…..I was involved in a head on collision. Of course I was. What could be more fitting given the unsavoury nature of 2018 thus far? It is okay, I am fine. I was being transported in a Land Rover Defender – imagine me, perched up high in the passenger seat, knees together, with gloved hands neatly resting on my handbag. My eyes widened on impact, and my barely there eyebrow arched for the occasion. I might have screamed a little as well. I tell a lie, there was much screaming and sobbing – after all, I was about to miss a much-needed hair appointment.
With whom did I collide? A Yodel delivery van. It is that time of year when white vans go into overdrive, and speed around country lanes trying to deliver Christmas in time for…er… Christmas. Obviously I am still in a state of shock, but I am incredibly grateful that I wasn’t in the car, it is only a fluke that I was in the Land Rover instead.
So, my lovelies, be careful out there, you never know what’s around the next corner.
Wonky Words 
Oh my heavens! How terrifying that must have been for you! I am so very glad you are okay. Is the other person okay? Hopefully the vehicles are not mortally wounded. Will Christmas arrive on time? xoxo
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I think the other driver was badly shaken, but physically okay. This is the problem with country lanes, people drive and don’t expect to come across other vehicles.
The Yodel van came off worse, and although the Land Rover is wounded, it is repairable – very sad though because it’s very old.
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Eeeeek. Immensely relieved to hear that you emerged unscathed, but crikey. Please consider staying at home for the time being: your luck clearly isn’t in at the moment.
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Agreed, Mr Batarde!!! I am staying home for the foreseeable!! The shutters are coming down until 2019…. Oops… have just seen a typo in my post, I have jumped a year… you see this is how shocked I am, ie. I no longer know what year it is!
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I should have grandpa’s tank in a barn somewhere. Good for maximum protection, bad bad for freshly done hair – ah compromises ….
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A tank sounds like the only solution, Mr Mags!
Sx
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Yikes! I hope there was at least time for some feet-heavily-on-brakes action to allay whiplash and seatbelt brusies and the like? Poor you. You seem to be having a rotten last half of 2018. The year is nearly over, though, so let’s hope you get through it without further misery. Oh, and with a new ‘do, too!
P.S. Should the Yodel van not have been yodelling loudly to announce its presence and, therefore, try and avoid this type of incident?
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Not sure what the Yodel van was doing, Mr Devine, most certainly not looking where it was going!
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I am uncertain as to the descriptor “Yodel van.” It reads like a euphemism for something not spoken of around small children.
Does the Yodel man wear a plastic mac and lurk around school gates?
Very pleased to hear you are OK. Oh! Did the bump fix your tinnitus?
Oh, this is all too much for this hour…I need more coffee!
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“Devon Defender banged by Yodel van.” Far from the headless corpse in the topless bar, but it could be developed … I have absolutely no idea what yodeling in a van has to do with it.
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Dinah – I was hoping this little accident would be a miracle cure for tinnitus! Sadly, it wasn’t.
Yodel is simply a UK delivery company… like DHL, or Hermes. Yodel sounds rather jolly and harmless – not so!!
Sx
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Blimey, glad you weren’t injured. A lot of country roads and near misses (or not) around here – the girl who knocked off my wing mirror a while ago said indignantly that she hadn’t been doing more than 30. I had to explain what driving on single-track roads with poor visibility entails.
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Z – Some people shouldn’t be allowed to drive on country lanes! People ride horses along our lanes – I imagine they do where you are, too… and there are often heavy agricultural vehicles buzzing around. I reckon the Yodel driver was lucky that he only encountered a Land Rover. Poor man was very shaken up though.
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Most importantly – did you get your hair done? Jx
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No Jon, I didn’t!!! I missed my appointment. It has been rearranged.
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Your appointment or your hair? Maybe both.
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“Yodel delivery van”
Are they Swiss? They are not to be trusted. They put holes in their cheese, you know.
Let’s be careful out there.
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Mr Lax – I’ve no idea where they got their name from!
Is that clip from The Hill Street Blues? I used to enjoy that.
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Who needs a hair appointment when you’ve got Yodel delivery van collisions to attend to.
I joke because you seem okay. You are okay, aren’t you? Also, it felt funny to “like” this post. I don’t really LIKE it but it’s a habit.
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I am fine, Monsieur Pain! just a bit miffed that I didn’t get my hair done. It’s just one of those things and it could have been worse.
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Flippin ek, Scarlet, time to engage a mobile hairdresser! Glad you’re not injured and seem to be taking it in your stride – and that you were in a sturdy vehicle. X
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A mobile hairdresser, now there’s a thought! I think I’ve recovered now, apologies for the late reply, Eyrl!
Sx
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Glad to hear it. I do hope you’ll have a calm and cheerful festive season, X
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Sorry for your troubles, and am glad to hear you’re alright. That driver should have given you a free Yodel in the Valley in compensation.
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Sorry for the late reply, Rimpy! I am fine. I am still waiting for something to happen in my valley though.
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OWch! It sounds like you’re coping like the true heroine that you are. I hope you have plenty of scarves to hide your barnet until you can make another appointment xxxx
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I am a heroine, Lulu! I have been in the wars, so to speak, not real wars, but I have been besieged by personal battles. Thankfully I have scarves. I have been desperately trying to use them in a way that isn’t reminiscent of Margaret Thatcher in a tank and have failed miserably.
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I sent you an email.
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Indeed!
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Blimey, that was a narrow escape. Lucky you were in a good solid vehicle as you say. Country lanes are indeed treacherous. I remember as a teenager being driven along a country lane by a speed-crazy girlfriend. A nasty bend and we went straight off the road, through a hedge and into a muddy field. We somehow managed to get the car back onto the road.
I hope your next trip to the hairdresser is less dramatic.
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You were lucky not to hit any livestock, Nick! I hope your ex-crazy-girlfriend has found sanctuary in a city.
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your hairdresser must be nicer than the last one I saw because I think I would prefer a collision with a yodelling van driver…
hang on, that didn’t come out quite right
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Kylie, have you written a post about this encounter with a hairdresser? It doesn’t sound fun. Hairdressers – they have far too much power.
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Wowzer, I’m glad you are sort of okay Scarlet, I hope that the shock goes soon, you must still feel shaken, hugs xxx
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Ms Nibs – Thank you! I think I have recovered now…. but have been shaken by OTHER things. I would like a month when I am merely stirred instead.
Sx
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Eyebrow alopecia. tinnitus and a head on collision with a delivery van you do lead an exciting life, they say these things come in threes now you have had your third you should be back to normal.
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Mitzi – I am going to embrace Norman whether he likes it or not…. the same goes for normal.
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Good that no injuries resulted from this mismanagement of moving objects. Is wasn’t an Uber ride was it? I don’t trust Uber. My last moving object accident was with an overgrown weed and not the kind you can smoke. I should do a post on it but it was so stupid.
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Bill – please post the ‘so stupid’, it’ll make me feel less alone!
We don’t have Uber in these parts Bill, they wouldn’t stand a chance.
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Oh dear. If it’s any consolation, you won THE SHORTS in 2018 AND your garden pic has just been posted.
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Ms Mistress – I DID WIN THE SHORTS!!!! The new pair are a lot smaller than the old pair… and they are pristine. Do you think I should rough them up a bit?
Apologies for my ghastly garden pic. I should have sent in a pic of some tumble weed.
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Very late to the party and far to late to add a useful comment but I am really pleased you are OK. I was involved in a head on collision once, when a land rover, driven by a drunk driver, overtook a lorry and thus blocked off my opposing lane. My car, a Saab, was a write off after the event but I was unhurt apart from a small supply of cosmetic bruising. Still, I remember the event and I know it can be unsettling. I can only hope that the upcoming deluge of mince pies and other treats help eradicate the pain from your memory. Hope all is good with you xx 🙂
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Good heavens, Mr Ducks, where have I been? I could’ve sworn that I’d replied to my comments!
Anyhow, your incident sounds much, much worse than mine. I really would not like to be at the receiving end of a Land Rover.
I am feeling much better, and despite the raging tinnitus I think I ought to throw another party…
Sx
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