When Work is Finally Over….

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….what will you do?

….I will spend all my time writing to Scottish Widows trying to locate my LOST pension policy, that’s what I’ll do…. actually I won’t because I have found it!!!! In the attic. In a box that hasn’t been opened since the mid-nineties. And it is no longer with Scottish Widows, so I have been bestowing calligraphic bribes upon them that they do not deserve.

Anyhow, this begs the question: When work is finally over, what will you do? What will I do?

I think I might blog more. The 10 days I spent blogging were uplifting, and quite frankly, it’s all I can afford! I might have an ice cream every now and then as well.

ChArmaIne2: Your Ultimate AI Storyteller | Engage Readers With Enthralling Content…

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Let us return to the subject of ChArmaIne2, my new AI assistant. I was wondering what I could use her for. I think we all might be able to use her as some sort of story teller, or if you need a reference for a new job she’ll be able to craft something for you that’s perfect. She is nothing like my original Charmaine.

I asked her to write about Jon, and this is a snippet of what she said….

Today, I want to introduce you to an extraordinary individual – Jon. He is someone who exudes passion, resilience, and unwavering determination in everything he pursues. Whether it’s his professional endeavours or personal aspirations, Jon leaves an indelible mark with his remarkable presence.

She could go on, and on, and on…. unfortunately she thought that Dinah was a family pet, so she does get a little muddled sometimes. But, for comparison, this is what she said about Mr Devine:-

As we delve into the world of Mr. Devine, we are certain to unearth a treasure trove of wisdom, insight, and inspiration. Join us as we celebrate the extraordinary achievements of this visionary genius, and discover the profound impact he has had on our creative landscape.

And then I asked her to write a short story about a kipper tie and a pair of stockings:-

The kipper tie and the pair of stockings had long resided in Mrs. Pendleton’s antique trunk, a treasure trove of bygone artifacts. Mrs. Pendleton, an elegant lady of discerning taste, had once regaled her admirers with tales of the tie’s flamboyant debut at a lavish soirée and the stockings’ bewitching allure on a moonlit ballroom floor.

One fateful afternoon, young Evelyn, Mrs. Pendleton’s vivacious granddaughter, stumbled upon the forgotten relics and was instantly captivated by their vintage charm. With mischief twinkling in her eyes, she envisioned an audacious escapade that would breathe new life into these relics of yesteryear.

Evelyn, with a daring spirit reminiscent of her grandmother’s heyday, orchestrated an extravagant tableau, blending the retro appeal of the kipper tie with the tantalizing allure of the stockings. The tie, resplendent in its flamboyant hues of orange and gold; its couture patterns; and extravagant width, found an unexpected harmony with the sleek elegance of the sheer stockings, adorned with intricate lace accents and whispered promises of bygone bed chambers.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, Evelyn donned the kipper tie with an irreverent charm, weaving its opulent extravagance with the seductive silk of the stockings. With each confident step, she exuded the timeless magnetism of an era long past, infusing the present with a dash of vintage whimsy.

I have changed a few words around, as I got fed up with all the ‘bygone allure’ going on! But this is 98% ChArmaIne2. Now imagine this tool in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. I will stop now [I could play with this tool forever as I find it endlessly entertaining], but if you’d like ChArmaIne2 to write about something specific then please leave a request in the comment box and I will ask her to write some replies.

No, No, No, No, No!

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I have mellowed in my old age, especially when it comes to disagreeing with others. Once upon a time in response to something silly said by someone else I would enact a dramatic eye roll and mutter an audible FFS into the air. I had little patience, and at times I was accused of being aggressive when defending my beliefs. These days I am a pussy cat.

Take for example a recent excursion into an informal gathering of disparate personalities. Within my earshot someone made a foolish, fact free statement – did I roll my eyes and mutter FFS? No I did not, I simply responded in a sing-song tinkling voice: no-no-no-no-no! and excused myself from the dining table to have a quiet vape in the garden.

Later, the conversation moved on to politics – the UK is having an election this year – and again points of view were aired that I didn’t necessarily agree with, again I brought my sing-song no-no-no-no-no to the fore, and then immediately wandered off leaving in my wake a person with no one to argue with. I like this new me! All I need is an oversized floppy hat with a jaunty brooch and I will have morphed into a quintessential eccentric older lady.

I think I like this new character I am becoming. I used to be concerned about my greying hair, and my extra wrinkles and I used to wish I had the money to shore up my chins in the manner of Davinia McCall, or Amanda Holden, but using Miriam Margolyes as a role model is a lot more fun! And I can also eat as much cake as I like. Trying to defy the ageing process is expensive and hard work – and does it ever really fool anyone? I think people have to be blessed with some pretty good genes in the first place for it to make much impact.

My message today is to work with what you’ve got – and if you’re average like me, bugger it all, do what you like – let your character develop and run free – indulge your eccentricities; wear a hat; write decorative letters to financial institutions who couldn’t give a toss where your pension is; put all your furniture on wheels; and most importantly – don’t sit through one sided conversations out of politeness when you’d rather be doing something more interesting instead.

Did you know that David Bowie wrote the first set of lyrics for My Way? They were rejected, and eventually Paul Anka bought the rights to the melody and wrote the lyrics himself.
Bowie wrote Life on Mars in retaliation. I prefer Life on Mars.

It’s a Wrap!!!

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I did it!!!! Jon will be back either today or tomorrow and we can all go back to normal. Phew!

I was going to use this post to waffle on about my new AI assistant, ChArmaIne2, but I think this is best saved for next week, by which time she will have turned my Bottled posts into a 850,000 word novel – yes, she is that quick!!

I think this exercise in daily blogging has actually been good for my mental health as it’s prevented me from dwelling on my usual worries – worries that I can do little about. I also like the natural flow that comes with writing back to back posts – so maybe I will take up cluster blogging, who knows. I don’t really want to fall back into my one post every 2 months routine!

Anyhow, thank you for your patience!!

I will leave you now with 67 words of calligraphy, all spelt correctly and in the right order, and a view of me running across the fields to my house for a well earned rest….

copperplate calligraphy

Oops…I am just out of shot.

Next Week: ChArmaIne2 writes 5 novels and a TV series; A Scottish Widows Update; and, Which Wellies are Best? – an in-depth report on rubber footwear.

Half-baked and Soggy…

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Today’s post is not fit for consumption, it is half-baked with a soggy bottom, and is missing a vital ingredient, so I will let it languish in my drafts file until I have the nutrients to bring it to life.

BUT…. I am on post no.9!!!! Post 9!!!! I have posted 9 days in a row!!! Obviously I am saving my thoughts about this for tomorrow!

Today I bring you TWO Ancient Vermillion Proverbs and a Youtube. Hopefully the proverbs will bring enlightenment to your day, and the Youtube will make you dance/sing/roll your eyes/change your understanding of life, or whatever.

Ancient Vermillion Proverbs

A day is only as long as an arm in a sleeve.

Silence is golden, but noise has colour and silvery shrieks.

You see! I can do deep and meaningful!! Just like Richard Harris….

First verse and chorus only – look up the rest if you feel the urge, but surely the striped pair of pants have something to do with Mistress MJ??

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love’s hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh no!

Until tomorrow!!!

Three Sentences and a Photo….

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I went to Bude yesterday – did I take a photo of the wonderful vista of the Atlantic Ocean glistening on the horizon as we approached the town, or did I take a very bad photo of a stuffed bird perched in the window of a curiosity shop for Mitzi?

Shop window in Bude

I was trying to get background objects into the shot, but the sun defeated me. Meanwhile, does anyone need a whale vertebra?

Ack. I need to write another sentence. I also went to Homeleigh Garden centre to buy Geraniums, and they had these huge log baskets on casters – I was entranced. It was in this moment that I realised that my old lady thing is going to be self propelling items of furniture….. but it’s on wheels, I muttered over and over.
I would link to the baskets but the Homeleigh website is as insane and confusing as the place itself. Every Homeleigh is as big as a small village – you can spend days in there as you desperately search for exit signs. The store at Launceston even has its own hairdressers!
Soz, I was only aiming for three sentences and seem to have gotten rolled away…