Tag Archives: Persil

Tough But Gentle Too…… [2022 Edition]

Ihave often wondered what it would be like to be a mum. According to Persil being a mum involves doing a lot of laundry, and not being able to afford pretty hats. Persil’s centenary ad [2007] features Marion, a single mother of two sons, and five daughters. Marion has just been mugged for the last packet of Birds Eye fish fingers and she is now lying prostrate in the washing powder aisle in Asda; her whole life is flickering before her like a series of old TV commercials.
Marion’s five daughters never needed much care – they never got grubby, and all were born with an innate understanding of intelligent dosing and how to handle excessive foam – it was in their jeans. The girls were neatly washed and scrubbed and dispensed out into the world shortly after their fourteenth birthdays. Unfortunately, Marion’s two sons, now 45 and 48 respectively, still live at home, and neither has the ability to set foot outside the house without being covered in mud/strawberry milkshake/banana/Bacardi/lipstick or baby oil. And, even though both became quantum physicists, neither have ever mastered the art of how to pour Persil into the soap powder drawer. Instead they have learnt that the laundry room is out of bounds – it is their mother’s secret, private, place where they must never venture – curiosity may leave them badly scolded.
Marion is tough but gentle and knows where, and how, to seek Comfort. Sometimes late at night the ‘boys’ hear the rumbling of the much loved washing machine accompanied by their mother’s squeals of delight as she deals with stain after stain whilst also making good use of the extra spin cycle.
Regaining consciousness, Marion smiles to herself… to hell with pretty hats…. the rewards of motherhood come thick and fast depending on the washing program.

First published on The Scarlet Blue Archive 13th May 2009 – edited and revised 2022

Flashback Friday – The Fanny Club

When not composing her much loved symphony in D minor, which she did often and wisely, Fanny Mountjoy-Williams could be found picking up stray boys from the streets of Dungeness. Her mission was to round them up and escort them to school, thus ensuring that they received an education of sorts. Some people mistook Fanny’s activities as being purely altruistic, and seldom suspected that Fanny had an ulterior motive. Few people knew it, but during the early sixties Fanny had been recruited as the International Global Universal Ambassador for Persil soap powder. Fanny took her promotional duties seriously although she was not adverse to mischievous tinkering.

In her role as ambassador, Fanny would locate a random urchin, preferably grubby from playing on the bomb-sites, and then clothe him in a shirt that had been soaked for several months in a solution of 5 parts hydrogen peroxide, 7 parts ammonia, 4 parts baking soda, 9 parts arsenic, and 1 part plutonium [do not try this at home]. This recipe would guarantee that the shirt would glow brilliantly with a blinding whiteness.

As we are all aware, Fanny Mountjoy-Williams was a formidable woman – by the age of twelve she had already written a groundbreaking thesis on high wire acrobatics and aerial fire eating, which in turn led to her being nominated for a Nobel prize in chemistry, so it is of no surprise that other women were easily impressed by her lofty demeanour, and by the luminous urchin that would often accompany her on her jaunts around town. Who could blame these women for peeking into Fanny’s basket and, on seeing the box of Persil, jumping to the wrong conclusion. Thanks to Fanny Mountjoy-Williams and her novel approach to marketing, Boxes of Persil flew off the supermarket shelves, but sadly these new consumers were left dismayed and disappointed because their children refused to glow, they instead remained dismal, dull, and decidedly grim in comparison to Fanny’s urchin.

Not a woman to miss an opportunity, Fanny realised that she could make a pretty penny from selling her secret recipe to laundry obsessed mothers at the school gates. Eventually, due to demand, she formed The Fanny Club, collectively known as The Fannies. They were a large group of discerning women [think Tunbridge Wells] who would meet every other Tuesday for Fanny workshops to discuss folding techniques, and what to do with two large sheets in a high wind. The club motto, which they would recite at the start of all club meetings, was as follows:- Persil washes whiter and it shows, but with a touch of Fanny it really, really glows.

In 1975 the Fannies were disbanded after a member complained that the secret recipe had been the cause of an unsightly rash on her rear. Overuse of baking soda was believed to be the cause.

Originally posted HERE
Also, none of this will make any sense until you watch the Youtube 🙂 And then it’ll make even less sense.

COMING SOON:- Something new!!! Maybe.