Registered First Class

Ihave been outside!! I know, crazy talk. I had a little trip to the coast and took a picture of the sea.

The rocky path to the sea…

Thankfully I did not break any bones whilst traversing the rocks. Though I did have an altercation with a seagull, which I turned to stone…. using superglue, obviously.

Turned to stone….

Meanwhile, back in the studio I am bordering on prolific as I have made another one of these….

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It’s raw here…

Inspired by the icy weather at the weekend, I cut up some more vintage books to illustrate how I was feeling, and recycled a blog comment – we shouldn’t simply throw them away, should we? They will probably cause mayhem in the future if left abandoned all over the Blogosphere – think of the bots choking on the code!!

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Keep your trousers on!!!

And, I decided my avatar would look fetching on a stamp….

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First Class!!!!

Okay, Mr Devine, you can stop holding your breath now….

A Portrait of the Universe….

…..on a chair!!!

For Mr Devine. I hope he has received it by now. I posted it [via a red post box] on Thursday, so I’m guessing he should be, at this very moment in time, overwhelmed by the magnitude of his mail. Or, the postman has dropped it in a puddle and he is now drying out the universe on a radiator whilst eating a ham sandwich. I send these things out and hope for the best, but I do keep a photographic record just in case there is a hideous incident along the way.

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YES!!! The Universe!!! Now available…. ON A CHAIR!!!!!!

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The USS Enterprise….ON A CHAIR!!!

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A CHAIR!!!!!!!

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…sent with an explanatory note….

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….and an appropriate stamp, featuring Ms Norma.

I know that this is probably not the most visually stimulating art, but I so enjoyed making it! I enjoyed making it so much that I even bothered to hunt down an appropriate stamp. I intend to make more, I intend to make more abstract versions of my blogging experience! Yes, the digital made real! Some I will send out to terrify delight a chosen victim recipient, and others I will keep to decorate the downstairs loo. Lots to do then!

Meanwhile, March was a sad month. Many thanks to everyone who left supportive comments on my previous post.

Cor, What a Scorcher!!!!

Iam determined to write at least two posts a month, as we are running out of February here is my second post. Warning: It’s a bit crap.

February has been warm, people in the UK have been roving around in shirtsleeves and shorts – this is unheard of, disturbing/unpleasant to look at, and as a result parts of the countryside have burst into flames. But do not worry, heavy rain is predicted for the weekend and there will be a cold snap in March. THERE WILL BE SNOW BEFORE APRIL. I am just saying.

Meanwhile, we are no further along with this Brexit business, but I have thoughtfully provided an infographic to help my readers make sense of it:-

scribbly mess

Brexit infographic

I think this sums up February in the UK.

I will have snow photos for you on March 21st, give or take a few days! And something even more exciting on March 22nd!!!!!!! I bet you can’t wait.

Why have cotton when you can have silk?

Iseldom speak of the days when I pretended to be Audrey Hepburn and travelled everywhere in a Mercedes Benz 300 Cabriolet. Friends and family considered my pretence as something to be endured, and the mode of transport an unnecessary expense, but they didn’t have my vision, or a chauffeur called Dylan.

Recruiting Dylan was easy, though more luck than judgement. I was returning from the corner shop, where I had bought a large bar of chocolate and because it was such a lovely day, I decided to travel home on a passing vintage bus. I knew the bus would take me 800 miles out of my way, and possibly through Italy, but I was feeling reckless, a little giddy, and I was wearing clean cotton knickers.

Some may think my excursion extravagant, perhaps wasteful; some may frown, purse their lips when reading this; and some may be exasperated by my misuse of the semi-colon, but is how I am: impetuous, even with grammar.

And so I grabbed myself a window seat on the bus, sat back, and considered eating my family sized bar of chocolate. Would it be greedy to eat it all in one sitting? Would my fellow travellers think me rude if I didn’t share? Despite my propensity for being temerarious, I still cared what people thought. Thankfully the bus collided with a donkey and cart and my dithering was brought to a halt. I peered out the window, widened my eyes in an attractive manner, only to see Trevor trying to intercept my journey by throwing fruit and veg all over the road. I sighed. Even my heavily applied CGI couldn’t disguise me from my stalker.

I looked out the window and saw an opportunity to escape. It was Dylan driving the Merc. He looked dashing, and possibly diabetic. We exchanged meaningful glances; coded messages; a mental handshake; a wink and a nod; and I realised my chocolate would be safe with him. So I hopped off the bus, but not before flirting outrageously with the bus driver so that I could steal his cap. I was pretty enough to get away with this sort of behaviour, especially when rendered in glorious Technicolor.

I plonked the stolen cap on Dylan’s bonce, thus anointing him my official chauffeur, and settled myself in the back of the Merc. This was more like it, what had I been thinking by using public transport? I had been a fool, a nincompoop. I took a bite of my family sized bar of chocolate. I relaxed, and decided that from now on all my knickers would be made of silk.

Decades Go by….Rinse, Repeat.

Between us, Jon and I have cobbled together a new meme, it is called ‘A Decade Ago’ or #adecadeago, which is exactly the same as ‘A Decade Ago’, but without spaces, and has a fancy hashtag slapped in front of it. To take part all you have to do is shimmy through your blog to 2009 and see what you were doing 10 years ago. For example, I was doing this: X-Rated. Yes, I was taking part in a meme!! I was collecting letters, talking about my favourite things, and waxing lyrical about udders, or some such. Mr XL’s comment summed it up best when he said: It’s like a bad Scrabble hand that you’ve made a triple score with, or something.

In the spirit of favourite things, I have decided that my 2019 is going to be all about FAVOURITE THINGS, and recycling, I know! Hot topic! And I am going to do my part by recycling old blog comments, and bits of old blog. For example, in response to my comment box HERE, I have made this:-

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Repeating Patterns…

It is called: Repeating Patterns 149, and is made from scraps of paper from my studio; a vintage book; and as previous described, old blog comments. It amuses me that I can take what was originally digital and turn it into something with a vintage aesthetic. And I love making these.
So, from the top….

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Little Scarlet….

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Many thanks to Mr Modo, in the guise of Mrs Westicott, for the comments! He is long gone from the blogs, but now he has been immortalised.

It might be your turn next, if you’ve ever left a comment on any of my blogs…

Shards of Glass….

….flew across the room when I flicked on the light switch in my studio. The lightbulb had exploded. I sighed and went to the kitchen for a dustpan and brush. Thankfully no glass had become precariously lodged in the ceiling. Those days were long gone. Or were they? Were these frequent near death experiences related to a bygone era? A long-lost plot? An unfinished paragraph that I had begun in 2006? I gazed into the middle distance and looked thoughtful.

Some hours later, after I had finished thinking and looking pretty at the same time, I ascended the stairs to my purpose-built garret at the bottom of the garden. They were still there where I had left them some years previously – a large cardboard box, and an old thick notebook stuffed with diagrams, maps, menus and all manner of paper ephemera. There was nothing more in the garret other than these items. I lifted the flaps on the box, faded, dry, and dusty, and counted the bottles within, there were two missing, which was no surprise. I pulled out the smallest, the first one I’d made. It contained a wax effigy pierced with pins. I rolled my eyes, how stupid of me to make the effigy using my own hair and clothes.

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On my mantelpiece today….

“I had misguidedly seen fit to use my own hair and clothing to produce the wax effigy, all silly superstitious fears had been pushed aside as I dispassionately pierced the effigy of myself with pins.”

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No wonder I have tinnitus….

It seems I had unwittingly cursed myself with misfortune. Thankfully during my long spell of thinking I had had a couple of interesting thoughts. Perhaps all was not lost. Perhaps I was taking these explosive mishaps a little too literally? Perhaps the mishaps were merely signs? Signs to tell me that I was on the wrong track; signs telling me to return to where it all began.

To be continued. Maybe.