I have mellowed in my old age, especially when it comes to disagreeing with others. Once upon a time in response to something silly said by someone else I would enact a dramatic eye roll and mutter an audible FFS into the air. I had little patience, and at times I was accused of being aggressive when defending my beliefs. These days I am a pussy cat.
Take for example a recent excursion into an informal gathering of disparate personalities. Within my earshot someone made a foolish, fact free statement – did I roll my eyes and mutter FFS? No I did not, I simply responded in a sing-song tinkling voice: no-no-no-no-no! and excused myself from the dining table to have a quiet vape in the garden.
Later, the conversation moved on to politics – the UK is having an election this year – and again points of view were aired that I didn’t necessarily agree with, again I brought my sing-song no-no-no-no-no to the fore, and then immediately wandered off leaving in my wake a person with no one to argue with. I like this new me! All I need is an oversized floppy hat with a jaunty brooch and I will have morphed into a quintessential eccentric older lady.
I think I like this new character I am becoming. I used to be concerned about my greying hair, and my extra wrinkles and I used to wish I had the money to shore up my chins in the manner of Davinia McCall, or Amanda Holden, but using Miriam Margolyes as a role model is a lot more fun! And I can also eat as much cake as I like. Trying to defy the ageing process is expensive and hard work – and does it ever really fool anyone? I think people have to be blessed with some pretty good genes in the first place for it to make much impact.
My message today is to work with what you’ve got – and if you’re average like me, bugger it all, do what you like – let your character develop and run free – indulge your eccentricities; wear a hat; write decorative letters to financial institutions who couldn’t give a toss where your pension is; put all your furniture on wheels; and most importantly – don’t sit through one sided conversations out of politeness when you’d rather be doing something more interesting instead.
Did you know that David Bowie wrote the first set of lyrics for My Way? They were rejected, and eventually Paul Anka bought the rights to the melody and wrote the lyrics himself.
Bowie wrote Life on Mars in retaliation. I prefer Life on Mars.
Wonky Words 
Yes yes yes! I’m getting better at taking a very deep breath and walking away.(Murmuring “bloody merchant banker!”)
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Dinah – I’m surprised at myself! And getting older certainly has advantages.
I nearly slapped up Matt Bianco’s Yeh, Yeh as my video just to be contrary – but I will save that for another day.
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I was rather expecting this one… However ALL David Bowie is good!
Living in London, a place full of idiots, I am not quite so good at restraint, and regularly resort to Anglo-Saxon. However, in general, I find a loud “tut” works. Jx
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Jon – I think I used Dawn Penn fairly recently – 2021 or 2022???!! So thought I’d find a different tune. I went down a rabbit hole with David Bowie – always a pleasure – and so Life on Mars became the choice.
I reckon if I still lived in the South East I’d also be tutting loudly and using a full range of curses!
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Let me know if you need help picking out a jaunty brooch.
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Mr Peenee – I do need help!!! And I would feel privileged to wear a brooch chosen by you!
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I’m with you, Scarlet! I’m more of an eyeroller than the engaging type these days. But the occasional FFS muttered under my breath still escapes! When something astounds me I will say out loud, “Good Lord!” in my best Captain Hastings voice! (I do love Poirot and Hastings.) xoxo
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Savvy – I would love to hear your Captain Hastings impersonation! It’s a minefield out there! I’m surprised that I suddenly came out with no, no, no, no, no – with a hint of laughter in my voice. I’ve no idea where it came from, but it seems to work!
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Sometimes when I’m lying in bed thinking about my past exploits, I can feel my face reddening like a beetroot and I often say out loud, ‘Mitzi, how could you’ which is preferable than being on your death bed saying ‘Mitzi, why didn’t you!’
I’ve gone off Miriam Margolyes after reading This Much is True her autobiography, there is a chapter in it towards the end of the book where she asks a young man on the Tube if he would give up his seat for her, he refused, so she poured a bottle of water over his head, that young man could have been a junior doctor, knackered after finishing an 18 hour shift at the hospital and she embarrassed another man who refused to give up his seat for her by sitting on him, this is a woman who is not short of a bob or two and could easily afford private transport to carry her fat old carcass across London. She has another book out called Oh Miriam I’ll wait until I see it in a charity shop before I get my purse out.
Dawn Penn what a mince down memory lane I haven’t heard that song in yonks, another blast from the past I heard this morning was Janet Kay Silly Games I was singing along to it but I couldn’t hit the high notes, I tried and ended up coughing.
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Mitzi – That was mean of Miriam. I have started reading her first book but I don’t generally read autobiographies and tend to reach for a novel instead. Perhaps Miriam isn’t the best role model after all.
When I lie down in my bed at night and think about past exploits I tell myself that they didn’t really happen, or roll my eyes a bit and remember that I was very young at the time. You are right though – who wants to be left wondering over what could have been?!
I can hit high notes! Though not necessarily the right high notes. I can’t sing as well as I used to – it really throws me when I sing along to even relatively easy tunes and my voice gives out on me.
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Does your role model have to be female? May I suggest Tim Wonnacott from Bargain Hunt with his gap toothed cheeky grin and a penchant for bow ties and spectacle chains or failing that Anita Manning, she likes a broach, jaunty or otherwise and cloche hats too, you will have to dye your hair black though, can be a bit iffy, especially if you have fair skin, however, recent reports says she has embraced the grey!
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Mitzi – I have very fair skin, sadly. However, I nearly got into spectacle chains, but then I bought a pair of specs that are impossible to attach anything to.
Mistress MJ has suggested Jo Brand – Of course! Why didn’t I think of her! My favourite author is Jonathan Coe, some of his writing makes me laugh out loud, so I suppose he is a sort of role model.
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I’m not ready for “No, No, No, No, No!” – I’m still at the “dramatic eye roll and mutter an audible FFS into the air” stage. Although less so than I used to be. I do, however, eat as much cake as I want. In fact, on Tuesday I ate almost nothing but cake! (I did eat an apple in a half-hearted attempt to counteract some of the cake, though)
Oh, and I have started to wear a hat.
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Mr Devine – You can probably get away with eating cake! I request a post about your hat.
To be fair, I think this post went a bit wrong, even after I finished it I still hadn’t figured out what I was really trying to say!! I hate that when that happens. I think I muddled up two closely related subjects and didn’t pull it off!
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I long ago adopted your walk-away strategy, realising that certain people have entrenched and regressive views and there was no possibility of having a sensible argument let alone changing their views. I just avoid such people or mutter something like “I don’t think so” or “I wouldn’t say that” and make myself scarce. Yes, Jo Brand is a great role model. Or Julie Bindel.
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Thank you, Nick. I’ve realised I don’t want arguments when I go out. Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t want to go out!!
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