Until…. [Part 2]

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….I went rummaging through my old blog looking for an old advert post for mascara when I found this instead, from 2009. Shocked!!! Did I really write such things??? I’m not even sure if I should republish this…..but I am going to because this blog has been far too gloomy lately, and this is a different spin on toothache.

This is possibly one of my worst posts, EVER. From HERE

Cathy is not a dentist [she states this quite clearly]. She has spent the last 4 months detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure in Holloway as punishment for making films featuring scenes of torture and abuse; she is now unemployed but enjoys dressing up as an air hostess. Cathy has toothache, and an oral fetish; she has now broken into the dental surgery to polish some instruments. Mr Davis [the real dentist] is startled to find her in his surgery handling his scarifying tool, and a tube of toothpaste, but he is impressed by her tonguing action, and he has a professional interest in her misshapen mandibles. Because of his attention, Cathy gets a little overexcited and flashes her Crest. In a fit of wild abandon Cathy slips and knocks out her front tooth on the narcosis apparatus. She is crestfallen. Mr Davis ushers her into his black leather chair for a thorough examination. Cathy sighs as she feels him in her mouth – she is in her element, she begins to froth and lets him poke around until he fills her all of her cavities….

Soz.

42 thoughts on “Until…. [Part 2]”

  3. The Mistress

    Frankly, I don’t remember seeing this clip before. Yet I commented on it!

    Some of us are getting to a stage in life where we forget what we (and others) have previously posted. So feel free to have a “Flashback Friday” any day of the week.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Dear Mistress – Flashback Friday seems like something I could actually achieve – so yes, expect more!
      I don’t really remember writing this post – a lot of my old posts raise my eyebrows [what’s left of them].
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. Mitzi

    I thought about you the other day when I was watching a gardening programme, I can’t remember which one it was now, either Beechgrove or Gardeners’ World, they showed us an edible flower called Electric Daisy AKA the toothache plant that numbs your mouth.

    Liked by 3 people

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    2. Scarlet Post author

      Mitzi – I have Googled, and Electric Daisy sounds like it could be fun. I will try to grow some next year, thus killing two birds with one stone – my toothache, and having something to submit to Mr Devine’s gardening competition.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

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  8. Inexplicable DeVice

    Gosh! That got a bit saucy, didn’t it. I second (well, third, really, as Dinah got in before me) your motion to write “What a Carry On” type adverts.

    P.S. Extremely good use of the word “crestfallen”. I found myself nodding and smirking at the screen!

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Mr Devine – Knowing me, the whole post was constructed so that I could use the word ‘Crestfallen’!
      Crikey, I was saucy back then, but then again I had more hormones.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

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  9. Scarlet Post author

    You smutty lot!! I shall reply to comments individually tomorrow, but for the time being I am relaxing on my chaise longue after an interesting day. Guess what, good news – I do not have to have any teeth out – turns out that it was my jaw causing the pain all along. Stress and jaw clenching. Tsk.
    Sx

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Nick Rogers

    Glad to hear your tooth is safe and there won’t be any unsightly apertures. I’m sure some Carry On style ads would be most entertaining – or even a full-length movie Carry On Blogging, starring Julia Davis, Vicki Pepperdine and Foil Arms and Hog.

    Goodness, that Cathy is a wild one. I’m glad she’s not claiming to be a real dentist, I wouldn’t want her to be tackling my gingivitis. Who knows where her hands might end up.

    I’m equally astonished when I re-read some of my old blog posts. Did I write that? Surely not? What was I thinking?

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – Yes, I’m really pleased about the teeth, but I still have to familiarise myself with the jaw exercises or I won’t be any further forward. I still have pain, and I still need to see a dentist about a mouth splint… and I still need a dental hygienist, but yay, I should keep the teeth.
      I know – some of my old posts make me want to crawl under my desk and pretend that they’re nothing to do with me. Honestly, I don’t know where my head was at.
      Sx

      Liked by 1 person

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  11. lisleman

    I’ve reposted my favorite posts. When I pick a favorite I don’t bother with being objective. Sorta like picking a favorite child. Short of reposting, I’ll include a link to past post that relates to the subject. I’ve had a reader tell me that they recall the post so the fact that someone remembers is a good sign.
    Oh that dried out chunk of tartar looks like the calculus that Newton found stuck to his teeth back in 1666.

    Liked by 3 people

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  12. Scarlet Post author

    Bill – Re the tartar – my mum used to tell me that it was the tartar that kept her teeth in – photographs of her mouth are now being used by the NHS to demonstrate what can go wrong if you don’t look after your mouth – I kid you not, I gave them permission.
    Sx

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      No, Sweetie, are you wearing your rose coloured spectacles again?
      Sx
      Actually WordPress have been on the fiddle and have altered my fonts, and possibly a few other things. There was a memo a month ago that I glanced at.

      Liked by 1 person

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