Monthly Archives: November 2018

And then…..

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…..I was involved in a head on collision. Of course I was. What could be more fitting given the unsavoury nature of 2018 thus far? It is okay, I am fine. I was being transported in a Land Rover Defender – imagine me, perched up high in the passenger seat, knees together, with gloved hands neatly resting on my handbag. My eyes widened on impact, and my barely there eyebrow arched for the occasion. I might have screamed a little as well. I tell a lie, there was much screaming and sobbing – after all, I was about to miss a much-needed hair appointment.

With whom did I collide? A Yodel delivery van. It is that time of year when white vans go into overdrive, and speed around country lanes trying to deliver Christmas in time for…er… Christmas. Obviously I am still in a state of shock, but I am incredibly grateful that I wasn’t in the car, it is only a fluke that I was in the Land Rover instead.

So, my lovelies, be careful out there, you never know what’s around the next corner.

What Fresh Hell is This????????

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Why is there a snake hissing in my head??? Why??? I kid you not. I now have tinnitus. Deep joy. I think I’ve had it on and off for some time, but the volume has ramped up and has become intrusive. It is a constant high-pitched hiss. Naturally I have been to see my GP. Naturally I have rummaged around on the Internet and put the fear of God into myself. The sad thing is that I had a relatively good day yesterday, i.e, the hiss didn’t drown out Strictly Come Dancing, but today the hiss is back with vengeance. AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

I will cut down on sugar and eat nuts and try to keep calm. I will listen to more music. I will sing, as singing seems to help. Maybe I will post more on my blog just to moan about it. My GP seems to be of the mind that it is stress related and I am to be referred somewhere. Nobody knows for sure what causes tinnitus… or alopecia of the eyebrows come to that, but I will keep you all updated on this thrilling new adventure.

God, this is awful, and has taken the shine-off winning The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts!!!! Yes, I won, I won, I won!!!!!!!!! Thank you Rimpy!!! Expect a competition around Christmas/New Year.

Here is a tune. I am playing it on my laptop, which has very tinny acoustics and drowns out the hiss.

P.S For Savvy: Did my envelope ever arrive??? I have a horrible feeling it is lost due to me not putting enough postage on it. Hopefully it will arrive soon. I will send you a picture of it so that you can check that I got the address right.