I have mellowed in my old age, especially when it comes to disagreeing with others. Once upon a time in response to something silly said by someone else I would enact a dramatic eye roll and mutter an audible FFS into the air. I had little patience, and at times I was accused of being aggressive when defending my beliefs. These days I am a pussy cat.

Take for example a recent excursion into an informal gathering of disparate personalities. Within my earshot someone made a foolish, fact free statement – did I roll my eyes and mutter FFS? No I did not, I simply responded in a sing-song tinkling voice: no-no-no-no-no! and excused myself from the dining table to have a quiet vape in the garden.

Later, the conversation moved on to politics – the UK is having an election this year – and again points of view were aired that I didn’t necessarily agree with, again I brought my sing-song no-no-no-no-no to the fore, and then immediately wandered off leaving in my wake a person with no one to argue with. I like this new me! All I need is an oversized floppy hat with a jaunty brooch and I will have morphed into a quintessential eccentric older lady.

I think I like this new character I am becoming. I used to be concerned about my greying hair, and my extra wrinkles and I used to wish I had the money to shore up my chins in the manner of Davinia McCall, or Amanda Holden, but using Miriam Margolyes as a role model is a lot more fun! And I can also eat as much cake as I like. Trying to defy the ageing process is expensive and hard work – and does it ever really fool anyone? I think people have to be blessed with some pretty good genes in the first place for it to make much impact.

My message today is to work with what you’ve got – and if you’re average like me, bugger it all, do what you like – let your character develop and run free – indulge your eccentricities; wear a hat; write decorative letters to financial institutions who couldn’t give a toss where your pension is; put all your furniture on wheels; and most importantly – don’t sit through one sided conversations out of politeness when you’d rather be doing something more interesting instead.

Did you know that David Bowie wrote the first set of lyrics for My Way? They were rejected, and eventually Paul Anka bought the rights to the melody and wrote the lyrics himself.
Bowie wrote Life on Mars in retaliation. I prefer Life on Mars.