Resolution no.1 – Get rid of THE SHORTS.

Happy New Year!!!!! And welcome to THE FREAKIN’ GREEN ELF SHORTS COMPETITION!!!!!!

A rough guide to the competition:-

The legend of the FGES [Freakin’ Green Elf shorts] began in Ohio, USA in 2004 when Andrea Knapp (a British ex-pat) bought a pair of novelty Elf Shorts for her husband George as a gag gift. For a laugh, Andrea took a photograph of George wearing the shorts and posted the pic on her blog. Andrea then decided to turn it into a caption competition, not thinking ANYONE would want to win them…. and the rest is Blogging history.

The general idea of the ‘Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts’ Caption Competition is to post a photo of yourself on your blog, wearing THE SHORTS.

Whoever comes up with the best caption wins THE SHORTS.

The current holder of THE SHORTS then sends the winner THE SHORTS and a few souvenirs from their country.

A definitive history of THE SHORTS can be found HERE. Many thanks to Rimpy for this incredibly detailed history!

So, without further ado, here is my photograph for you to caption…..

You have until Saturday 15th January 2022 to caption the photograph by leaving a comment on this post with your entry. The winner will be announced on Sunday 16th January 2022 [GMT].

GOOD LUCK!!!!

78 thoughts on “Resolution no.1 – Get rid of THE SHORTS.

  1. Inexplicable Device

    { G a s p }

    It… It’s happening! It’s really happening!!!

    I’m so excited! What a marvellous start to 2022 – thank you Ms Scarlet, and Happy New Year!
    I shall come back many, many times with captions I should think (but they won’t be for consideration in the compo as I don’t want to accidentally win them again).

    Hooray!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Scarlet Post author

    I know, Mr Devine!!! I’m as surprised as you are!! I shall look forward to your repeated entries! I will also make a note that you don’t wish to win them again.
    Sx

    Like

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Eryl! I am quite liking these captions regarding my soft furnishings – it is possible for such a comment to win! I will rid myself of the shorts by hook or crook…
      Happy New Year!!!
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. rimpington

    Dr. Scarlet Jinglepants, of the NHS, has isolated the original Corona virus and rendered it harmless with her own cocktail of bleach, pure light, horse de-wormer, and Pfizer/Moderna/Astra-Zeneca vaccines, thus saving humanity.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  4. Inexplicable Device

    ‘Dr Edwina Elfshorts* prepares her latest giant-Ferrero-Rocher-extract treatment for the Infomaniac House of Beauty’

    * I had to resort to this previously used name because Rimpy’s amazing “Dr Scarlet Jinglepants” has seen off any original efforts that I might have made.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. Jon

    I missed the whole FGES “thing” when it first emerged, and remain baffled as to why anyone would want the things – so I shall avoid placing a “witty” caption here for fear they may end up singing their way to the previously unsullied Dolores Delargo Towers…

    I look forward to reading other people’s efforts to win the contest, however! Jx

    PS Fab photo, btw!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  6. dinahmow

    I have been terrified of winning those damned shorts, for various reasons, but now have an even BIGGER reason not to want them.
    So, in the event they do end up here, perhaps Rimpy and I could do an under-the-radar deal?
    Oh! You want a caption! Um…
    “Somehow, in a beaurocratic cock-up, the FGES have gone to some outpost of Empire and Tony Blair has got a Knighthood! “

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
      1. dinahmow

        Just had a thought…The Mistress wants to see the FGES on a corgi, therefore I suggest she politely turn down her OBE and ask HM to join the competition. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be the Widow at Windsor II.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Scarlet Post author

        Mr Mags – I’m referring to how the original pair are lost in Australia! Where is your caption? I don’t think the shorts have been to Germany yet – just saying.
        Sx

        Like

  7. Inexplicable Device

    ‘Desperate for a wee – and using the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to soak up any unintended leakages – Ms Scarlet applies the final speck of glitter to her artisinal Christmas bauble that she started making six months ago. She should finish the set of six by 2024…’

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Haha!!!!! Steady, Mr Devine, or I might break my word and make you the winner…. but, you’d probably recieve the shorts in 2035, so no worries!!!
      Sx

      Like

      Reply
  8. lisleman

    I don’t care to win anything but some ephemeral fame. Here’s 3 caption ideas:
    After deep thought of her past flying trampoline problems, Scarlet creates decorative weights to give her trampoline neighbors.

    Scarlet taps into her secret cache of Cognac.

    Another attempt to capture the spirit of Christmas.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  9. Mistress Borghese

    hAPPY nEW YEAR TOOTS!!!!! I, like many wonder why anyone would want these damn ugly things, err, I mean wonderful fashionable bloomers…and heavens only knows what the hell is on/in them. And can they even be shipped into ports of other countries in this time of covid??? And have they had their vaccines? I mean they must be a petri dish by now?

    But I’m game. “This will only be a small prick, I promise.”

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Happy New Year, Mistress B!!! You want those shorts really, you are just playing hard to get – imagine how they will look with your rubber gloves????!!!
      Sxx

      Like

      Reply
      1. Scarlet Post author

        Mistress B – You might need a seamstress as well as I seem to have lost a bell, I think it’s under my bed somewhere – the less said the better.
        Sx

        Like

  10. Mitzi

    What Jon in his first comment applies to me too.

    I don’t think I could cope with the responsibility and besides cheap shoddy fabrics brings me out in hives.

    I had a very similar throw, purchased from House of Fraser I would drape it off the shoulders with my hands on my hips a la Joan Collins in The Bitch, sans chauffeurs cap. It didn’t look the same after I machined washed it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mitzi – I will try draping my throw! Damn it, why did I not have the imagination to think of that? I would have 20years ago. Mine has been washed repeatedly – not too shoddy, but not as well as a smaller one I have from Next. I wash them with Woolite on a woollen setting.
      Sx

      Like

      Reply
  11. savannah49

    “Scarlet, so lithe, winsome, and delicate had to resort to using her hiking boots and dog to avoid sliding off her fabulous furry sofa whilst wearing the World Famous Freaking Green Elf Shorts which are made from the finest polyester velvet!”

    (Huzzah, I entered on TIME for a change thanks to you know who you are, sweetpea!)

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  12. Inexplicable Device

    So many great captions! I think they’re all fabulous – especially one or two that probably aren’t captions – here are some of my favourites so far (not that my opinion means anything, of course):
    Batarde’s “Nice boots and sofa.” – I imagine it said like Worf does, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvOyaO-MLGQ

    Norma(n)’s “Why would I want anything from someone who gives enemas to their xmas ornaments before storing them?”

    lisleman’s “Scarlet taps into her secret cache of Cognac.”

    Maddie’s “This will only be a small prick, I promise.”

    Rimpy’s “These damned vape pens are so hard to refill!” (And I LOVE “Dr Scarlet Jinglepants”!)

    and Savvy’s “Scarlet, so lithe, winsome, and delicate had to resort to using her hiking boots and dog to avoid sliding off her fabulous furry sofa whilst wearing the World Famous Freaking Green Elf Shorts which are made from the finest polyester velvet!”

    You have your work cut out for you, Ms Scarlet. I’m so excited to find out where the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts will end up next!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. Scarlet Post author

    Mr Device – I know, I am umming and RR-ing. I am also toying with the idea of holding a series competitions for stuff that people don’t want to win.
    Sx
    P.S Thank you for more or less writing my next blog post! All I have to do is a bit of cut and paste and a little editing and it’s done!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. lisleman

      Ah so you are just tricking us into writing your next post. Well you should include a notice of your plan so that we can plan around your plan. The vortex of planning might blow us all away.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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