How to write a blog post….

I had lost my memory. AGAIN. Appalling. I had forgotten that I was an artistic genius of unparalleled proportions; that I was from a tiny village called Mogwash; and that my most recent artworks were made from vintage ephemera and ripped up books – but worst of all, I’d forgotten that I was the highly intelligent, yet modest author, of the much loved Wonky Words blog.

Months had gone by without me writing so much as a note to the bin men [I often do as I like to explain things]. The notion of writing a blog post felt heavy on my shoulders, and, I’d forgotten how. One voice in my head said: Just slap up some photos. Another said: Rehash a post from 1957. Voice 46 said: You’ll be fine, start typing and something will turn up. Voice 209 started having a row with voice 19 and I couldn’t make sense of what they were saying at all – perhaps something about putting things on chairs? Trampolines?? No idea.

Thankfully, it appeared that during October/November I had completed a couple of collages, and several photographs of these were languishing in my photo file….

collage-calligraphy-uk

collage-and-calligraphy

I’d also been busy turning my studio into a fairy grotto…

fairy-lights-and-rag-curtains-uk

…and observing hedgehogs interacting with fawns….

…and making demons for a Halloween gardening event.

I had obviously been very busy indeed. But something was nagging at me, I had forgotten something important. My knee twitched, and then I remembered….

*To be continued.

*I will set an alarm to remind me.

40 thoughts on “How to write a blog post….

  1. Inexplicable DeVice

    Yay! First!!

    I can’t remember the last time I was first here – if I ever was? Anyway, I am totally expecting that by the time I’ve typed this out someone else will have beaten me to it, in which case: Yay! 17th!!
    I think something drew me here – “something important”? I am teetering on the edge of my chair (which I’m not sharing with any books – at the moment, anyway) in anticipation!

    Anyway, him that was supposed to be flying out to Afghanistan is rather cute. Although he should lose the cardigan – it’s too big.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Inexplicable DeVice

      Oh, and I must admit to right-clicking and then embiggening the photo of your fairy grotto in order to see if I could spy the beginnings of some new work of artistic genius (of unparalleled proportions, of course) on your desk in the reflection. Sadly, it did not embiggen enough.
      Although, is that a Post-it on the back of your laptop reminding you to set an alarm to remind you to remember the “something important”?

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Scarlet Post author

        Mr Devine – That is indeed a Post-it-Note on the back of my laptop. It is a dying laptop, and the power button no longer functions as it ought to, so it mustn’t be pressed, and the lid must never be closed or the world ends. I suppose that is sort of important, so I made a note and stuck it on my laptop.
        Sx

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    2. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – Those were the days! Of people clamouring to be first, that is.
      Something important… what was it?! I’m sure I will remember in time for my next post.
      Don’t you think that He Who Is Flying Out shares more than a passing resemblance to Mr Bean?
      All my cardigans are too big – I am not going to lose them despite what my admirers might think on the quiet, or not so quiet.
      Sx

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      1. 63mago

        I am sorry, dearest MsScarlet, but I can not tell more about the “twitching knee”. The HdA of course has a lemma “Knie” / “knee”, but sadly says nothing about a twitching knee. There are recipes what to with the dirt one scraps off the knee etc., but no twitch. “Twithing” or “zucken” is summarised in the article about “jucken” or “itching”, the twitch becomes an itch, sorry. Following the medieval specialised literature (“Zuckungsbücher””) the meaning of body parts’ twitch is described, with the notable exclusion of the knee (!) – it’s cursed.
        Sadly I could not reach the work of Hermann DIELS : Beiträge zur Zuckungsliteratur des Okzidents und Orients, Berlin 1909. In the end you will have to grab your own Melampus and read the palomancy (divination by twitches) yourself. Again, sorry that I could not be more helpful.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Scarlet Post author

        Thank you for trying, Mr Mags, perhaps I should walk more often. Apologies if I have already replied to this… I will check. I seem to have lost the plot. Again.
        Sx

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      3. Scarlet Post author

        It has stopped twitching now, Mr Mags, which is possibly a bad sign in relation to blog posts. I am in a mood – it will last 9 days and take no prisoners.
        Sx

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  2. Mistress Borghese

    Oh thank heaven it is you!!! I thought maybe for a minute your blog was hijacked sweet cheeks.

    And your newest project with vintage photos and quotes is stunning. Shops in New Hope would sell sets of those Im sure. I still need to email you to get your address for my Christmas list, if I remember. I don’t know where my mind is somedays.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mistress B – Thank you! l am gearing up for Christmas, my nibs are on standby, my ink is stirred, my glue is warming AND I have a very nice selection of big golden balls!
      We will do this! We will exchange seasonal pleasantries via the medium of snail mail!
      Sx

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  3. dinahmow

    Fairy grotto? With dinky little twinkles? Doesn;t sound like the fairies I know. Ugly old hags, with a stub o’ power-cut-candle gummed into a Marmite jar.
    But yours looks pretty. And CLEAN!!!!!!
    See? I’m all bothered now. It’s the fact that I am a bit slack in the blogging business. I suppose I could tackle that…But really, bed is more appealing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Dinah – I think I beat you to the slackest Blogger award this month – I think you’ve written two posts to my one post. I really mean to up my game but, as you say, bed is more appealing!
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Jon

    I had a vague recollection in my mind of an esoteric calligrapher from Mogwash who used to post ramblings from her inner consciousness. Then Jake from Essex reminded me that this was just a snapshot of my old life, And then he paused… Jx

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. looby

    I have just finished a long shift at work, but i’m having difficulty (I have many difficulties) in working out what the fawns are doing with the hedgehogs, or vice versa. Or is “vice” the operative word here, in which case I will trust you to explain the picture sensitively.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Looby – I think the hedgehogs are giant sized and they are devouring the poor fawn – no more, no less, no vice like grip! I hope this is a sensitive enough explanation? It was for Halloween – no sweet chestnuts were harmed in the making of this demonic photograph.
      Sx

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  6. melaniereynolds

    Love the vintage card projects! My fairy balls are bigger, of course, this is America. I strung mine in the living room like a proud cat. At least the menfolk I share this place with seem pleased. Did they think I would threaten to string theirs? If I put all the books I’m technically “in the middle of” right now I’d break the chair.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Melanie! I enjoy the vintage card projects – I should have more coming up soon.
      Ah – I have confused you – the lights you see in this post are NOT my balls! I will devote a whole new post to my balls as their size surprised me when they arrived – too big for the tree, so may have to be dangled from the ceiling or carefully arranged in a massive bowl, Mistress Maddie style.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. melaniereynolds

        It’s been a chaotic few days for me. Confusion on some topic or other was inevitable. I’m glad it was just over your balls though and nothing more serious like forgetting my kid somewhere. Bwhahaha.

        Like

  7. Nick Rogers

    I thought the advice from voice 153 was brilliant. Just follow the instructions and the blog posts will come pouring out ad nauseam. As for voice 97, that’s complete nonsense from start to finish. Follow that and you’ll rush screaming from the house pleading for mercy.

    I hope Sandra gets over the sudden shock and can stifle the sobbing. A stiff drink might help.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – All these voices and so few ears!!! No wonder there is so much muddlement in the Blogosphere.
      A stiff drink always helps, though Sandra might benefit from a slap with a wet kipper/large piece of skate/cod fish finger [delete as applicable].
      Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Ducks – We can be Mr and Mrs Re-Hash! No harm in a rehash as people have short memories – to be fair I can’t remember writing a third of the posts on this blog!
      Sx

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  8. Kylie

    My knees regularly twitch, I mean twinge, well it’s basically the same, right? Anyways, I’m wondering what they are trying to remind me of………golden balls? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a golden ball…….oh, wait, that’s not what you meant

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Kylie – Don’t worry, I’m going to have a post dedicated to Golden Balls in time for Christmas! They will be Golden Balls of the pretty variety though!
      Sx

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      Reply
  9. lisleman

    Well our American eating/shopping holiday has occupied our time around here. My main focus during this holiday is avoiding detection and being assigned some task.
    Reading your description of the voices had me wondering if it was Alice from the Looking Glass explaining her trip.
    Would it be more proper to call these golden objects, orbs?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      They are definitely balls, Bill, golden balls!
      It’s a shopping, noshing festival, isn’t it? We’ve joined in with the shopping, but the powers that be won’t let people have a day off for the noshing – give it 10 years, and the UK will have a version of Thanksgiving!
      I need to read The Looking Glass again – thanks for the reminder.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

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