Sunday Ketchup – The Omicron Week

So, December started well then, with a brand new Covid variant to send us into panic mode, and Storm Arwen, which plunged many of us into darkness, ahem. Things can only get better?

Meanwhile, I have been pondering my blog – if I am to keep the mantle of ‘Blogger’ I really ought to blog more often; more regularly; MORE CONSISTENTLY! With this in mind I have devised a new hook to hang regular posts on. I will attempt to post every Sunday like wot I used to, and my hook will be called: Sunday Ketchup. It will be a random account of my week and will include quotes from my journal [my very secret journal that I show no-one ever!]; photographs; collages; calligraphy; and, of course, the obligatory piece of Sunday music. How thrilled you must be to read of my good intentions. Again. Let us proceed…

The week began so well, and looked so pink and pretty….

I managed to do some calligraphy for Christmas cards, all was going well…

calligraphy for christmas cards

….but then I wrote this in my journal…

I swear I saw the Grim Reaper, he was driving an old black Audi; he had long black hair, grey skin and very blue eyes. He waved as he drove past – slowly and deliberately. It wasn’t my turn.

….and mid-week I found myself writing this in an email…

This means that on Monday I will ring the Omni Supplier team again, and have another Groundhog conversation with them. I actually don’t think I can bear to do that!

By Friday I was creating collages like this…

…and now I just I want to listen to this…

And that was the week that was. Let’s hope next week turns out better.

Oh, please make a note in your diary – The FGES caption competition will be held on 1st January 2022 and the winner announced on 31st January 2022. Thought I ought to mention that.

How to write a blog post….

I had lost my memory. AGAIN. Appalling. I had forgotten that I was an artistic genius of unparalleled proportions; that I was from a tiny village called Mogwash; and that my most recent artworks were made from vintage ephemera and ripped up books – but worst of all, I’d forgotten that I was the highly intelligent, yet modest author, of the much loved Wonky Words blog.

Months had gone by without me writing so much as a note to the bin men [I often do as I like to explain things]. The notion of writing a blog post felt heavy on my shoulders, and, I’d forgotten how. One voice in my head said: Just slap up some photos. Another said: Rehash a post from 1957. Voice 46 said: You’ll be fine, start typing and something will turn up. Voice 209 started having a row with voice 19 and I couldn’t make sense of what they were saying at all – perhaps something about putting things on chairs? Trampolines?? No idea.

Thankfully, it appeared that during October/November I had completed a couple of collages, and several photographs of these were languishing in my photo file….

collage-calligraphy-uk

collage-and-calligraphy

I’d also been busy turning my studio into a fairy grotto…

fairy-lights-and-rag-curtains-uk

…and observing hedgehogs interacting with fawns….

…and making demons for a Halloween gardening event.

I had obviously been very busy indeed. But something was nagging at me, I had forgotten something important. My knee twitched, and then I remembered….

*To be continued.

*I will set an alarm to remind me.

Breaking News…..

Apologies, I have been away panic buying fairy lights and fingerless gloves. I am hoping that the fairy lights will perk me up during the endless Winter of 2021 – 2024, just like they did during the endless Winter of 2014 – 2018. I have made preparations for the knee deep mud, and the inevitable Beast from the East, which will hit the UK for an afternoon in March. I have also made my garden a TRAMPOLINE FREE ZONE – bouncers beware.

Meanwhile, I have cobbled a collage together from bits of old newspaper and a vintage map of London.

Let us have a closer look at the news story from about the late 1950’s…
Click to make big.

If only news stories were as innocuous as this in 2021!

The woman poking her tongue out in the photograph is my Grandmother. She appears to be doing a Miley Cyrus impersonation…

The Blue family are always ahead of the times, and with this in mind I suggest that all of my readers go forth and buy fairy lights, as come 1st December the shelves will be bare of all Christmas decorations aside from two streaks of threadbare tinsel, and a grubby angel with wonky wings. You were warned.

Never Knowingly….

There has been much controversy in the British press regarding the new [now very old!] John Lewis ad, which features the actress/glamour model/author/Olympic gold medallist/circus performer/after dinner speaker/one time MP for Wigglesworth and Bendover, Fanny Mountjoy, who died earlier this year. Critics have accused John Lewis of focussing on the lesser aspects of Fanny’s achievements and in the brief summation of her life they have failed to acknowledge Fanny’s greater accomplishments, such as her much loved symphony in D minor – composed on the glockenspiel, and fondly known to all as ‘Lovelace and St Grace’.
Fanny’s family and friends have hit back arguing that this is how Fanny would like to have been remembered; for them Fanny will always be, first and foremost, a wife; mother; mistress and home-maker; as well as a sister; an aunt; a niece; a cousin; a god-daughter; a god-mother; a grandmother; and when occasion demanded, an uncle.
Critics have countered that John Lewis has undermined Fanny’s memory in the public psyche and have been grossly irresponsible to broadcast such a reduced and sentimental account of Fanny’s life.
Fanny’s family and friends have replied claiming that her family life was more significant than her groundbreaking thesis on high wire acrobatics and aerial fire eating, which led to her being shortlisted for a Nobel prize in chemistry.
Critics have gone on to suggest that family and friends wish to downplay some of Fanny’s more dubious activities, such as the night she is reported to have spent with naked activists at the Mini-Mart on Uppersnatch Common demonstrating over the demolition of an ice cream parlour some 200 miles away in Wigglesworth.
Family and friends [namely Richard Wood – third cousin, twice removed] have scoffed at this suggestion saying that her involvement was greatly overplayed and she was merely a bystander, albeit a naked bystander, photographed with an ice cream cone on her head and a sticky flake in her mitts; Richard claims that it was a very warm evening.
Critics are now meeting to decide their next riposte whilst friends and family have adjourned to their comfortable living rooms to await further developments, and to catch up with Britain’s Got Talent.
And so, dear reader, have John Lewis knowingly undersold Fanny Mountjoy? I’ll leave it to you to decide.

Originally published on The Scarlet Blue Archive 2nd June 2011

I am still here

I have not been enjoying 2021, and I do not like August – I took against it in 2000, and that was that. To get myself through it I have been reading novels – trashy and otherwise – and relying on my superpower, which is being able to fall asleep on a sixpence.
AND, I have been wielding my nibs and playing with double sided tape – but I seem to have been too lazy to slap up any pics on my blog… so here goes….

Apologies if I have put these pics up before – I’m surprised that I haven’t.

Anyhow, here is a concise list of stuff that I HAVE enjoyed this August:-

Book of the month: The Appeal by Janice Hallett – Laugh out loud funny, my copy will be winging its way to a friend very soon.

TV series: The Morning Show [Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon] – Surprisingly addictive – worth watching for Aniston’s meltdown in the final episode if nothing else.

And finally….

Health tip of the month: The correct resting tongue position really, really, really matters if you have chronic TMJ disorder caused by clenching.

Oh….and Sunday Music….

Here are the Answers…..

Yep. Here are THE answers to the Quickwits quiz from the previous post….

As before, click to make enormous.

Well, that’s a bit dull isn’t it?! I think everyone who guessed, guessed correctly. And some even guessed better than correctly. So now I am here twiddling my thumbs with nothing much more to say about 1938.

To make it up to you I will give you some more answers, only this time you have to make up the questions! Yay! It’s party central here! I PROMISE that there are actual questions to these answers, and they are not just random words, names, and numbers that I’ve made up off the top of my head. PROMISE, PROMISE, PROMISE. I have turned over a new leaf. Well, I have this week.

Here are some more answers:-

1) 1981

2) A seal

3) Hacking computers

4) Sophia Loren

5) Sheep

6) 1974

There, that should do. Two of the questions are tricky, BUT, someone will know them. Oh, final answer:-

7) No.

I’m sure EVERYONE will know the question to that one – he asked it so often.