back on the future that never was, and smile.
The above short paragraph has been sitting in my drafts file since the 27th April. I have no idea why I didn’t publish it. Jon is now on holiday for 10 days so he won’t see it – and that is the problem – our daily blogger, Jon, is away. Daily bloggers are lynch pins within blogging communities, and without them, even for a short time, communities can fall apart. In Jon’s absence I will try extra hard to publish some posts. Mr Devine is making an effort to post every Sunday, and even Dinah has popped up again. I think Sunday is a good day to choose for some regular blogging – I might even tackle a Wednesday as well! But maybe that’s simply another wild dream? Scotch mist, anyone?
Wonky Words 
More like…missed Scotch!
But I (we?) do take your point and we promise to try harder to be better, Nanny. Could we have a bit of crumpet now? I mean…could we have crumpets now.
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Dinah – More like scotched opportunities.
I think I’m getting more and more forgetful – I seem to have set up a Wonky Words Blogspot! I don’t remember doing that! I think I must’ve already been preparing for not renewing my WordPress subscription in September. I must use this blog or I will lose it!
Crumpets? But of course!
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How can you be forgetting to remember?!!! You’re much younger than I! I’m inclined to blame the Covid lockdowns for disrupting our routines. (Just don’t walk down the High Street muttering “Covid buggered my blogging!”)
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P.S Scotch Mist is cockney rhyming slang for pissed! I thought Lorraine would approve.
Sx
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…and it’s also a cocktail – whisky over ice and garnished with lemon!
‘Scotch mist’ is used humorously to refer to something that is hard to find or doesn’t exist – something imagined – like future blog posts, which is why my brain originally latched on to it!
I think I think about too many things at the same time…and then forget it all, even after I’ve I’ve acted on an idea – such as creating a new blogging space!
Sx
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Not taking this thread any further or people will think we’re Scotch mist!
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Maybe we are AI???!!
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I used to like the adverts as much as some of the programmes in the 70s and 80s. Still love a Campari and soda on a hot evening. X
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Eryl – I really believed that these adverts were a true representation of what my adulthood would be like!!! I don’t know why – maybe this is how I imagined the posh side of my family lived!
Campari is so sweet though, Eryl – types the woman who’s been adding Tia Maria to almost everything since rediscovering it at Christmas – it’s great with coffee ice cream and a wafer biscuit!
Sx
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It’s also wonderful with bananas and cream! X
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Eryl – I think it livens up just about everything!
Sx
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It’s been a while since I’ve seen that Campari ad, as I always thought you- I mean, Lorraine – replied “Nah, Luton airport”, and not “No, Luton airport”. Peculiar.
Also, I ordered a Cinzano once with the expectation that Joan Collins would miraculously appear. She didn’t. And I was ridiculed by my friends!
At the mo, I’m aiming for a Thursday post, as well as one of a weekend. Anyway, we’ll get a rota sorted out for Jon’s next holiday – August, is it? For his birthday?
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P.S. I’ve lost my ability to like comments again. I had a fleeting flurry over at Dinah’s, but the ability has fled. Bah!
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Mr Devine – I’ve lost my ability. Full stop. Yesterday I had to use backup codes to simply access my blog’s dashboard. Security failed to recognise me – appalling, but I can still Like.
Sx
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Mr Devine – I would have said: Nah. In my head Lorraine says Nah too…. Good heavens, the whole past has been built on a misheard advert.
Is it me or does Jon ALWAYS seem to be on holiday these days? Or do his holidays just come around quicker? Though I’m sure they don’t for him!
I will do a Wednesday post – it will be sparse yet riveting.
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Riveting? Omigod! You answered that dodgy ad for the nut , screws washer, bolts
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Dinah – You know me, I like a good rivet.
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Posting on Sunday ?
Naaah, crazy talk.
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Mr Mags – But we have all achieved it!! I think we all deserve a drink now.
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In the early 2000s I saw the lovely Lorraine Chase at Manchester’s Canal street, she was doing a stint on Emmerdale at the time, that explains why she was so far ‘oop North’, she was with a big boned lady carrying a dog, both were wearing flat shoes!
I reckon my sister wanted to be Joan too, she used to smoke those black cigs that Joan used to smoke in Dynasty, More’s I think they were called.
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Mitzi – Me and my friend used to smoke menthol Mores cigarettes at school!! Joan has a lot to answer for.
I didn’t know that Lorraine was a flat shoe wearer! I’m glad she looked after her feet.
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Ah, Luton Airport, just to be there is very heaven, who needs to fly anywhere? I wanted to grow up to be a famous writer, even though writing was never the subject of glossy adverts. The one I remember is the Milk Tray man. No need for all those elaborate deliveries nowadays of course, Amazon can supply your chocolates in no time.
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Nick – A writer – I’ve dreamt of being one of those as well.
Bring back elaborate deliveries, that’s what I say! Amazon – not glamorous enough for this blog!
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I adore me Campari, THOUGH I’m more partial to Pimms on a hot day….but alas, the adverts never ran here in the US.
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Mistress B – Crikey, I can’t remember what Campari tastes like! I will have to get a bottle for old times sake. Oh, you missed a treat with those old ads. Fabulous!
Gin on a hot day for me.
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The drink of choice when I became “legal” was “cooler.”
I couldn’t remember the term “cooler” right away and when I googled it was listed as cooler/alcopop 🙂
It was always in a cask.
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Kylie – West Coast Cooler? I Googled, I don’t think we had that here, and I’m not sure that’s the one you meant!
My first legal drink was probably a Vodka and Coke. Sadly, I had been drinking the year prior to this – mostly lager – yuk!
Sx
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I wasted my youth on red from the Balcans, Kadarka. It is genuinely a very fine grape (“Edelwein”), but what was sold in the Seventies & Eighties in German supermarkets was cheapest plonk to fill Commie coffers.
On a hot day or evening I’d like to sip something flowery with low alc. First, against thirst, a big gulp of Radler, kind of beer mix, ice cold.
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Oh, Kylie! Please don’t lower the tone with “cask.” One must say Chateau Cardboard, uvvawise people’ll fink yer naff.
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Dinah – Are casks like Party 7s?
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No! A cask is a cardboard box containing a poly/foil bag of wine. It has a spigot you access by poking a perforated circle of the cardboard.Apparently, also called “goon sacks” which sounds a bit dodgy to me!
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I enjoyed those Cinzano ads. They give me the urge to buy some and find a Dame to spill it on.
Scotch Mist – the slang phrase for an imaginary slang phrase?
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Bill – Poor Joan!! I agree – those ads work! They make me want to buy some and I know full well that I don’t like the stuff.
Yes, I admit that my brain self combusted when I read your Scotch Mist sentence.
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I dreamt about Jon last night (nothing sordid), he asked me to water his plants while he was away and I agreed to drive 200+ miles, a 4 hr journey on a daily basis, instead of using shake and feed plant food as requested, I was sprinkling Trill budgie seed in his pots instead and I was pulling out his prized Meconopsis by the bucketful. I wonder what it all means.
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Mitzi – I had a funny dream last night, but I can’t remember it.
I think your dream means that you feel like you are being pressured into posting something! And – you are sub consciously yearning to get a budgie, but you would be worried about leaving it when you went away on holiday.
I know, I have a gift don’t I?!
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You’re like Mother Shipton it’s uncanny, except I don’t yearn for a budgie, I once had a Rosella in my youth which is very much like an overgrown budgie, horrible vicious birds that peck holes in your curtains, we all rejoiced when it flew out of the window to freedom, I remember my mother saying ‘quick shut the window, in case it flies back in’.
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Mitzi – Awwww…. Poor bird. Probably became dinner for a raptor, but I guess it had a taste of freedom.
Why dream of Trill though? Are you on a diet for your next holiday?
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There’s no reason you can’t tramp about the muddy fields in your wellies and waterproofs whilst sipping a Campari.
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Mistress MJ – Good point, well made!
I always liked the colour of Campari, but not so much the taste. I suppose I could get a hip flask and swig Tia Maria Coffee, or something a little lighter should the wind drop.
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Croll back up…I found the Tia Maria advert
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Dinah, I will look up an old Tia Maria advert!
Sx
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Dinah – good find on that Tia Maria ad. Will this become a comment section challenge? I would like a refreshing mojito on the beach. I have some rum, mint but no beach.
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Hello! I’ve just got in (from work, unfortunately, not Luton Airport) and was delighted to be reminded of these advertising classics. Joan Collins and Leonard Rossiter were brilliantly paired together. Like Mr Device though, I’ve always remembered it as being “Naaah, Luton Airport.” Aren’t false memories so surprising when they’re pointed out to you?
I’ve been meaning to build up a wee store of vermouths and so on — although on the rare occasions I’ve done this in the past I turn into a cocktail glutton. Postponed gratification is not really my bag. Chin chin!
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Just got around to this blog post – good to know I was missed. At least the booze appears to be flowing freely, as usual!
Unfortunately, we flew in and out of Gatwick, and there are no amusing classic adverts for terrible drinks featuring that place… Jx
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Thank God you are home, Jon! Neither I nor Mr Devine published posts this week as we’d arranged! Hopefully we will both scramble something together for Sunday. I don’t know where you get the energy to post everyday, but you should get some sort of award!
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We all must do what we can for the good of the community! I remember fleeting days just before turning the legal drinking age when I flaunted my “Ooh, look at me, I’m drinking a wine cooler because I’m cool and sophisticated stage.” that was the same summer I tried bronzers and sunless tanning lotions and tried to pretend like I cared what other people’s opinions were of me. It was short lived because my refrain is that I don’t really care what other people think I should be doing. I’m going to do what I want to do, and I prefer drinking rum and singing sea shanty like the piratical spitfire that I am!
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