Happy New Year!!!!! And welcome to THE FREAKIN’ GREEN ELF SHORTS COMPETITION!!!!!!
A rough guide to the competition:-
The legend of the FGES [Freakin’ Green Elf shorts] began in Ohio, USA in 2004 when Andrea Knapp (a British ex-pat) bought a pair of novelty Elf Shorts for her husband George as a gag gift. For a laugh, Andrea took a photograph of George wearing the shorts and posted the pic on her blog. Andrea then decided to turn it into a caption competition, not thinking ANYONE would want to win them…. and the rest is Blogging history.
The general idea of the ‘Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts’ Caption Competition is to post a photo of yourself on your blog, wearing THE SHORTS.
Whoever comes up with the best caption wins THE SHORTS.
The current holder of THE SHORTS then sends the winner THE SHORTS and a few souvenirs from their country.
A definitive history of THE SHORTS can be found HERE. Many thanks to Rimpy for this incredibly detailed history!
So, without further ado, here is my photograph for you to caption…..
You have until Saturday 15th January 2022 to caption the photograph by leaving a comment on this post with your entry. The winner will be announced on Sunday 16th January 2022 [GMT].
GOOD LUCK!!!!
{ G a s p }
It… It’s happening! It’s really happening!!!
I’m so excited! What a marvellous start to 2022 – thank you Ms Scarlet, and Happy New Year!
I shall come back many, many times with captions I should think (but they won’t be for consideration in the compo as I don’t want to accidentally win them again).
Hooray!
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I know, Mr Devine!!! I’m as surprised as you are!! I shall look forward to your repeated entries! I will also make a note that you don’t wish to win them again.
Sx
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Oh, rapture! Oh, joy! Thank you, Ms. Scarlet!
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Rimpy – You’re welcome – I couldn’t cope with another year of FGES anxiety! Mine, and yours.
Sx
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LOL. By the way, I DO wish to win them, if I can. Love the couch!
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Flattery will get you everywhere!!!
Sx
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Happy New Year!
Nice boots and sofa. 🙂
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Thank you, Mr Batarde! Happy New Year!
You might have the winning caption with that comment 🙂
Sx
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I love your cushion!
Good luck ridding yourself of the shorts, and Happy New Year! X
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Thank you, Eryl! I am quite liking these captions regarding my soft furnishings – it is possible for such a comment to win! I will rid myself of the shorts by hook or crook…
Happy New Year!!!
Sx
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Goodness, that’s quite enough about your soft furnishings. I thought this was a respectable blog.
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Dr. Scarlet Jinglepants, of the NHS, has isolated the original Corona virus and rendered it harmless with her own cocktail of bleach, pure light, horse de-wormer, and Pfizer/Moderna/Astra-Zeneca vaccines, thus saving humanity.
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Did Rimpy win yet?
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Are you asking for a friend?
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Yes, I’m asking for a friend. Ha!
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“Turn your head, please, but DON’T cough!”
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THAT’S definitely the winning entry.
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Rimpy – Bravo!!!! For the first proper caption!
Sx
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“Now, you may feel a little pinch…”
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Scarlet’s dog is thinking, “I don’t think this is how you make Christmas pudding, mom.”
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‘Dr Edwina Elfshorts* prepares her latest giant-Ferrero-Rocher-extract treatment for the Infomaniac House of Beauty’
* I had to resort to this previously used name because Rimpy’s amazing “Dr Scarlet Jinglepants” has seen off any original efforts that I might have made.
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“Dr. Scarlet Jinglepants” … heeheehee. Very funny, Mr. DeVice.
p.s. I don’t want The Shorts either! Please make a note.
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Ms Mistress – I have a ton of notes and not many entries, but I have a cunning plan.
Sx
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Thank you, IDV!
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‘The only hope Ms Scarlet had of putting on enough weight to keep the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts up without using a belt, was to perform liposuction on a giant Ferrero Rocher and devour the extract.’
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I missed the whole FGES “thing” when it first emerged, and remain baffled as to why anyone would want the things – so I shall avoid placing a “witty” caption here for fear they may end up singing their way to the previously unsullied Dolores Delargo Towers…
I look forward to reading other people’s efforts to win the contest, however! Jx
PS Fab photo, btw!
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Jon, it’s impossible for you NOT to make a witty caption.
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I agree!
Why would I want anything from someone who gives
enemas to their xmas ornaments before storing them?
(and yes, wordpress forced me to add an “n”.)
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Ms Norma – I think the shorts would look well on a Corgi.
WordPress is a law unto itself!
Sx
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Oh, come on, Jon! We’ve seen you in shorts before so we know you’ve got the legs for them.
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Agreed!! It’s okay Jon, please feel free to caption away and I promise I won’t make you the winner!
Sxx
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They’re the right colour to match my varicose veins. Jx
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Jon – They seem to clash with mine!
Sx
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I do believe Norma might have win single handily without even trying! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I WOULD like to see The Shorts on a Corgi.
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If anyone thinks I’ve won, here’s my address:
normadesmond
c/o Mar-A-Lago
Trumplandia, FL
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Ms Norma – I shall send them post haste!!
Sx
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I guess sometimes even glitter balls need Botox injections.
Hahaha. Nice to “see” you and I like the couch!
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Mel’s – Some like it smooth and shiny.
Sx
P.S Thank goodness the face mask hides a multitude of saggy, baggy stuff!
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I have been terrified of winning those damned shorts, for various reasons, but now have an even BIGGER reason not to want them.
So, in the event they do end up here, perhaps Rimpy and I could do an under-the-radar deal?
Oh! You want a caption! Um…
“Somehow, in a beaurocratic cock-up, the FGES have gone to some outpost of Empire and Tony Blair has got a Knighthood! “
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I’m listening.
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Dinah – The shorts have an unfortunate relationship with Australia, so it might be the best option…. and I can feel Rimpy’s eyes burning into my soul….
Sx
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Just had a thought…The Mistress wants to see the FGES on a corgi, therefore I suggest she politely turn down her OBE and ask HM to join the competition. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be the Widow at Windsor II.
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Haha – It’ll be cheaper to send the shorts to Buck House than to the US! Good idea!!
Sx
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Bwahahahahahahahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!
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Aussie issues ? Maybe an “emotional” MsScarlet just remembers her days down under …
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Mr Mags – I’m referring to how the original pair are lost in Australia! Where is your caption? I don’t think the shorts have been to Germany yet – just saying.
Sx
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‘Desperate for a wee – and using the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to soak up any unintended leakages – Ms Scarlet applies the final speck of glitter to her artisinal Christmas bauble that she started making six months ago. She should finish the set of six by 2024…’
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Haha!!!!! Steady, Mr Devine, or I might break my word and make you the winner…. but, you’d probably recieve the shorts in 2035, so no worries!!!
Sx
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I don’t care to win anything but some ephemeral fame. Here’s 3 caption ideas:
After deep thought of her past flying trampoline problems, Scarlet creates decorative weights to give her trampoline neighbors.
Scarlet taps into her secret cache of Cognac.
Another attempt to capture the spirit of Christmas.
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Bill – I like a shot of Cognac.
Sx
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Does nobody want to get in to your elf shorts?
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Kylie – It appears not!
Sx
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hAPPY nEW YEAR TOOTS!!!!! I, like many wonder why anyone would want these damn ugly things, err, I mean wonderful fashionable bloomers…and heavens only knows what the hell is on/in them. And can they even be shipped into ports of other countries in this time of covid??? And have they had their vaccines? I mean they must be a petri dish by now?
But I’m game. “This will only be a small prick, I promise.”
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Happy New Year, Mistress B!!! You want those shorts really, you are just playing hard to get – imagine how they will look with your rubber gloves????!!!
Sxx
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Hey, I’m a good sport and will model if I have too. In the meantime, I’m already in talks with Dr Fauci to have the things, captured at the border, quarantined and fumigated should I win.
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Mistress B – You might need a seamstress as well as I seem to have lost a bell, I think it’s under my bed somewhere – the less said the better.
Sx
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Missing???? LOL. I heard you jingle when you skip.
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If Beastie gets over Covid he might don the Gloves and give them a whirl!
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Dinah – Has he caught it again? No, Mr Beastie is barred from the competition as if he won I would end up doing it again!
Sx
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I think he’s ok, but he did post this http://beastbite.blogspot.com/2021/12/happy-new-year.html
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Dinah – Bless’im! Ms Nations is nowhere to be seen – she’d do a fab job with the shorts. Sigh. Never mind.
Sx
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What Jon in his first comment applies to me too.
I don’t think I could cope with the responsibility and besides cheap shoddy fabrics brings me out in hives.
I had a very similar throw, purchased from House of Fraser I would drape it off the shoulders with my hands on my hips a la Joan Collins in The Bitch, sans chauffeurs cap. It didn’t look the same after I machined washed it.
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Mitzi – I will try draping my throw! Damn it, why did I not have the imagination to think of that? I would have 20years ago. Mine has been washed repeatedly – not too shoddy, but not as well as a smaller one I have from Next. I wash them with Woolite on a woollen setting.
Sx
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“These damned vape pens are so hard to refill!”
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Rimpy – That is so something I would say!!!
Sx
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You can bring elegance to any pose. I hope your 2022 is filled with a range of pleasing treats 🙂
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My ass is too big for the shorts, hand over the Botox…or better yet share a snifter of that secret cognac Bill mentioned you having. 🙂
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‘Sid looks away in shame as, clad in the Freaking Green Elf Shorts, Ms Scarlet rubs her bum back and forth across the sofa throw in an effort to generate enough static electricity to light up a Christmas bauble.’
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“Scarlet, so lithe, winsome, and delicate had to resort to using her hiking boots and dog to avoid sliding off her fabulous furry sofa whilst wearing the World Famous Freaking Green Elf Shorts which are made from the finest polyester velvet!”
(Huzzah, I entered on TIME for a change thanks to you know who you are, sweetpea!)
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So many great captions! I think they’re all fabulous – especially one or two that probably aren’t captions – here are some of my favourites so far (not that my opinion means anything, of course):
Batarde’s “Nice boots and sofa.” – I imagine it said like Worf does, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvOyaO-MLGQ
Norma(n)’s “Why would I want anything from someone who gives enemas to their xmas ornaments before storing them?”
lisleman’s “Scarlet taps into her secret cache of Cognac.”
Maddie’s “This will only be a small prick, I promise.”
Rimpy’s “These damned vape pens are so hard to refill!” (And I LOVE “Dr Scarlet Jinglepants”!)
and Savvy’s “Scarlet, so lithe, winsome, and delicate had to resort to using her hiking boots and dog to avoid sliding off her fabulous furry sofa whilst wearing the World Famous Freaking Green Elf Shorts which are made from the finest polyester velvet!”
You have your work cut out for you, Ms Scarlet. I’m so excited to find out where the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts will end up next!
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Mr Device – I know, I am umming and RR-ing. I am also toying with the idea of holding a series competitions for stuff that people don’t want to win.
Sx
P.S Thank you for more or less writing my next blog post! All I have to do is a bit of cut and paste and a little editing and it’s done!
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Ah so you are just tricking us into writing your next post. Well you should include a notice of your plan so that we can plan around your plan. The vortex of planning might blow us all away.
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Bill – I think I will hold a competition for people to write all my posts! It could become a thing.
Sx
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Once a year the busy elves fill Santa’s balls with Christmas cheer so he can spread it high and low over the face of the world.
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Hayward!!!! You are moments too late with this most excellent caption as the winner has just been announced! Never mind. Sigh.
Sx
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I’m late to the party but you certainly picked the right winner! Happy New Year to you, 14 days late! 😉
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Happy New Year to you too!!!
Sx
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