I have a new series of posts to delight and entertain! Following on from my globally popular series such as A book on a chair, Loopy Letters and Scarlet’s Guide to Public Toilets in the UK, I bring you: Notes From My Journals 1971 – 2021. These will include digital notes; handwritten notes; and photographs from my photo journal. For example here is a note from June 1975:-
And from more recently…
4th June 2021
Honestly, I am shaken by my encounter, but pleased I didn’t get into a slanging match. No point with people like that, is there? And I realise I haven’t explained what happened. In a nutshell: tractor with agricultural equipment being pulled behind, was hurtling towards us in a narrow lane; it stopped, but I didn’t think there was room enough for us to pass by; I walked back to a large passing point, so did my friend and her dog; the tractor then came to a halt beside us, and the driver ranted on about us not walking past when he’d stopped; I said that my dog wouldn’t and he replied that I shouldn’t be on the road then; he then made a point of staring at me; I didn’t reply and stared back, matching his aggressive eye contact; he then pretended to be about to let his snarling dog out of the tractor cab; I didn’t flinch; in the end he had to drive away with me still staring after him.
Guess I was cool really, but I didn’t feel it. I reckon he will deliberately try to kill me if he ever sees me again – I got that sort of vibe. Glad I wasn’t wearing the onesie.
And from my photo journal – My glorious pink bush….
Yes, this year I am determined to be ready for the Garden Competition.
Knee update: Saw Doctor on Friday, he claimed to be baffled and referred me to physio. Perhaps I should have shown him the wax effigy to explain the condition of my knee? Maybe next time.
I love the fact that you’re still as fierce as you were 46 years ago.
Nice bush! Jx
PS Maybe you should refashion the voodoo dolly into a likeness of that nasty farmer?
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Jon – I can be a little fierce when needed! Yes – that farmer better not leave any of his clothes lying around, otherwise he’ll be immortalised in wax and stabbed with pins – at least I know this method works.
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I came here only to view your pink bush, which I hear so much about, and then read that kind of language in your journal?!?!?!?!?! I’m only surprised you didn’t have a burn book?
And how did I miss Scarlet’s Guide to Public Toilets in the UK? That might have come in handy on my two day stay. Did it come with knee pads incidentally?
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I know, Mistress B! I had an interesting way with words even when I was a child.
I will have to repost some of my old toilet posts for your inspection – sadly no knee pads!
When are you coming over??????? EEEEK!!!!!
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P.S That was a squeal of joy, btw!
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“That was a squeal of joy” Funny , that’s what he said!
I was there for two days in 2019 to catch the British Pullman before heading to Vienna. Your book would have come in handy. But I wouldn’t pass up seeing your lovely pink bush in the future!
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Harrumph! In London for 48 and never even rang? I could have taken you on a guided tour of Ye Olde Cottages of England… Jx
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Mistress B and Jon – If Mistress B comes over again we will have to throw a party, and have a big meet up with the British contingent! Wouldn’t that be fab?! I’m sure we could persuade Mr Devine to come too.
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I could be persuaded to leave Norfolk for just such an occasion, I’m sure…
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That would be excellent, Mr Devine! I hope one day there will be such an occasion, without masks!
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That would be fun!!!!!! I can drink with Jon, see your pink bush and I’m sure I could make it worth Mr DeVice’s while to make such a trek on broom.
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Your bush looks like an azaelea. And it’s MUCH smaller than the Thing that infested our friend’s side board.
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Dinah – I need all my plants identified by someone who knows, I am hopeless. I know that my bush has been invaded by a fern. I like the ferns, so it’ll probably stay that way.
I should really have put my bush on Mr Devine’s sideboard, I guess there is still time?! I might do it when everyone else is sleeping.
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I think it only happens if someone with a WordPress blog re-blogs another WP post. And when the elves blogify it the Bad Magic happens.
Scientific, innit!
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Dinah…. So technically I could reblog my own blog? Interesting. I once managed a sideboard invasion when I used the feature facility for a photograph – I don’t think that bit of magic works any more though.
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Well, seeing as Melanie has managed to do some resizing trickery, there is now room for another big, pink something…
As for your plants, that variegated bush behind and to the left of your Big Pink Bush (Azalea indeed, Dinah) looks like some sort of Pieris, to the right I can see some copper beech leaves, and on the far left that could be a yew just poking into frame? Nice dahlia, too (with sprigs of lavender).
Christ! I’m worn out after all that. Where’s the Official Blogorati Plant Spotter, Jon, when you need him?
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Mr Devine – Maybe I should use my calligraphy skills to label my plants, otherwise I’ll never remember. I could write on lolly sticks. This means I NEED to buy some lollies.
I love my Copper Beech, I want it to grow into a huge beast, but apparently this is unwise as the roots spread widely and this beech is too close to the house. And the cows.
A yew? I will check.
Have a rest Mr Devine, I think you deserve one!
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Reclining on my chaise… Jx
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I am about to purchase a much needed garden chaise.
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“Reclining on my chaise…” Fag in one hand, cider in the other… I can imagine it now, Jon x
Will I have to bring my own chaise with me to The Great Blogorati Meet Up when it happens?
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I am expecting some sort of broomstick-chaise combo from you, Mr Devine.
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I intend to arrive by sedan chair, but no need to stand on ceremony. Jx
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Jon – I will revive my flying bath mat!
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I’ll alert air traffic control once we know when this is going to take place. It’s probably best if the skies are cleared nationwide!
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Crikey, it’s going to be a bigger do than the G7 malarkey!
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Dinah, I agree. That is what I was thinking too. I have five Treasure Azaleas that have white flowers to brighten up a shady spot. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a picture in time before a big downpour made a mess of them.
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Melanie – You have reminded me – I need to take pics of the Hawthorn – I have a large Hawthorn tree in the garden and I noticed this morning that it’s already shedding white confetti in the breeze.
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It’s nice to see someone else likes Hawthorn trees! I love mine, but I feel like they don’t get a lot of respect compared to fancier, popular trees and bushes.
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Ooh! A voyeuristic foray into Ms Scarlet’s privates! Oh, you know what I mean.
And, yes, Julie is a big, fat, snot!
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Mr Devine – I know! Exciting isn’t it?
SNOB!!! She was a snob. She really was. Anyhow, got to cook me tea.
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Oh, yes, Isee now. I read it too quickly. Besides, when someone calls me a snob, I take it as a compliment!
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God, she was posh, she had a suede patchwork mini skirt at the age of 10, I wanted a skirt like that so badly, it was 1975 after all. And there was me in my sister’s cast-offs.
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P.S I can be snobby too! Mostly about shoes though.
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I think Jon is recovering from his Big Day/Night Out.
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And I imagine he is delicate after a day on his work laptop.
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Delicate?! Moi?!!! A few ciders, and I’m back in the swing of things. Jx
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Blimey, Jon, you are made of stern stuff!
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Don’t start me on those murderous tractorists. I had a few nasty encounters with some while working in the bookmines (they were located in the middle of nowhere, at an agricultural school), and even recently. It is well possible that such a hyper-powered all-terrain vehicle is driven by a seventeen year old idiot who of course has to scroll through the messages on his ohone while single-handedly ramming a six ton vehicle and a twentythousand liter tank of liquidmanure through the woods. Keep away from this tractor please, it’s an accident in waiting, no need that you, your friends, or Sid, have to suffer from it.
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Mr Mags – Most of the tractor people in these parts are well behaved, it’s the outside contractors we have to watch, plus we do have a new teen who drives way too fast. I keep my ears open and am always aware of how far it is to run to the nearest passing point. And they say that exercise is good for stress – I’m not so sure!
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Adrenaline clears the veins …
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Mr Mags – Well, there is that!
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How many times has your bush been invaded?
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Ms Mistress – Let’s not go there!!
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You are brave to share your early diaries! I don’t think my early ones would be much fun. It’s all pages and pages of a boy who did or did not look at me on that particular day and me trying to decipher what, if anything, it meant.
The most exciting years of my life were spent living in the moment and as such have no written documentation. As I was quite bad ass, it wouldn’t have been prudent anyways. Those years are written in scars. I like a rough tumble. Sometimes there was a 50/50 chance I might fuck’em or fight’em or both. Maybe that’s why David Bowie was afraid of Americans (per that song title)? Mwhahaha. 🙂
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Melanie – Same here, my teens were mostly undocumented, and I’m sad about that now; there aren’t many photos either. I have a lot of school stuff, which raises my eyebrows – I might share some of that. I have a few scars too!
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Gosh, lively here isn’t it? I misread the title and was expecting something about a Big Pink Brush, but it all makes sense now, after a fashion. A fine Bush, well tended, and some Marion Richardson handwriting – all very neat and proper. I wonder what became of Julie?
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Mr Batarde – Why do I now feel the need to dye a fox pink? Or find a big pink brush that would rival anything Jeff Koons could produce?
Yep, that’s how my writing started – it’s come a long way since!
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P.S – I also wonder what became of Julie. I thought it wise to cover her surname – just in case! I might Google her, in a vague sort of way.
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“…Google her, in a vague sort of way.” – is that an option on their search page that I don’t know about?
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Bill – By vague, I mean that I will simply Google her name and but not spend hours hunting her down on Facebook, or anything like that. I did do a quick Google search, but nothing came up, and I will leave it there!
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Well done for not flinching in the stare-off! But what i it about your onesie that inflames drivers of agricultural machinery?
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Looby – It’s a very silly garment! I don’t think I would have been confident enough to do the staring thing if I’d been wearing it. Thankfully I was wearing my tribute to Liam Gallagher, which was perfect.
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and she’s a smelly _ _ _ _ _ ? Pray tell Scarlet otherwise I won’t sleep tonight.
There was a girl in our class who used to look down her nose at those who had free school dinners, I would have gladly paid for a school dinner on the day the said girl had the slop bucket tipped over her head by Nicky Dunlin from the council estate.
Love the pink bloom, is it a Clittoria Vulgaria?
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Mitzi – I’ll have you know that there is nothing Vulgaria about my Clittoria.
Moving on – I so wish I could remember! She’s a smelly….???? I have no idea. I wasn’t very good at insults in 1975, as you can tell by the ‘head full of water’ description. I was maybe leaving it blank until I learnt a good word to fill it.
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Close encounters of the tractor kind – beautiful garden pics – old note from the past – and a wonderful scroll through the comments ==> I had a very enjoyable browsing visit.
I plan to google your guide to public toilets in vague sort of way. Oh, is the WC expression still used for them?
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Bill – Water Closet!! We should have kept calling public loos water closets – I think I will from this moment on. Imagine stopping at a motorway service area and asking for directions to the nearest water closet. I so have to do that!
Very pleased you enjoyed your visit!
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There may be a copy cat around. I remember to have read / seen a mention of a blog (?) that discusses public lavatories, especially sinks (“Handwaschbecken”). Just some days ago, in a magazine if I remember correctly. I thought of your series, but for whatever reasons I did not write it down. (I could not rip out the page, sorry.)
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Mr Mags – I know!! Public Toilet reviews became popular – I really should have continued with that series, but after a while I just felt overwhelmed by porcelain.
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Oh my Golly Gosh I am here at last, thanks to a lot of help from Dolores Delargo.
Your pink bush is very sweet.
And I can emphasise with your Farmer trauma. I was once on a walk up to Dartmoor and on a very small remote path and had to pass a farm near Sheepstor. It was a deep lane They had a full pack of very not visitor friendly dogs which were all at head level ! I survived but it was one of the scariest moments of my life .
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Hello and a big warm welcome, Madam A!!! Apologies for my late reply, things can get rather slack around here – I am not as diligent as Jon.
The dog experience sounds unpleasant, that would have scared me too. I’ve been followed by horses on a public footpath, and that was also unnerving as they kept trying to nudge my dog [on lead]. I guess the best thing to do is keep calm and move slowly, even though instinct says otherwise.
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Hello dear I am still trying to get a grip on this World Press thing but I will eventually.
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Tractor man is just an arrogant oaf. But yes, he’s probably planning something nasty should he encounter you again. I’ve contacted my local hitman to get rid of him. Only £200, cheap at the price. No need to pay me until I’ve seen the death notice.
Julie sounds equally dislikeable. I hope she got her comeuppance. Maybe all the water in her head finally drowned her.
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Nick – Apologies for tardy reply – I am a lazy baggage.
Thank you so much for the hitman!! Yep, sounds a very reasonable price.
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“head full of water”
remind me never to get on your bad side! 🙂
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Kylie – I know! I think my bad side might have toughened up since then – though it’s still hard for people to make it there!
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it is a very glorious pink bush and I also think it’s an azalea. I don’t grow them because the soil isn’t right here. I’m rather tempted by the thought of a pot one, now.
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Z – I love that bush, or shrub! It’s so bright and it’s really done well this year; yes, get a potted one the colour is so cheering!
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Ah, I loved this. Wish we could manage a bit of time travel then we could pop back and let that fellow’s tractor tyres down !!!
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Good idea, Mr Ducks!! He really was a nasty piece of work. I’m glad I didn’t rise to him and he ended up looking like a flapping idiot.
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