Tough But Gentle Too…… [2022 Edition]

49 Replies

Ihave often wondered what it would be like to be a mum. According to Persil being a mum involves doing a lot of laundry, and not being able to afford pretty hats. Persil’s centenary ad [2007] features Marion, a single mother of two sons, and five daughters. Marion has just been mugged for the last packet of Birds Eye fish fingers and she is now lying prostrate in the washing powder aisle in Asda; her whole life is flickering before her like a series of old TV commercials.
Marion’s five daughters never needed much care – they never got grubby, and all were born with an innate understanding of intelligent dosing and how to handle excessive foam – it was in their jeans. The girls were neatly washed and scrubbed and dispensed out into the world shortly after their fourteenth birthdays. Unfortunately, Marion’s two sons, now 45 and 48 respectively, still live at home, and neither has the ability to set foot outside the house without being covered in mud/strawberry milkshake/banana/Bacardi/lipstick or baby oil. And, even though both became quantum physicists, neither have ever mastered the art of how to pour Persil into the soap powder drawer. Instead they have learnt that the laundry room is out of bounds – it is their mother’s secret, private, place where they must never venture – curiosity may leave them badly scolded.
Marion is tough but gentle and knows where, and how, to seek Comfort. Sometimes late at night the ‘boys’ hear the rumbling of the much loved washing machine accompanied by their mother’s squeals of delight as she deals with stain after stain whilst also making good use of the extra spin cycle.
Regaining consciousness, Marion smiles to herself… to hell with pretty hats…. the rewards of motherhood come thick and fast depending on the washing program.

First published on The Scarlet Blue Archive 13th May 2009 – edited and revised 2022

49 thoughts on “Tough But Gentle Too…… [2022 Edition]”

  1. Inexplicable DeVice

    Mugged for fishfingers?! I think Marion should consider going to Sainsburys rather than Asda. Or even the Co-op.

    And thank gods I never became a quantum physicist as I don’t like mud, strawberry milkshake, Bacardi, or lipstick. Banana and baby oil I can take or leave – usually not at the same time, though.

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    2. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – Asda is rough, and I should know, one of the first Asdas was built in my hometown.
      Quantum physicists are always splitting stuff without thinking of the consequences. They should at least consider aprons. And perhaps leaving stuff alone.
      Sx

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      2. Scarlet Post author

        Jon – Maybe I should have written one of the first in the South East!!! I’d never heard of Asda before it took over our small town. The kids from my school were banned from the cafeteria!
        Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Dinah – I did a laugh out loud!! Do you think anyone will notice if I do a sneaky edit and turn a tiny o into an a? Maybe I’ll consider this revision in the 2032 edit?!
      Sx

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  5. llcooljoe

    Lol thanks for the laugh. Do they make washing powder anymore? I thought it was all pods and liquid. At least Marion still gets the extra spin cycle that makes her hatless life more bearable.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Joey – I use pods, but they must still make powder as washing machines still have powder drawers, don’t they? Crikey I can’t keep up with all the changes. At least we still have the spin cycles!
      Sx

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  9. Mitzi

    I would have liked to have pushed a couple of sprogs out, I would have worn stockings and suspenders for the birth to keep my husband’s interest keen, but alas, my insides are all wrong, just as well, they would have ended up in a council care home for neglect once the novelty had worn off.

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      2. Scarlet Post author

        Dinah – I wouldn’t mind but I struggled with going north in the first place – maybe a couple of months in 1987, and now everything is south. Sod the electricity bill!
        Sx

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  11. Nick Gravity

    I gather Marion had a tough time at the supermarket. No sooner had she been mugged for the fish fingers, and staggered up off the floor, than she was mugged again for the last toilet roll and the last bag of Tayto smokey bacon crisps. She is currently in hospital with life-threatening injuries.

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  12. lisleman

    Stereotypes can be fun if we don’t take them seriously. Mum being over protective. Dad being a bumbling fool. Theoretical physicists not know how to wash their clothes. Persil should have used your rewrite of the storyline. It would have been much funnier.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Thank you, Bill! Yes, I am still waiting for an offer from Persil, hopefully they will offer something better than a lifetime supply of laundry tabs, and a Twixt.
      Sx

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    2. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – Glad to have been of service! It’s the cookie settings that give me grief if I am commenting on Blogger blogs – I have to untick the tracking box – and then remember to tick it again when I’m done. I hope you find a way round it, but I suggest looking at your settings. Nothing worse than being vexed.
      Meanwhile, Jon is away for a week, which means no daily blogger to round me up every day – I am wondering if I should take up the mantle of daily blogger for a week, though it’ll probably take me a week to decide!
      Sx

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  14. dinahmow

    Vexed.Hexed.What’s next?
    I am struggling at my own site and I haven’t changed any of my settings. I’ll see if I can at least get a photo posted…

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  15. Kevin

    It’s as well to keep quantum physicists out of the laundry, all that superstring plays havoc with the drum on the washing machine and unless Marion’s a 1980s porn star she’ll be waiting forever for a plumber to turn up.

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  16. looby

    My t-shirt currently looks like the “before” side of the screen on washing adverts before it is transformed into something which could blind a physicist at fifty paces. I had an argument with the road yesterday and my undergarments are dotted with blood. I use right-on eco wimp washing liquid which I’m not sure is going to be quite up to the job in the way that Persil would deal with it (and most fish within half a mile).

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Looby – Try non-bio Fairy. Eco stuff doesn’t cut the mustard, or blood, I find.
      Blimey, try to keep upright mate! You are a constant worry.
      Sx

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      1. looby

        I hope I can stop doing that doon Mr M. But the blame is 80% mine, 20% the state of the roads here.
        Thanks Ms S, when this hippie liquid runs out I’ll give it to the Fairies.

        Liked by 1 person

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