Let us return to the subject of ChArmaIne2, my new AI assistant. I was wondering what I could use her for. I think we all might be able to use her as some sort of story teller, or if you need a reference for a new job she’ll be able to craft something for you that’s perfect. She is nothing like my original Charmaine.
I asked her to write about Jon, and this is a snippet of what she said….
Today, I want to introduce you to an extraordinary individual – Jon. He is someone who exudes passion, resilience, and unwavering determination in everything he pursues. Whether it’s his professional endeavours or personal aspirations, Jon leaves an indelible mark with his remarkable presence.
She could go on, and on, and on…. unfortunately she thought that Dinah was a family pet, so she does get a little muddled sometimes. But, for comparison, this is what she said about Mr Devine:-
As we delve into the world of Mr. Devine, we are certain to unearth a treasure trove of wisdom, insight, and inspiration. Join us as we celebrate the extraordinary achievements of this visionary genius, and discover the profound impact he has had on our creative landscape.
And then I asked her to write a short story about a kipper tie and a pair of stockings:-
The kipper tie and the pair of stockings had long resided in Mrs. Pendleton’s antique trunk, a treasure trove of bygone artifacts. Mrs. Pendleton, an elegant lady of discerning taste, had once regaled her admirers with tales of the tie’s flamboyant debut at a lavish soirée and the stockings’ bewitching allure on a moonlit ballroom floor.
One fateful afternoon, young Evelyn, Mrs. Pendleton’s vivacious granddaughter, stumbled upon the forgotten relics and was instantly captivated by their vintage charm. With mischief twinkling in her eyes, she envisioned an audacious escapade that would breathe new life into these relics of yesteryear.
Evelyn, with a daring spirit reminiscent of her grandmother’s heyday, orchestrated an extravagant tableau, blending the retro appeal of the kipper tie with the tantalizing allure of the stockings. The tie, resplendent in its flamboyant hues of orange and gold; its couture patterns; and extravagant width, found an unexpected harmony with the sleek elegance of the sheer stockings, adorned with intricate lace accents and whispered promises of bygone bed chambers.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, Evelyn donned the kipper tie with an irreverent charm, weaving its opulent extravagance with the seductive silk of the stockings. With each confident step, she exuded the timeless magnetism of an era long past, infusing the present with a dash of vintage whimsy.
I have changed a few words around, as I got fed up with all the ‘bygone allure’ going on! But this is 98% ChArmaIne2. Now imagine this tool in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. I will stop now [I could play with this tool forever as I find it endlessly entertaining], but if you’d like ChArmaIne2 to write about something specific then please leave a request in the comment box and I will ask her to write some replies.
Wonky Words 
Sweet bleeding thingummy! I thought, being somewhat both lazy and busy, might give this daft thing a whirl…well! Shiver-me-timbers-an-blow-me-down,boys! The language rozzers might be knocking on my door!
As this is Scarlet’s comments page, I shall retreat quietly…
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Dinah – I know!!! I don’t know why she’s using such peculiar language – I think she might be trying to satirise me. Cheeky bint.
Give your IA Assistant a whirl – it’s a guaranteed giggle!
I’m worried that few people will know that I’ve posted because I don’t think any Email notifications have gone out. Never mind.
Sx
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I got an email notification. Two, in fact (the second one said “testing” – was that you or ChArmaIne2?
Of course, this latet post shows up on my Sideboard, so the handful of people who drop by my place will know you’ve recovered from your 10 day blogging marathon and are posting again.
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Mr Devine – Thank you for telling me that email notifications are working – it’s my end that’s gone wrong then, and isn’t really a problem.
From now on I can blame ChArmaIne2 for everything. I think that’s reasonable.
Sx
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I get all the email notifications, Ms Scarlet, so it is working – at least for some people (cf Nick’s comment below). Jx
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Jon – I’ve been having random technological problems all year across a variety of systems. Though Blogger comments are working again across all blogs, so that’s a relief. I blame Scottish Widows.
Sx
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Definitely a spaniard in the works somewhere…this is what popped up when I tried to comment from my email:
This is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?
It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching can help.Search for:
I saw, in Jon’s comment, the Dan Brown reference. What I wanted to say was that the AI cobbler smacks of writers like James Patterson, who have rushed into their publishers with co-authors like Bill Clinton.
Arse-water, indeed.
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Dinah – Apologies for the test post! I will expand upon it and publish a full version next Thursday. ChArmaIne2 is now wrapped in tin foil and is stored under the stairs with the vacuum cleaner.
Sx
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I got that, too, Dinah – but that’s because Ms Scarlet deleted the “test” blog immediately after posting it. Jx
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Jon – Apologies for the test confusion! These awful writers…. They’re not exactly poor though, are they?! ChArmaIne2 may have her uses yet!
Sx
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IA assistant?!? I would my even know where to look for it? And if its like my real social director MS. Moorecock….Ill get nothing but lip.
And I notice this ChArmaine 2 is not swift. I mean she make not mention of Mr DeVice’s broom, good looks or use of the gincuzzi….and she almost implies dear Jon likes to work. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
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Mistress Maddie – Hmmm, you’re right, ChArmaIne2 isn’t hot on research and prefers sweeping statements. I shall impress upon her the importance of detail in future posts!
I imagine AI Assistant will be coming to Blogger very soon!!
Sx
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Ah, but ChArmaIne2 did say I was a “visionary genius” which I’m taking to be true. Although I’m racking my brains to think what the “profound impact” could be that I’ve apparently had on the “creative landscape“…
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Mr Devine – I think she means your Star Trek oeuvre, and all the pictures of groynes. Of course you are a visionary genius!
Sx
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I think ChArmaIne2 missed a trick by not making the stockings stripy. Does she not know who your audience are?
I am wondering if she might be able to extrapolate our forthcoming adventure over the Cusp to that alternate Hampshire wherein lies a warehouse in the middle of a field of cowpats?
I am also wondering if you need to feed her a digital version of gruel?
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Oh, I commented in the wrong place. This was supposed to be a new comment at the bottom. Oh, well…
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Mr Devine – I have no idea where the replies are as my app just demands that I reply into a white box! I’m sure it’ll work itself out!
Sx
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Mr Devine – I might feed her the plot and see what she comes up with, whilst instructing her to not be so flowery with her prose.
Sx
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She’s certainly has a penchant for “flowery” language doesn’t she?
Still, ChArmaIne2 can bask in the fact that she’s a better writer than Dan Brown. I read a description of his work that made me snort: “the best airport prose for the times when you’re stuck at the airport and you’re stressed like hell because you’ve been waiting for your plane for two hours and you just want to read something that’s slightly above reading the graffiti in the toilets to keep your mind busy but not too busy so that you can hear the announcement when they open the gates.”
Indeed, Stephen Fry described The DaVinci Code as “Complete loose-stool-water. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind.” Jx
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Jon – Hahahaha!!! By contrast Stephen Fry really does have a way with words. I’ve never tried to read The DaVinci Code – I have a good idea what it’s like though. The pace would bother me – I’ve heard it’s a pacy easy-read. Books that are too pacy stress me out!
I think ChArmaIne2 likes you!
Sx
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ChArmaIne2 is obviously not British – far too over-familiar for her own good. Jx
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I’m left wondering about your indelible mark… but yes, she is too over-familiar. I will request her to be more British next time she assists.
Sx
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If I’d known of ChArmaIne2’s literary talents, I could have used her as a character reference for several jobs. As I’m now retired, her literary skills and her appreciation of by-gone allure are but water under the bridge. I tried teaming a kipper tie and stockings at a recent social event but they weren’t as favourably received as I expected.
I’m not receiving blog comments by email either, so it looks like a general problem.
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Nick – ChArmaIne2 would like to see pictures of you wearing the kipper/stockings outfit so that she can illustrate the post.
Meanwhile, I’m getting the comments by email. Sigh. Nothing is working properly today – and it’s frustrating when we have these technological challenges. I don’t know why these things work for some people and not others.
Sx
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I don’t think there’s anyone more fond of adjectives than I am, but this AI bitch leaves even me in the dust.
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Mr Peenee – There were a couple of phrases she came up with that I liked very much such as the ‘extravagant width’ of the tie, and infusing the present with a dash of vintage whimsy. Actually I think this is where I switched out allure and replaced it with whimsy! But out of this context I like this sentence – so she could have her uses!
I’ve noticed that these AI assistants are being rolled out across many platforms – one day we won’t have to bother logging onto the Internet as we’ll all be replaced by AI so they can slog it out amongst themselves!
Sx
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I received both emails, but was slightly flummoxed by the “Sorry, we can’t find that page” (to paraphrase), so much so that I clicked on it twice sure that I’d made a mistake. Then I saw the second email (moving a bit slower mentally, don’t ask), I now understand what happened. I don’t think I’ll be trying AI or whatever it’s called because I’m certain any writing generated by reading my posts would be strange or rather stranger than usual, sweetpea! xoxo
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Apologies, Savvy!!
I will probably continue to use AI for when I’m a little bit bored, or need cheering up, or for when I write my Dan Brown style novel and need to make my millions!
The really scary thing about AI is that even the inventors of it aren’t 100% sure how quickly it learns. The genie is out of the bottle, where it goes nobody knows.
Sx
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A kipper tie and stockings – and nothing else?
Oh, my dicky ticker…!
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Mr Auty – Indeed!! ChArmaIne2 didn’t see fit to add any extra garments!
Sx
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I bought a sympathy card yesterday for a neighbour, her husband isn’t dead yet but anytime now, and I like to be prepared, but I don’t know what to write inside it, I thought about writing this:
All the words that you’ve said
All the tears that you’ve shed
I’m sorry to hear, your husband’s dead.
I’m sure ChArmaIne2 can do better, purple prose or otherwise.
She told me in confidence that she hopes it’s soon because she has booked a holiday to Lanzarote at the end of July!
My gran used the word whimsy when referring to her ornaments ‘Mind my whimsies you Mitzi’ of course she didn’t call me Mitzi that was the dog’s name.
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Mitzi – I have asked for ChArmaIne2’s input, and she has translated your words to this:
In a recent heartfelt conversation, a dear friend shared with me in confidence her hopeful anticipation for a certain event in the near future. She expressed a wish for this awaited occasion to arrive soon, revealing that she has made plans for a holiday getaway to the beautiful destination of Lanzarote at the end of July!
Whimsical Ornaments and Fond Memories
On a different note, my beloved grandmother used the term “whimsy” to describe her cherished collection of ornaments. This word perfectly captures the playful and charming nature of her decor, filled with memories and stories from years gone by. Both instances remind me of the joy found in looking forward to future endeavors and the comfort found in treasuring the past. It’s a wonderful balance that adds richness and depth to life.
She’s a positive soul, isn’t she?!!
Sx
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She’s too positive for my liking, Yorkshire folk, like myself, enjoy a bit of misery.
“In a recent heartfelt conversation…” we were offside to offside chatting in our cars, she had just been to Matalan to pick-up a four wheel suitcase for her forthcoming trip with ‘the girls’ (if you can call nearly 70 year old women girls), she seemed quite excited about it.
There should be a ChArmLess3 for communicating with northerners “She is waiting for her husband to snuff it, so she can bag-off to Lanzarote. She’s quite the merry widder.”
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Mitzi – I’m going to ask ChArmaIne2 to be more British in my next request. And I might change her name to C2, because it’s easier to type.
I don’t know where she learnt all this positivity – it’s very annoying.
Sx
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She sounds like a disingenuous kiss ass, and I hate working with such people! What more could one expect from a set of algorithms though?
In my many side endeavors one of my favorites is being a fox who pisses in Microsoft’s back yard, occasionally stealing just one garden glove, or chewing up award certificates. I am equally revered and reviled by my Tech friends who sometimes refer to me as “the Tech Gremlin” or “the Destroyer.” I’m currently reading an entertaining book about just how easy it is to exploit AI. The book is called You look like a Thing and I love you By Janelle Shane
I had to look up “Kipper Tie” because the image in my head was of a tie with images of Kippered Herring on it.
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Melanie – No, I used to snarl at the kiss arse people too. I don’t know how they keep it up – day-in, day-out sucking up – I’m kind of interested in what really goes on in their heads. Are they propelled by fear? Or money? Or both?
I do like C2’s use of ‘extravagant width’!
And I’m pleased to read that you are a tech gremlin. I have had my moments.
Sx
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I’ll give C@ point for the extravagant width as well, though I prefer my extravagance in length. *blush*
I don’t think the ass kissers have much more than hot air going through their heads. I tried to deep dive into the psyche of one once, but the pond was shallow. Bwhahaha
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Melanie – Hahaha!! Extravagant length!!!
As for the ass kissers – you may well be right, I still feel the urge to try and corrupt them though!
Sx
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I keep expecting to wake up one day and find my next six posts have already been written by AI and all I have to do is read them.
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Nick – One day our blogs won’t need us anymore and our AI Assistants will chatter amongst themselves!
Sx
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Heaven forfend!
“The Master created humans first as the lowest type, most easily formed. Gradually, he replaced them by robots, the next higher step, and finally he created me, to take the place of the last humans. From now on, I serve the Master.” – Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
Jx
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It could happen! I will keep C2 wrapped in foil under the stairs and hope that she doesn’t give the vacuum any ideas. Oh, wait, I don’t mind if the vacuum cleans up without me. I haven’t thought this through!
Sx
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P.S I could never watch that film again as it upset me too much.
Sx
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In our image, let’s make robots for our slaves
Imagine all the time that we can save
Computers, machines, the silicon dream…
Hazel O’connor
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Mitzi – He said, Behold what man has done
There’s not a world for anyone
Nobody laughed, nobody cried
World’s at an end, everyone has died.
Sx
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Goodness. To comment after that ?
Anyway, C2 is a bit “geschwätzig” for my likes, makes a lot of empty words around nothing : Absolutely top politician-apt ! Will blather everyone to death by brain bleed.
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Mr Mags – I think you’re right about C2 blathering everyone to death! I did ask her about you – and she was very sweet, and verbose.
Sx
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