Mogs Mill, to be found north west of Mogwash, is a tight knit prosperous community where the mental health problems of the rich and illustrious are referred to affectionately as ‘eccentricities’ and go largely unreported to the wider world. Indeed, this small rural enclave has become something of a safe-haven for disenchanted entrepreneurs and dispirited millionaires; for example, the obsessive compulsive disorder of one particular resident went unnoticed for such a time that he managed to block pave 42 acres of arable farmland before concerned neighbours raised the alarm.
Richard Etherington-Smythe, originally an Estate Agent/Mortgage Consultant/Property Developer/Pension Schemer from South Kensington, was later found roaming the forest unaccompanied, attempting to manicure huge swathes of ancient woodland with little more than a pair of secateurs, daisy print gardening gloves, and a certificate of commendation in rustic handicrafts. Consumed with a pathological fear of darkness, Mr Etherington-Smythe was also responsible for lighting up the night skies with 3,000 energy saving light bulbs festooned across an area of coppice that had been incorporated into his extensive back garden. This proved to be something of a distraction for pilots trying to land aircraft at nearby Gatwick airport…

18 May 2007