Apologies, I have been stuck up my archive, and have been sorting bits of paper into piles. My mother seems to have kept every greeting card that popped through the letterbox since 1963. It has been fascinating, and I thought that, over time, I would share some gems, like this greeting card from the 1970’s – so innocent, and yet also a little bit wrong.
Captions welcome! There may even be a prize!
Wonky Words 
“I keep rubbing it but it’s not getting any bigger.”
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Are you angling for compliments, Mr Looby?
Sx
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That’s so cool! I love old cards, they making me smile. 😊😊😊
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Thank you, Marge! I think I have enough old cards to keep me posting for the next ten years…
Sx
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😂😂😂
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“I say, Julian, do stop fiddling with your rod and come and have a look – George and Anne have taught Timmy a new trick”.
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Mr Batarde – Young Master Dick always did have all the best lines, he knew how to reel them in.
Sx
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Well, it’s been a long day here and I’m about to hit the hay so I certainly can’t top Mr. Batarde’s gem. I shall dream all bloody night of the Five and lashings of lemonade. (Kaz would have loved this.)
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Dinah – And Ginger Beer! And all those sandwiches lovingly prepared by Anne!
Kaz would have indeed given good comment.
Sx
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“I say, Julian, time to get undressed for the Infomaniac version of this card.”
Did I win yet?
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Mr Lax – Oh my goodness, you mean the naked wrinkly version where they are wearing nothing but socks and sandals?!
Sx
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or at least Crocs. I hope MJ didn’t hear that.
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I hope MJ did hear that, it might wake her up and get her attention!
Sx
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“Quick, Jeremy – I have a big one! You may need to help me pull it out.”
Jx
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Jon – It’s probably a slippery eel.
Sx
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“Oh, how disappointing. You’ve only got a tiddler.”
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Mr Devine – We all need something for starters.
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Julian suspected Jeremy wouldn’t notice if he swung his rod into Jeremy’s gaping flaps.
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Mr Devine – Well spotted! Those flaps are enormous, I’m sure they’d accommodate a large truck.
Sx
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“Quick! I don’t think we have the whole tent popped up yet!”
I actually adore that card. And like your mother, I think I have most cards and if not every hand written letter I have received since the early 90’s.
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Mistress B – Cards and letters are impossible to get rid of, aren’t they? Somebody has gone to the trouble to write, and send good wishes – yes, I keep most of my letters and cards too!
Sx
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“Now, Eugene, don’t drive the tent stake through your femoral artery like last…oops, too late.”
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Rimpy – Ouch!
Sx
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Come on Tom, hurry up and get your clothes off and then you can come and hold my rod for me.
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Joey – Goodness, there aren’t any flies on you!
Sx
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Have I got a gaping maw for you Everard!
My mother, who is not short of a bob or two, collects Muller yoghurt pots, she has over 200 of them stacked in columns in the cupboard underneath her kitchen sink. Why? I ask, ‘because you never know when they will come in handy… look’ she points to her kitchen window sill on which a Tronco de la suerte is nestled inside a Muller yoghurt pot and again she points at her kitchen worktop next to her kettle is a Muller yoghurt pot filled with used teabags .
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Mitzi – Everard! I wonder what became of him?
Meanwhile, I agree with your mother! Only I collect Gu pots. I use them for all manner of things – for loose change; for water in my studio; for odd buttons and bits; anything small goes in a Gu pot.
Sx
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I had to look up “Gu pot” which I suspect is actually Gü. I so glad the English spelling of words don’t need accent marks. I never remember what to do with an umlaut.
It really was “pot” part that sparked my interest. More and more states here have gone the legal recreational pot route for tax revenues. So Gü is brand of desserts with a container that could store a stash of pot.
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Bill – I’m not sure the marketing people at Gu would like the association with pot! I should have said ‘ramekin’ , but I don’t know how to spell that.
Sx
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Last heard of, I think Everard had absconded with “pop-it-in Pete”, the postman!
And if I stay on this post much longer I’ll have to double Muriel’s sedatives at tea time. She’s in the hall cupboard looking for-…MURIEL!NO!!!
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I think I need to double my sedatives, or at least have some whiskey in my milk.
Sx
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“Bloody hell, Desperate Dan’s eaten my cow pie. I was looking forward to that.”
“You mean, he’s had a slice?”
“No, the whole bloody thing. Greedy bastard.”
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Nick – Oh dear, I hope someone remembered to pack the Gaviscon?
Sx
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something something Brokeback Mountain something….
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Mr Peenee – Now this appeals to the minimalist in me.
Sx
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“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. I just need to grab the hatchet behind you.”
(some bloody scene direction)
(sounds of screaming)
Scene from the never released “Maxwell Edison finds a red hatchet” music video.
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Bill – I am startled by your gory comment.
Sx
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https://mbodypower479768866.wordpress.com/2019/05/29/the-sunshine-blogger-award-yay-d/
Your blog is under number 7
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Thank you, Marge!
Sx
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This image is too charming for my rude captions xxx
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Lulu – Go on, go on, go on 😁!
Sx
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“Oh, Dennis, there’s some lovely filth in here!”
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