Apologies, I have been so engrossed with the ongoing saga on our new blog A Write Panic that I have forgotten to update this blog.
So far A Write Panic has featured amongst many things: robots; a brewer’s goitre; a pink rabbit onesie; a Jason Bourne character; a golden retriever called Scarlet with dubious glands; a short man with a large gun; chairs; Ferrero Rocher; nose picking; and a brassy blonde. If you signed up to write then please do – the more the merrier!! If you don’t feel like writing, then music and picture posts to illustrate the story are also very welcome.
How am I? Up and down. I guess we all are. Some days I am overwhelmed by graphs, and figures, and projections of what might be. Other days I can distract myself.
Take care, stay home.
Invites have gone out. The blog address for our writing project is: A Write Panic. Yes, I have chosen Blogger as I think this will be easier for most of us. I will help anyone who doesn’t like it, i.e, you can email me with your chapter and I will publish it on your behalf.
Anyone up for writing the opening chapter [post]???? Shout now!!!
A tune? Yes, of course.
And so the dystopian nightmare begins – I can no longer reserve a Waitrose delivery slot. Sigh. AND, the BBC have suspended filming Eastenders.
Anyhow, I have had an idea. Back in the day when blogging was fresh and new I worked on a project called Burning Lines with a cluster of writerly bloggers from around the world. It was organised by Kate Lord Brown [now a highly regarded published writer] and it was one of the funniest blogging projects I have ever been involved with.
There were about nine of us and together over the course of a month we took it in turn to write a book using the blogging format. The ongoing saga featured exploding dwarves, macaroons, mysterious parcels, and a couple of angels. Put it this way, some of us took it seriously… and some of us didn’t, but it was hilarious.
I was wondering if anyone would like to give it a go? If there is interest I will set up a blog [probably on Blogger] specifically for this project and give authors permission to post – like a joint blog.
Personally I feel like I need something fun to take my mind off this virus pandemonium thing. What do you reckon? If no one is interested then I will simply go off in a huff and write more Mogwash posts, so no worries.
So many new BBC newsreaders popping up on my TV screen! Looks like everyone it going to get their chance to read the autocue during the coming months.
Meanwhile, I have decided to cease experiments on Charmaine, for the time being. She has instructed me to use my time constructively and instead of watching the 24hr rolling news channel I could instead clean the bath; read my pile of books; do some calligraphy; have a good clear out; blog more; shave my armpits; write a book; write a short story; and WASH MY HANDS. She has a point – especially regarding the bath and my armpits.
I feel a bit discombobulated. I imagine we are all feeling much the same. The UK are only testing for Coronavirus in hospitals, which I guess will skewer the death rate – making it look worse than it is. Also, surely we need to know who has developed immunity so that they can help others without fear of passing on a nasty bug? For example, if I knew I was immune I would be willing to help out in the local care home, or stack shelves in the supermarket, or read the news. I am just saying.
Shall we have a tune?
….bollocks!!! Goodness me!! Yes, the weather could be better, but the trampolines have now been rounded up and are resting and rusting in a corner of the garden. Such a relief that they are no longer terrorising the wildlife, and Mrs Johnson.
I STILL have a cold. I have been self isolating, hence I have been unable to visit any blogs. During my isolation I have turned my calligraphy studio into a laboratory in an effort to find a defence against all the viral nasties that have been circulating this winter. Later today I will be conducting the first of many experiments on my niece, Charmaine [she does not know this yet as she has been self isolating up in the attic for the past 2 years]. Research tells me that vinegar and peppermint have antiviral properties so I intend to spray Charmaine liberally with my homemade vinegar/peppermint preparation and then vigorously sneeze on her. I will chart her reaction over the coming days. If she begins to look feverish I will add gin. To everything.
Meanwhile, tomorrow is my birthday!!!!! Yay!!!! Which might put me in a higher risk category for death and such like. Damn it. But I will not worry as I have soap, water, vinegar, peppermint, loo paper, and, my personal favourite – whiskey.
Anyhow, as it is my birthday, and to cheer the mood in preparation for the zombie apocalypse, here is a tune – proving that there are better things to do in the supermarket than panic buy.
am staying indoors today because:-
a) The Gods have unleashed a plague of trampolines upon Devon. There is one wrapped around the chimney as I type and the starlings are making good use of it.
b) I have a hole in my welly.
c) I am plain lazy.
I still have a cold, which means:-
a) I have Coronavirus and I am going to die.
b) I have Coronavirus, but I am not going to die.
c) I am hacked off because this cold seems to be lasting forever.
d) I am prone to writing increasingly overdramatic posts regarding a common winter ailment.
This week I read:-
a) 42 books, including one on how to tether a trampoline properly.
b) 1 sentence.
c) 4,642 scaremongering articles regarding Coronavirus. And something about how trampolines have replaced kites as the nation’s favourite plaything on a blustery day.
d) An instruction manual for a 1942 Singer sewing machine.
Next week I am going to:-
a) Prepare my blogpost in advance and not merely rehash the one that I published the week before.
b) Engage my blog audience with a post entitled: A Bit Blowy, Part 4 [The Picture Version].
c) Not mention Coronavirus, or my mild cold symptoms.
d) Read a book.
e) Surprise my readership with a bonus mid-week post.
f) Do something interesting with a sheep and a tube of superglue.
g) Stop talking about trampolines.
And so to the music, in memory of Mr Lax, and my mum.