Because it in the 20th May, and because it is Wednesday, and because it is 2020, I bring you [drum roll] Men in Nice Knitwear!!! With these woollen gentlemen I am spoiling you.
Notice how I am unconsciously drawn to the tobacco smoking men!
I saw a BBC headline the other day that read: Masks, where should they be worn? Oh yer face, duh…
Next week: The Delectable Duchy’s Most Delightful Resort [not to be missed].
It’s been a month since I last slapped a post up. Where has the time gone? Why have I taken so long to update my blog? Why does it feel like I’ve abandoned the Write Panic project?
Well, about two weeks ago I found lots of blood up my nose – old blood, new blood, large lumps of old blood in green gunge [nice], and fresh blood. At first I panicked, then I Googled, and I think the excess blood was due to a sinus infection, though I haven’t had this confirmed because it’s been impossible to contact a doctor [I did try]. I think the sinus infection was caused by the cold I was whinging about throughout February that never really went away. Anyhow, the upshot of all this was that I decided to be sensible, so I gave up vaping [vaping is obviously a very bad thing to do during a pandemic and obviously the cause of all nasal cavity issues ever], which resulted in nicotine withdrawal. The nicotine withdrawal has made me spacey, grumpy, sneezy, bashful, incredibly dopey, but not very happy. I am feeling a bit better now, and my nose has stopped bleeding, but I still have a slight sniffle and Phantosmia [olfactory hallucination]. On the upside, my tinnitus seems to have improved.
I will try to get my head back into our writing project, but it is SOOOOOOOOO HARD when all I am thinking about is nicotine and cigarettes, plus I’m eating far too much and I feel like a fatty-lardy-lump-blobble. AND MY HAIR????!!!! Enough. There might be some positivity on the horizon – look at this study. Yes, nicotine might save us after all!!! I tell you, if this turns out to be true I will howl with laughter, I will laugh so hard that you will have to peel me off the floor, I will laugh and laugh and laugh, and then I will light up. I like smoking, it reminds me of my dad and unfortunately it also reminds me of being irresponsible and young. Sigh. I am blathering incoherently.
A tune? Yep.
Apologies, I have been so engrossed with the ongoing saga on our new blog A Write Panic that I have forgotten to update this blog.
So far A Write Panic has featured amongst many things: robots; a brewer’s goitre; a pink rabbit onesie; a Jason Bourne character; a golden retriever called Scarlet with dubious glands; a short man with a large gun; chairs; Ferrero Rocher; nose picking; and a brassy blonde. If you signed up to write then please do – the more the merrier!! If you don’t feel like writing, then music and picture posts to illustrate the story are also very welcome.
How am I? Up and down. I guess we all are. Some days I am overwhelmed by graphs, and figures, and projections of what might be. Other days I can distract myself.
Take care, stay home.
Invites have gone out. The blog address for our writing project is: A Write Panic. Yes, I have chosen Blogger as I think this will be easier for most of us. I will help anyone who doesn’t like it, i.e, you can email me with your chapter and I will publish it on your behalf.
Anyone up for writing the opening chapter [post]???? Shout now!!!
A tune? Yes, of course.
And so the dystopian nightmare begins – I can no longer reserve a Waitrose delivery slot. Sigh. AND, the BBC have suspended filming Eastenders.
Anyhow, I have had an idea. Back in the day when blogging was fresh and new I worked on a project called Burning Lines with a cluster of writerly bloggers from around the world. It was organised by Kate Lord Brown [now a highly regarded published writer] and it was one of the funniest blogging projects I have ever been involved with.
There were about nine of us and together over the course of a month we took it in turn to write a book using the blogging format. The ongoing saga featured exploding dwarves, macaroons, mysterious parcels, and a couple of angels. Put it this way, some of us took it seriously… and some of us didn’t, but it was hilarious.
I was wondering if anyone would like to give it a go? If there is interest I will set up a blog [probably on Blogger] specifically for this project and give authors permission to post – like a joint blog.
Personally I feel like I need something fun to take my mind off this virus pandemonium thing. What do you reckon? If no one is interested then I will simply go off in a huff and write more Mogwash posts, so no worries.
So many new BBC newsreaders popping up on my TV screen! Looks like everyone it going to get their chance to read the autocue during the coming months.
Meanwhile, I have decided to cease experiments on Charmaine, for the time being. She has instructed me to use my time constructively and instead of watching the 24hr rolling news channel I could instead clean the bath; read my pile of books; do some calligraphy; have a good clear out; blog more; shave my armpits; write a book; write a short story; and WASH MY HANDS. She has a point – especially regarding the bath and my armpits.
I feel a bit discombobulated. I imagine we are all feeling much the same. The UK are only testing for Coronavirus in hospitals, which I guess will skewer the death rate – making it look worse than it is. Also, surely we need to know who has developed immunity so that they can help others without fear of passing on a nasty bug? For example, if I knew I was immune I would be willing to help out in the local care home, or stack shelves in the supermarket, or read the news. I am just saying.
Shall we have a tune?