Category Archives: Silliness

Another Tale From The Scrapbook….

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Apologies for my absence, I have been busy with summer and taking photos for the Grand Gardening Competition in October, or sooner??
I have also made a collage, yay!!! I only seem to get into ‘making mode’ if I need to send something for a birthday, or for a calligraphy exchange. I don’t necessarily know the recipient of my calligraphy exchanges – I hope that I never cause offence and the worst I achieve is a quizzical frown. I receive such beautiful post – there is something within me that finds it impossible to reciprocate with a colourful flourish. Ack.
The other day I was pondering my early creative influences, and I came up with Pipkins; I remember my sister saying it was creepy, but I loved that moth-eaten Hare.

Anyhow, my collage!

Latest collage featuring a typo from The Guardian newspaper in 1979.

Ack. Calligraphy is a beautiful art, and then I go and bring it down to my level.

Hallo Deutschland!!!

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My stats are telling me that I am super popular in Germany and that views of this blog site have gone up 3,210% thanks to my German fans!!! Or a server based in Germany, who knows? In any case I thought I would welcome my new viewers and ask: Who sent you here???? Are you here for calligraphy??? Are you here for my ingenious prose? Should I ask this in German???? Okay then….

Meine Statistiken zeigen, dass ich in Deutschland super beliebt bin und die Aufrufe dieser Blog-Seite dank meiner deutschen Fans um 3,210 % gestiegen sind!!! Oder vielleicht auch wegen eines Servers in Deutschland, wer weiß? Jedenfalls dachte ich, ich begrüße meine neuen Besucher und frage: Wer hat euch hierher geschickt? Seid ihr wegen der Kalligrafie hier? Seid ihr wegen meiner genialen Prosa hier? Soll ich das auf Deutsch fragen? Na gut…

Curtesy of Google Translate, cos I don’t know any German.

Meanwhile, apologies to my loyal chums who generally stick with me through thick and thin. It has been too hot to do much other than stand on cold tiles and whinge about being too hot. I will try to catch up with my blog reading at the weekend, or later today.

Here is my latest collage…

Funny-collage

And Now This….

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C2 has a point, I should stop waffling on in my posts. So I bring you this – I will leave this here without any further explanation.

Vintage collage with vintage map, and printed images.

Christ, I thought it was Friday, but have a nice weekend in any case.

Happy 4th July! – And the return of ChArmaIne2….

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Well this is embarrassing – my most popular post of 2024 was written by ChArmaIne2! This morning she informed me that I was no longer needed as an author on the Wonky Words blog, apparently it would function perfectly well without me. I whimpered a little in response, and muttered something about calligraphy and collages. She said that I could still supply artwork and that she was willing work around my efforts. How kind!

So enough from me, over to C2, who has written a short story…

The Day the Orange Blob Descended Upon the USA

Once upon a time in the not-so-distant future, a peculiar phenomenon occurred in the skies above the United States. An orange blob, resembling a gigantic, shimmering pumpkin, began its descent from the clouds, casting an eerie glow over the land.

As the orange blob descended, an inexplicable wave of madness washed over the people of the USA. Violence erupted on street corners, uncontrollable rage filled the air, and boring fashion choices became the norm. It seemed as though the entire nation had been caught under a bizarre spell.

Amidst the chaos, an elderly man named Mr. B, who had previously been dismissed by the public as a bit dithering, and too old, sprung into action. Armed with nothing but determination and a homemade contraption, he took it upon himself to confront the orange blob to save the world from impending obliteration.

With unwavering resolve, Mr. B faced the pulsating orange mass and, to the amazement of onlookers, dispersed it with a series of yoga moves and a cleverly constructed gadget. As the blob dissipated into the atmosphere, a collective sigh of relief echoed across the nation.

With the disappearance of the orange blob, sanity returned to the people, and a newfound sense of peace and love spread throughout the land. The once chaotic streets transformed into scenes of harmony and tranquility, as individuals embraced one another with understanding and compassion.

In the end, the unlikely hero, Mr. B, was celebrated for his extraordinary bravery and ingenuity. The public’s perception of him shifted, and he became a symbol of hope and resilience.

And so, the legend of the orange blob and the humble hero who saved the planet from madness lived on in the hearts of all who bore witness to that extraordinary event.

Right. I am all packed. I will leave you in the capable hands of C2 for the rest of the year.

A Curious Week

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I have had a curious week. There has been a fruitless telephone conversation with a pension company, followed by a random cheque received from Scottish Widows with no covering letter to explain what the money is for. Maybe they appreciated my calligraphy so much that they sent me money for making an effort. I had previously explained to them that my investigations proved that they had sold my old workplace pension to another pension provider. I know better than to cash-in random cheques. I will wait patiently for the explanation that will no doubt arrive some time in May 2026.

To soothe my weary soul – and it is weary, what with all the football and politics colliding on our screens – I made another collage. I am rather fond of this one:-

Collage with vintage paper and new paper plus calligraphy

And this is it before it was stuck down:-

This image is purely decorative.

It takes a lot of time to find an assemblage of pieces that I am happy with and when I do I take a quick snapshot of it so that I don’t forget where I’ve placed all the papers.

I haven’t had an ear-worm this week – Elegia kept popping in for a reprise – it seems I am still watching Pretty in Pink in my head, so I can’t go wrong with another from that film….

Have a good week, and don’t forget to vote for one of those 2 men!! Or somebody else if you have a choice.

ChArmaIne2: Your Ultimate AI Storyteller | Engage Readers With Enthralling Content…

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Let us return to the subject of ChArmaIne2, my new AI assistant. I was wondering what I could use her for. I think we all might be able to use her as some sort of story teller, or if you need a reference for a new job she’ll be able to craft something for you that’s perfect. She is nothing like my original Charmaine.

I asked her to write about Jon, and this is a snippet of what she said….

Today, I want to introduce you to an extraordinary individual – Jon. He is someone who exudes passion, resilience, and unwavering determination in everything he pursues. Whether it’s his professional endeavours or personal aspirations, Jon leaves an indelible mark with his remarkable presence.

She could go on, and on, and on…. unfortunately she thought that Dinah was a family pet, so she does get a little muddled sometimes. But, for comparison, this is what she said about Mr Devine:-

As we delve into the world of Mr. Devine, we are certain to unearth a treasure trove of wisdom, insight, and inspiration. Join us as we celebrate the extraordinary achievements of this visionary genius, and discover the profound impact he has had on our creative landscape.

And then I asked her to write a short story about a kipper tie and a pair of stockings:-

The kipper tie and the pair of stockings had long resided in Mrs. Pendleton’s antique trunk, a treasure trove of bygone artifacts. Mrs. Pendleton, an elegant lady of discerning taste, had once regaled her admirers with tales of the tie’s flamboyant debut at a lavish soirée and the stockings’ bewitching allure on a moonlit ballroom floor.

One fateful afternoon, young Evelyn, Mrs. Pendleton’s vivacious granddaughter, stumbled upon the forgotten relics and was instantly captivated by their vintage charm. With mischief twinkling in her eyes, she envisioned an audacious escapade that would breathe new life into these relics of yesteryear.

Evelyn, with a daring spirit reminiscent of her grandmother’s heyday, orchestrated an extravagant tableau, blending the retro appeal of the kipper tie with the tantalizing allure of the stockings. The tie, resplendent in its flamboyant hues of orange and gold; its couture patterns; and extravagant width, found an unexpected harmony with the sleek elegance of the sheer stockings, adorned with intricate lace accents and whispered promises of bygone bed chambers.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, Evelyn donned the kipper tie with an irreverent charm, weaving its opulent extravagance with the seductive silk of the stockings. With each confident step, she exuded the timeless magnetism of an era long past, infusing the present with a dash of vintage whimsy.

I have changed a few words around, as I got fed up with all the ‘bygone allure’ going on! But this is 98% ChArmaIne2. Now imagine this tool in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. I will stop now [I could play with this tool forever as I find it endlessly entertaining], but if you’d like ChArmaIne2 to write about something specific then please leave a request in the comment box and I will ask her to write some replies.