Notes to Self…. [A pertinent list featuring Aidan Turner]

1) Write a blog post before the end of June.

2) Reply to comments of previous blog post.

3) Think about strong language. Strong language is defined as swearing – surely it isn’t strong at all? It is lazy, easy, weak? Surely it is stronger to find more meaningful words rather than to rely on a predictable fuck? I mean, who wants a predictable fuck?

4) Do some calligraphy. Do I really want to do more calligraphy? If I make a point of giving it up then maybe I’ll be desperate to do it?

5) Take another photo of a pile of read books on a chair.

6) Try to decimate Mr Devine’s sideboard with a giant picture of Aidan Turner. I don’t think my method works anymore, but at least I can have a picture of Aidan Turner on my blog.

7) Why hasn’t Aidan Turner been considered as the next James Bond/Dr Who/presenter of The One Show – write to the relevant organisations and suggest his inclusion on their shortlists.

8) Cut toe nails.

9) Think about 1938.

10) Publish this list as a blog post – but isn’t that cheating a little?

Notes and Pictures and a Big Pink Bush

I have a new series of posts to delight and entertain! Following on from my globally popular series such as A book on a chair, Loopy Letters and Scarlet’s Guide to Public Toilets in the UK, I bring you: Notes From My Journals 1971 – 2021. These will include digital notes; handwritten notes; and photographs from my photo journal. For example here is a note from June 1975:-

And from more recently…

4th June 2021

Honestly, I am shaken by my encounter, but pleased I didn’t get into a slanging match. No point with people like that, is there? And I realise I haven’t explained what happened. In a nutshell: tractor with agricultural equipment being pulled behind, was hurtling towards us in a narrow lane; it stopped, but I didn’t think there was room enough for us to pass by; I walked back to a large passing point, so did my friend and her dog; the tractor then came to a halt beside us, and the driver ranted on about us not walking past when he’d stopped; I said that my dog wouldn’t and he replied that I shouldn’t be on the road then; he then made a point of staring at me; I didn’t reply and stared back, matching his aggressive eye contact; he then pretended to be about to let his snarling dog out of the tractor cab; I didn’t flinch; in the end he had to drive away with me still staring after him.
Guess I was cool really, but I didn’t feel it. I reckon he will deliberately try to kill me if he ever sees me again – I got that sort of vibe. Glad I wasn’t wearing the onesie.

And from my photo journal – My glorious pink bush….

Yes, this year I am determined to be ready for the Garden Competition.

Knee update: Saw Doctor on Friday, he claimed to be baffled and referred me to physio. Perhaps I should have shown him the wax effigy to explain the condition of my knee? Maybe next time.

What happened in May?

After several weeks on the fainting chaise I began to feel better. My recovery had been slow, arduous, and beset with challenges, for example I felt as though an ominous cloud had been stalking me daily, I couldn’t shake it, so instead I decided to take a photograph to illustrate the darkness of my unwanted companion.

To illustrate a post featuring a sky.

To escape the cloud I hid indoors and pretended it wasn’t there, although I could still hear it leaking into my conservatory. I tried to make a note to get my roof fixed, but couldn’t decide whether to use copperplate, italic, or a modern calligraphy style. I concluded that my indecision was because it was all getting a little bit too much. I decided to stick my thoughts together with a drawing of a crow, as this was obviously the best way to make a note.

Though in the midst of muddlement, I knew there was a course of therapeutic action available to me, which was to lay quietly on the fainting chaise and read a pile of books [one at a time, NOT consecutively].

And lo, after several weeks I did begin feel better though less than robust, after all, I did still have a Temporomandibular joint disorder; Tinnitus; and a misdiagnosed knee condition, but, I also had a theory: my chronic ailments were somehow related to that damn wax effigy I’d sealed in a bottle back in 2006. I had unwisely used my own hair, and material from my clothes to make this glorious work of art…. blah, blah, blah… I think we have been here before….

wax-effigy-in-bottle-on-mantelpiece

Please note that the pin located on the right of the doll’s head [my left] and the pin stabbed into the left knee [my right], correspond anatomically [within accepted parameters] to my current jaw and knee issues.

I concluded that the only way to be completely well again would be to break the bottle and remove the pins from the effigy – plus, if my theory was correct, then did I really want to find out what the remaining pins would do?

It is now June 2021, and I am still a bit nuts.

Knees and Tidy Drawers….

Apologies, I have been sulking. I have been sulking because my knees hurt. One aches due to previous dog related incidents, and the other knee feels like it has a penknife lodged in it – not that I have any experience of actually having a penknife lodged in my knee. I spoke to my doctor several weeks ago and he used the word ‘tear’ and the phrase ‘floating fibres’, which made me switch off from everything else he was saying. I am rather squeamish about blood, bones, and suchlike, for example to my ear the word ‘cartilage’ is akin to fingernails on a chalkboard – it makes me shudder. And all those anatomical graphic diagrams of knees – ick, no, can’t look at them. Knees should just work and get on with what they’re supposed to be doing, they shouldn’t be whinging and whining and hurting for no justifiable reason – they should stay under the cover of a decent pair of jeans, behave themselves, and be grateful for a swipe of body lotion and the occasional rub. Don’t I have enough drama from the wonky jaw????
Anyhow, the pain has made me grumpy, and rather unsociable.

To pass the time, whilst sulking, I have been resting, and reading, and also sorting out my drawers. I have found some interesting bits and pieces dating back to 1938, which I will regale you with in future posts, but today I have something far more recent….

Yes, it’s a little hand stitched booklet made by our very own Dinah back in 2012! I came across other bits of blogging memorabilia that has been sent to me over the years, such as postcards from Mr Mags, Mr Lax, and Pete; a picture of the Parliament Hill cats from MJ; and a birthday card from Mr Devine. I will put all these things together somewhere safe, and in ten years time I will find them again – they will make me smile, and I will again put them away somewhere safe…. and I will probably continue this cycle until the day that I don’t.

Yep, I will now return to berating my kneecaps.

Next time: Charmaine has a theory – is it time to break a bottle?

A Book on a Chair….

…and so I decided that I wasn’t going to write another post until I finished the book that I began reading way back HERE. Honestly, I have never taken so long to finish a very good book, but 2020 happened and proved to be something of a distraction.

Middle England

Chapter 26 provides a laugh out loud moment. And there is also a peripheral character with a penchant for calligraphy. But mostly it’s about the past that never was, and the impossible dreams we weave for a future knitted with nostalgia. Oh, and there might be some talk of Brexit. I loved it – Jonathan Coe at his best. I wonder if he’ll write a book about the pandemic? I hope so.
As you can see the chair has moved into the kitchen. Gripping stuff – well, I had to do something during lockdown.

Meanwhile, huge excitement!!! I have some garden pics!!!!! I actually managed to take a pic of the blossom on my cherry tree before it all fell off.

Cherry Blossom

Yes, there is Sid in the background. AND, I found a filter especially designed for estate agents on my iPad…

Estate Agent Filter

…which makes my garden look about ten times bigger than it actually is. Yay! I have extensive grounds!

Finally, I have some pics of flowers to pretty up my blog a little…

Flowers

Flowers

Next time: A dubious sod; a wax effigy; a bad knee; a decision to be made; and the tale of the woebegone soul. And maybe some more flowers.

Happy Birthday, Mr Devine!!!

Where have I been? Why have I not posted since the last time I posted? I have been….. incapacitated. I had my vaccine shot last Saturday, and have been very sleepy ever since. To be fair, I often sleep through March and April, so maybe not a vaccine side effect at all. I did have chills, and a very mild headache for a couple of days. But that was it.

Meanwhile, when conscious, I have been preparing for Mr Devine’s Birthday, which is tomorrow. I had big ideas for a celebration. Firstly, there was a novel to be written; a film starring Aidan Turner in a spaceship to be made; a tribble to be wrapped and mailed; several cormorants to be trained as butlers; a ripped gardener to be employed; and a tinfoil creation to be created. Sadly, due to all the sleep and a sore arm, I had to settle for a small idea instead….

Something new for the sideboard±

Happy Birthday, Mr Devine!! I’m sure you can shrink this so that it doesn’t overwhelm your sideboard. To be fair there was supposed to be some gold, but my gold dust looked like a heap of yellowing dandruff in my photographs, so I abandoned that particular idea.

A tune for the birthday boy….