Turning Japanese

Er…. well, I missed a day, but we are all friends here. My days are longer than other people’s and sometimes they can stretch to as long as a week. Obviously the word ‘Daily’ is subjective…. and perhaps I should substitute it with a more realistic word, such as ‘Frequent’?

Anyhow, moving swiftly on, I had something very exciting planned for today that would have had EVERYBODY sitting on the edge of their seats and hanging on my every word, BUT, that idea has gone tits up now. I will save it for another day. My email account stopped me in my tracks.

I deactivated my Twitter account in 2013, but ever since I have been receiving messages from Twitter in Japanese, I simply mark them as spam – I thought they were from some sort of scammer trying to get me to click on a dodgy link, so I’d mark them as spam and then delete. How sensible of me. Today I took a closer look at one of these Twitter emails and, investigated further…. okay, so the upshot is that someone in Japan has been using my email address for their Twitter account for the past 4 years. Sigh. I’ve now managed to change the password on this account and I am now the proud owner of a Japanese Twitter account… I have logged out of it, which was tricky because I can’t read Japanese and even the ‘translate’ button was difficult to find; I am not sure what would’ve happened if I’d fiddled in the settings. The thing is I’d like to deactivate it, but I feel like I’d be walking into somebody else’s house if I log in again…. which just goes to show the sort of soppy date I really am! I’d also really, really like to know how this happened…. did someone, back in 2013, hack my email account??? Questions, questions… surely Twitter would have sent me a confirmation email… in Japanese??? I would have deleted that.

Advice please.

Turning Japanese from Waver 80 on Vimeo.

If anyone would like further details, then… er… please email me. In English.

51 thoughts on “Turning Japanese

  1. LẌ

    “Daily” as an euphemism for “Well, maybe more often.”

    Maybe that little Twitter mix up is an opportunity to break into the dodgy world of Anime, sushi porn, or something?

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Lax – Well, Mistress MJ did suggest that we all find out about differing cultures didn’t she?!
      Seriously though, what should I do with it? I don’t want anything to do with Twitter 😦
      Sx

      Reply
  2. Amylouiseletters

    Continue to post your version of “daily” and scoff at anyone who says you’re not. It’s all about confidence with a touch of condescension.

    As far as the twitter email Japan thing. Ignore it and the twinges that you should not ignore it that come at odd hours.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Hello, Amy!!! Where have you been?? I have missed you!
      I have just this minute deactivated the Japanese Twitter account. I had to copy and paste the Japanese settings into the Google translate box…. so then I could change the Twitter settings into English, and bold as brass they were using my email address… I changed that before I deactivated it. So, after 4 years, I will stop getting Japanese notifications from Twitter. Phew. I have a bit of a headache now.
      Sx

      Reply
  3. IDV

    Japanese Twitter? Ha! If you’d like a longer grace period between posts, you’ll need to move further afield than Japan. Pluto, for instance, where a day lasts the equivalent of 6.4 Earth days. Or Mercury (58 Earth days). Or even Venus when you feeling particularly slovenly (nearly 117 Earth days).

    I am now wondering if I shouldn’t be dumping all those emails saying I’ve won £500 in my spam folder then deleting them? Or those ones from the Canadian pharmacy promising a larger and more durable thingy… (I do wonder if Justin Trudeau knows about this? Or if The Very Mistress is keeping him silenced somehow…).

    Reply
  4. Scarlet Post author

    Sigh. I have just moved from Venus to Uranus, Mr Devine…. I think this might explain everything.
    Please continue to dump those emails…. although should they be genuine then you should be sending all monies to me. Obviously.
    Sx

    Reply
  5. batarde

    I was already on the edge of my seat, all day yesterday – but happily Bulldog Drummond managed to extricate himself from that tricky situation with the gorilla. Gripping stuff.

    Am I to take it that there are four years’ worth of tweets in Japanese ostensibly from one Scarlet Blue? Wonder what they say – could be that your alter ego has been systematically insulting Yakuza bosses in your name all this time, which would be very cheeky of them.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thankfully his user name was unrelated to the email address, Mr Batarde! I was tempted to have a little chirrup whilst I was there, but decided to simply reclaim my email, mess his shop up and do a runner…. like old times really. It still bothers me why Twitter didn’t alert me to this via a confirmation email 4 years ago. 4 years!!!
      Sx

      Reply
  6. dinahmow

    Oh dear…I’ve been beamed up to another dimension.A strange world of 1920s heroes and 21st century Japanese email bandits (quite possibly brain-washed by Donald Trump who is known to have his minions in Twitterland) and now I can’t remember what I came here for.
    Is there any coffee?

    Reply
      1. Scarlet Post author

        No money was demanded… that’s the weird thing…. I can’t figure why my email address was used to open someone else’s Twitter account. It is most peculiar. Maybe it is some kind of psychological test to see how victims such as me respond….
        Yep, I’ll be in the pub….
        Sx

  7. Jon

    Speaking of dodgy (emails or otherwise) – did you know that the lyrics of “Turning Japanese” are apparently about masturbation? Jx

    Reply
  8. lisleman

    a variable length day – is that like the phone booth (is there a different British term?) on Dr. Who that is bigger on the inside than the outside?
    Japanese hacker or maybe a bilingual hacker – weird. Not that this could cosmically be related but my tech challenged mother-in-law once managed to make her cellphone voicemail only give and accept Spanish instructions. It took many customers service calls to fix it and we still don’t know how it happened.

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Bill – The Tardis is an old fashioned Police Box…. so we used the word ‘Box’ instead of ‘Booth’. ‘Booth’ sounds far too swanky for the Brits, plus it smacks of leather seating, Martinis, and Joan Collins crossing her legs in a 70’s B-flick.
      Where was I…. crikey yes… as soon as tech is accidentally put into another language it becomes almost unusable and looks really scary. I sometimes knock a button on my TV remote that enables subtitles…. I spend the next 5hours trying to find the button to turn them off.
      Sx

      Reply
      1. lisleman

        “leather seating, Martinis, and Joan Collins crossing her legs in a 70’s B-flick” – thanks for that image. I might add it to my dreams tonight.
        I don’t like subtitles. It distracts me from looking at those crossed legs.

  9. nick

    Never had a Twitter account and never been hacked so can”t really help. I could tell you all about bogus emails from banks asking for my log-in details, or bogus emails from BT saying my phone line will be cut off shortly, but I expect you get those as well.

    Reply
  10. 63mago

    My advice is :

    a) Don the red kimono (the one for incantations)
    b) Step outside
    c) Turn towards Nippon
    d) Bow three times
    e) Stretch your arms out and yell at the top of your lungs : KALAHARIKIRI
    f) Repeat two times
    g) Put your arms back down
    h) Bow three times to end the ritual properly
    i) Go back in in a dignified way
    j) Change back into other clothes

    Good Luck !

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      I do this every morning, Mr Mags, obviously. Although Sid isn’t keen on the yelling bit, and the bull in the field opposite has his eye on my kimono.
      Sx

      Reply
      1. 63mago

        And still … ?
        Is there the slight possibility that you mispronounced the “call” ?
        It is not “KallAhHarry” or “KallHairyHarry”. Also “KalahariWeary” or “KarikiriDairy” are not the right thing. In fact I do not know what their effects would be, perhaps IDV can shed some light on this.
        In the end, I guess & hope, your Japanese troubles are solved. There is always “KalamriFritti”, but I think we should ask Mr Nikos about this first.

  11. Eryl Shields

    Maybe it was just a typo that caused a perfectly respectable Japanese shoe salesman to use your email to create his Twitter account, and now he’s wondering what on earth has happened! X

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      Eryl – Indeed, I don’t feel that the owner of the account was malicious…. BUT, Twitter is supposed to send a confirmation email to open the account – one that I’ve never seen, so how he ended up using my email is a mystery. Silly Twitter 🙂
      Sx

      Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      I just wanted to get in and out of the account as soon as possible…. I had visions of meeting the impersonator in there!! I checked that the Japanese were all in bed when I logged in 🙂 !!!
      Sx

      Reply
  12. iangoldsmith

    Great song! That’s really funny. Couldn’t you have claimed the account and posted your own content, might have been… an opportunity. I hardly use Twitter any more, it seems to take endless massaging to get any real interaction. Perhaps tweeting in Japanese is the way forward.

    Reply
  13. Princess

    Hello Miss Scarlett,
    I have been quite slack when it comes to both posting irregularly and gadding about so see what other blogger mates have been up to… I’ve just caught up with your recent postings. Your calligraphy exploits reminded me of a series of books that contained a series of postcards and a mysterious story involving two characters “Griffin and Sabine” I’m not sure if you are familiar with it or not. It might be worth a google… Your enchanting walks with Sidney look lovely… whilst having the opportunity to encounter your bovine neighbours… What does Sid make of them?
    Love Px

    Reply
    1. Scarlet Post author

      I shall Google, Ms Princess, and thank you for the recommendations!! I am drawn to mysterious stories. This whole blog is a mystery to me!! I really ought to devote some more time to my blog…. but I have an Emperor and an Empress in my life and they have been very demanding lately!
      Sx

      Reply

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