Dear Scarlet,

I am 50 tomorrow, what does this mean for me?

I look forward to your insight,

Kindest Regards,

Mrs Karen Rogers

Hello Karen, and thank you for your enquiry. I reached this milestone way back in March. I had a filthy cold and didn’t make much of it… but, to date, this is what I have noticed:-

1) You will suddenly find yourself labelled as a ‘Baby Boomer’, and derided as such. Technically this is incorrect. 1964 is considered to be the cut off date for the Baby Boomer generation. To be fair you are in the ‘Just Missed the Boat’ generation. Be grateful that you’re not in the ‘Can’t See the Boat for Looking’ generation, or the ‘What Boat?’ generation.
Your formative years were the seventies and eighties. In November 1979 UK interest rates were 17%. In 1982, when you left school, unemployment topped 3 million. Your teachers didn’t believe you’d get a job and you were not encouraged to go to university as you were deemed to be too stupid.

2) You grew up looking a bit like THIS, but magazines and fashion blogs are now advising you to look like THIS, because this is what real women look like. Please note that clothes for real women generally only come in size 12 and above.

3) For some reason even though you grew up listening to this…

… it is now generally assumed that your age group prefers something along the lines of this…

4) You will find yourself becoming increasingly disconcerted about joining the over fifty demographic, and you will feel the desire to write ranty blog posts about your dissatisfaction.

Basically, Karen, it appears that there is a pervasive mindset that equates being over 50 with being born in the 1850’s. Sigh. Obviously everyone is still crap at maths.
My advice? Stick two fingers up at the lot of them [didn’t we always?]. Do what you want, wear what you want, be who you want to be. It is time to redefine what being over 50 means. And here is my contribution to the redefinition. Here is my 50-year-old bum in a pair of skinny jeans…

I hope this helps,

Warmest Regards,

Scarlet x

P.S Happy Birthday!!!