Another Invitation of Sorts [Tales From Luddley-cum-Mogwash, Part 44]

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bottled-money-how-to-make-money-from-craft-making

Bottled Temptation

Moonchild Etherington-Smythe, owner of the Viridian Venus gallery, gathers the post from the doormat as she breezes into her colourful domain causing the tassels on her sequined scarf to fly in her wake. She is no longer just a small time gallery owner; thanks to her huge online profile [13 million followers on Instagram and 50,000 Likes on her Facebook page] she is now also responsible for running a network of crafty workshops across the UK, and Malta. Workshops include: Whittling Abstract Spoons [spoons without handles and vice versa]; How To Express The Sound Of A Vacuum Cleaner Through The Medium Of Paint [ever popular]; How To Write Like A Two Year Old [inky fun, no previous experience necessary, only £60 per head]; AND, Generic Retailing [how to sell new-found skills online within five minutes of learning them]. Moonchild is proud of her artistic success. She is proud to be such a creative inspiration for so many people and, she is proud to be at the apex of the crafting pyramid.

Moonchild flicks through her mail before taking off her velvet coat and flinging it on the counter. A grey envelope draws her attention, she turns it over and caresses her name and address with her stubby ring stuffed fingers. The address feels raised, as if embossed.

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A Peculiar E

Moonchild is familiar with the craft of calligraphy, she smiles and nods approvingly as her eyes settle on a distinctive, wonky ‘g’, and the curvy, very peculiar ‘E’. Someone after my own heart, she thinks. She pauses and decides against tearing the envelope with her fingernails, instead she takes a pair of mini pinking shears from beneath the counter and carefully cuts a shark tooth row across the top of the envelope. She tries to guess the nature of the invitation, because surely this has to be an invitation?
Within the envelope there are two pieces of brown cardboard taped together to protect the inner content. Moonchild snorts and expertly makes short shrift of the tape, she tosses the cardboard into the bin and places a black and white photograph of a bottle on top of her velvet coat.
What sort of game is this? She wonders. She turns the photograph over to reveal a scribbled time, date, and address: 8pm, 21st November 2045, Mogwash Village Hall, Mogwash. As a squally wind causes the gallery door to swing open, a memory recollects, and Moonchild is chilled to the bone.

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A Bad Memory?

38 thoughts on “Another Invitation of Sorts [Tales From Luddley-cum-Mogwash, Part 44]”

  2. IDV

    Sequins? Check. Calligraphy? Check. Bottled things? Check.
    Yay! Another Mogwash Whodunnit Mystery has begun!

    I am going to ensure I have plenty of aspirin and/or gin for the headaches that are sure to beset me as I hopelessly try to work out what’s going on!

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      *shuffles feet awkwardly* Unfortunately this is a stubborn continuation of the old story…. but I guess it may as well be new, Mr Devine!
      We first met Moonchild HERE, way back in July 2014…. but this was really November 2006….
      Anyhow, this is my first real Mogwash post since April 2015! What does happen to time???
      Sx

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    2. IDV

      A continuation?

      Oh.

      ::desperately hopes that one is not expected to remember stuff from last year*, nevermind 2014/2006::

      * Although, having said that, I do remember you getting clonked on the head, Wellington boots, paving a field(?), a skip in someone’s driveway, a Christmas (nativity?) play, and lots of strange stuff in bottles, so carry on!

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      1. Scarlet Post author

        I think you remember them better than I do, Mr Devine!
        They are, I suppose, little vignettes that have a vague connection…. I seem to want to write them when I don’t want to think about something else. It’s been an odd sort of week. Something particularly nasty happened in the house where I originally wrote these pieces…. very sad, unpleasant stuff…. AND there is stuff that I am permanently stressed about, so instead of dumping all that on all the kind people who visit me you get Mogwash instead!
        Sxxx

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  3. 63mago

    I only hope this so called “archaeologist” stopped digging up places, unpleasant type, German I guess. I remember Moonchild, and wasn’t there a tea-bag-collecting-society ? I think when we left Mogwash some threads were still tangling …

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      1. 63mago

        Why not visualise it like what you do when you analise relation of a group’s members to each other ? Usually you analise relations between persons and then you see that a group forms, like the inner circle of the pizza connection or so … And then there’s always a “gordic” solution, the big whack.

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  4. Princess

    Oooh… I like that bit about “Threads still tangling” could this be a precurser to the plot un- ravelling?
    This time warping saga has me intrigued Miss Scarlet… I love your description of Moonchild’s ringed fingers…

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  5. lisleman

    “21st November 2045” Wondering if I will be around to take picture. Can a spirit take a picture from the afterlife? Will the internet still be running in 2045? Will Moonchild start a workshop on fun places for time travel?
    Lots of questions but I do know I’m already ready for the next episode of Moonchild

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Questions, questions, questions!!! I have no idea, Bill!! The Internet will no longer exist in 2045 – by then we will all be Borg – only less effective due to fake news and post-truth.
      Sx

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  8. nick

    I’ve been looking for an intellectually challenging new interest, and Whittling Abstract Spoons sounds like just the ticket. I assume the course also includes forks and knives. Please send me full details so I can enrol.

    I’m dying to find out why Moonchild is chilled to the bone. It could be the memory of the Great Tenon Saw Tragedy of 2009. Or there again it could be just a random Arctic blast.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Nick – I think Moonchild is chilled to the bone because it is November and beneath the velvet coat she is only wearing a tie-dye silk chemise and a tea bag inspired crocheted shrug….
      Meanwhile, I have enrolled you on a course featuring traditional abstract cutlery… you might come away with a chair…. or possibly a smart suit from M&S.
      Sx

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      Lulu – ever since I read your comment I have had an image of mink handled scissors in my mind – these need to be made a reality!!! There is a market for such things – I will pass this suggestion on to Moonchild.
      Sx

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  10. eroswings

    If Moonchild is cold, might I suggest she close the door to keep out the wind and put that velvet coat back on. Perhaps she ought to knit herself a hat to keep her warm. Or she could help herself to nice bottle of wine to calm her nerves, keep her warm, and add to the fabulous bottle collection.

    Lovely calligraphy on the bottle and paper invitation. And I like the foto of the clear and decorated bottles.

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    1. Scarlet Post author

      As we have discovered it is a very long abstract story, Monsieur Pain!! I think this bottle is something to do with a Pantomime… but the article in the bottle was written before the pantomime – all very curious. This is partially why the story is so complicated!
      Sx

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