I have always disliked my birth name – it smacks of posh gel writing with a quill at a private school, wearing a neat and tidy uniform and having a craving to be a milk monitor. The shortened version of my birth name, the name I go by in everyday life, is even less attractive and smells of ferrets. Perhaps this is why I enjoy giving people nicknames, or name variations, because it is me who desires a change of moniker.

For blogging purposes I changed my name to Ms Scarlet. I thought it was a pretty name, colourful, playful even, with a hint of revolver laying abandoned in a conservatory attached to a stately home. Unfortunately, Mrs Pouncer, a blogger of yore, started referring to me as Scarls. Grrrr. To my ear this sounded like a hybrid of Scowls and Snarls. And then more bloggers started calling me Scarls. I let it go because…. it’s nice to be worthy of a nickname? Because I adored Mrs Pouncer, and she could do no wrong? Because what??? Anyhow, I was back where I started – with a name I didn’t really want.

Back to my loathsome real name – I sometimes wonder if it has undermined my sense of self, such is my dislike of it, and perhaps if I’d been given a more likeable name I would have more of a liking for me. How would I have felt if I had gone through life as a Scarlet? Or as Georgina, or Karen? Would having a different name have changed who I am, and how I see myself?

Anyhow, this rambling post is an apology to Melanie, who I have been calling ‘Mels’, and ‘Mels’ has bad associations for her. Maybe I am just jealous because Melanie is a lovely name, and I wouldn’t have minded it for myself! I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone else to whom I’ve given an unwanted name tag – though this doesn’t mean I’m going to stop doing it! After all, it’s fun making them up, and it probably means I like you.

A tune…. I wonder what Mr Lax would have thought of this?